Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

[j_martin]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching/equipment failure

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching/equipment failure

Slowly applied torque just can't be mastered by some. I used to make my wife's dad mad. He'd get into my snowbound yard, get excited, spin till he has glass under the tires and just sit there. I'd evict him from his car, let the tires cool down. Back up an inch and lock the brakes. Shift into forward and apply slight throttle, let off the brakes for a second, lock the brakes (2 inches gained so far). Repeat till it rocks out of the hole he made. I'd not spin a tire in the process.
It's not a secret, but it is a skill.

 

[bbabbs]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

When I was a uniformed State Trooper I used to drive to the local boat ramp on Sunday afternoons. It was always funny to see the wives/girlfriends from the boating parties trying to back the trailer down the ramp for the first time in their lives.

 

[evinrudebigtwin]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

One evening me and my buddy pulled up to the landing and just as we were coming in...some damn yuppie comes flying in in front of us with 20 some odd foot Ranger...the thing had a 225 on it and just decked out and he had a couple guys with him...and as soon as I they cut us off I looked back and said I can tell this guy isnt going to be able to back his trailer up worth S&*T and my buddy laughed...Well here comes JIM DANDY with his tandem axle trailer being pulled by his Chrysler Town and Country "minivan" and I just lost it and so I said to my buddy "this is gonna be hilarious"...the ramp is a nice gradual sloped cement landing to give you an idea....so after about 5 tries he gets backed in and then it took them a solid ten minutes to powerload the boat LOL...finally they get the thing loaded and the guy yells go ahead pull her out...the guy in the van goes to take off and brakes the tires loose and just keeps her pinned!...so then he backs up to get a run at it and spins out again...all of a sudden they are discussing a game plan and the two biggest dudes walk around in front of van and we were like WTH are they gonna do now?...To our dismay they pile on the hood and yell gun it...OMG we never laughed so damn hard at a boat landing....We were laughing all the way home...I told him that one day we should just get a 12ver and go sit by a landing and just laugh our *****ES off!!!

 

[tomtnwlkrs]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I grew up duck hunting at Lake Eufala in Oklahoma. To say the Duck hunting crowd is different is being polite. I was probably about 14 and had been backing and loading the boat for three years at that time. We were getting things ready on the boat in the dark when a new group to the ramp shows up and cuts in line. Well they didn't know we were waiting for the salt to melt the ice on the ramp so they just hurried up and started to back down the ramp. I ran over to tell them of the ice and I also didn't notice them unhook the boat or put the plug in the back. Well you guessed it, he said he had four wheel drive and could handle the ice. So, off they went backing down the ramp and never stopped. Four wheel drive truck, nice duck hunting boat, and yes the trailer slid into the water floated out about 20 feet and sank to the bottom. The decoys floated and their floating gun cases drifted to shore. It really ****ed them off when i backed down about 45 minutes later in a two wheel drive pickup. I wanted to ask how the 4 wheel drive was going to get them out but, didn't see a snorkel on the motor.

 

[H20Rat]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Hopefully you don't take it out on other boaters if they should upset your very good system. Try it when herding kids, pointing out a restroom at the last minute for each kid one at a time, various handholding of the varmits, reminding each to do their best when assigned tasks, or just making sure they stay out of harm's way.

Restroom duties should be done before its time to back the boat down the ramp. As far as going out with kids, assuming it is you and the misses, easy, just let her wrangle kids somewhere away from the ramp, and you unload/load. No need to involve any more than 1 person in the entire process.

And no, I don't get impatient when things like that happen.. I often help other people, and have had quite a few people come up to me asking for help after seeing my load that quickly. Early in the season I'm helping someone almost every time out.

What DOES get me going though is the thoughtlessness of some people. Every ramp has them... The ones who back vehicles down and spend 20 minutes unloading coolers and misc stuff on the ramp, instead of going to the side and clearing the ramp. (or doing it before reaching the ramp) Or people of able-body that launch and then tie up to the center dividing dock, where there is hundreds of yards of perfectly good sandy beach that everyone else parks at while retrieving vehicles. And of course, the ones that don't understand that parking your boat at said dock doesn't mean you are next in line. Vehicle order dictates load order.

But my personal favorite... The people who come to the ramp to swim/fish/sit around. They have no problems letting the kids play on the ramp, while they are blocking the courtesy dock while fishing. (often with a vehicle parked on the ramp). I have told numerous people they need to keep their kids out from under my tires, which is where they will be if they keep running behind a vehicle backing down the ramp.

 

[greenbush future]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

480 hp hanging off the back of a bass fishing boat could be viewed as over the top a bit.
I can just imagine the cost to run that rig.

 

[joed]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

And of course, the ones that don't understand that parking your boat at said dock doesn't mean you are next in line. Vehicle order dictates load order.

There is no beach at the ramp I use. Boat arrival order is exactly how it works when pulling out.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

There is no beach at the ramp I use. Boat arrival order is exactly how it works when pulling out.

That is indeed atypical. Everywhere else I've ever been it's been trailer order.

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Here too ezmobee, first trailer to ramp, first boat to retrieve, there is a line of trucks with trailers waiting. Line jumpers are dealt with pretty harshly where I normally boat but the closest lake is a crap shoot, I have seen several altercations there, Park Rangers have bigger fish to fry until it turns into an fight. I guess thats why the closest lake isn't my favorite

 

[scoutboater]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

So mine isn't from a public ramp, or even a ramp I would use given a choice.

I was working at a summer camp in middle Tennessee where we had four ski boats. The heaviest was about a 20 ft I/O with a 4.3L. The thing had soft spots all over the floor, and I even went through the ski locker hatch one day because the floor the hatch was attached to gave way. Since then, I have learned (from reading on iboats) that the entire boat was probably waterlogged (hence why it was so hard to get on plane).

Anyway, a co-worker of mine decides he doesn't want to wait for our boss to go get the tractor to pull the boats with at the end of the summer. He hooks his little toyota 4 banger with a stick up to the trailer for that boat. I try to tell him that he'll never get it out. Of course, if he had listened, I wouldn't have much of a story to tell. I flat refuse to help with this, because I can already see the results. Well, they get the trailer down the 'ramp', which is really just a nice muddy spot in the bank that is sloped enough to drag a trailer down. They load the boat, hook up the bow, and get ready to go.

Now the fun really starts. He tries to drive off like normal, and promptly kills it. He starts back up, gives it some extra gas, and promptly kills it. He cranks it again, floors it, and starts trying to slip the clutch. Well, hes sitting in mud, so he spins and goes backwards. Now, at this point, he and the three guys helping him decide that he just needs more traction, so the three guys, totaling close to 800 lbs, pile into the back of his truck. He again floors it and tries to slip the clutch. He starts gaining ground, and I just cant believe what I'm seeing. Of course, this is quickly followed by the distinct smell of burning clutch and a cloud of white smoke coming from under his truck. He gets the boat out and up onto dry land, and of course boasts about how good his truck is. :facepalm:

Finally, the next day, as we're all leaving, he admits that his truck is messed up and the clutch doesnt work right anymore....

 

[I Fish]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I always hate to see a new boat in line ahead of me, and the people just push it off the trailer without starting it, then, park the trailer, jump in the boat, push off, THEN try starting. The funniest instance I've seen of this was at a Lake Erie campground. A guy does just this, with his wife and 3 kids, which the oldest looked to be about 6yrs old, already in the boat. The boat looks to be about a 20' brand new Four Winns bowrider. We watch from our camp as he pushes off, the wind is blowing to the south and carries him southwest about 200 yds offshore past the breakwall into 2 footers, and he hasn't got her started. As he nears the shore in the back of the bay, he has his wife jump over the side to keep the boat from hitting the rocks. She is trying to stand in 4 feet of water, attempting to hold the bow into the waves with no rope. This guy is cussing and yelling serious profanities at her and the kids, who are now all crying. Whenever another boater would get near to offer help, he would scream he didn't need any effin' help, all the while, crankin and crankin. He yells something about that no good lying dealer that sold him the boat, jumps over the side, and comes ashore to use the payphone at the campgound. My Dad, looking through binoculars says he doesn't have the kill switch hooked up. Well, this guy proceeds to yell profanities at the dealer on the phone in the middle of the campground, until the Park Ranger comes and asks him to calm down. While this is going on, the kids are alone on the boat, crying and screaming, with mom over the side, scared and crying, getting picked up and washed closer and closer to shore with each wave. The kids are throwing a fit, screaming and crying and, for some reason, throwing things off the back of the boat into the water, ie: rods and reels, tackle, etc. She finally lets someone help, and they tie off to the bow, and idle their boat, holding them in position. The guy gets done on the phone, and as he walks by, my Dad suggests he should check his kill switch. He replies that's what the stupid dealer says too. Well, the guy wades back out, cuts his own rope holding him to the Good Samaritans boat, yells at him that he didn't ask for any help, and sends the wife back over the side to hold the boat! Then, he climbs aboard, fumbles around with the kill switch, and, viola!, she fires right up! The wife climbs aboard, and they are off! Later that day, we went out fishing, and found three brand new rods and reels the kids had thrown over the side! We left that campground 4 days later, and their SUV and trailer were still in the parking lot. I have no idea whatever became of them, but that was a half hour I'll never forget!

 

[justchecking]

One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

One THOUGHT: My local lake with campground has a CAMPGROUND HELPER (usually a vet) who helps out campers on the campground. I may volunteer to be a BOAT RAMP HELPER (an entirely new position) with orange vest and everything this summer. I bet I will have some STORIES to tell.

One QUESTION: Why is it so often, the bigger the boat, the bigger the dumb @ss? How'd he get his money in the first place?

One EXPERIENCE: I was previously in a military unit that flew air targets (Northrop MQM-33) over Lake Erie. One time someone reported that a target had been towed in by a boater and was on the beach by a ramp on Maumee River. So we take a duce and a half over there and run into a ranger. We are standing there in uniform with the ranger and I'm watching behind us as boaters pull in, back up, get ready to launch, see us standing there, look at the (apparently expired) registration on the boat, say OH CR@P, pull out, without launching, and get the heck outa there.

Another QUESTION: Are @'s allowed in IBoats?

 

[seaboo]

Re: One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

Re: One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

Two come to mind. One (very brisk) fall day, I was riding my motorcycle and decide to stop at a public ramp (deserted, too cold to boat) for a snack. A guy pulls up with a brand new truck and a brand new boat and decides to launch. You can tell he is a newbe at this and goes thru lengths not to even get his feet wet. He unloads and pulls the boat (via a bow line) to the dock (now it is windy out), he comes to a pylon and goes to hand the rope around the pylon to his other hand (not as easy as it sounds). I ask if he wants me to grab the rope to witch I get an ill sounding "I GOT IT" reply Well at this exact moment the wind picks up and the rope slips from his hand. His boat is drifting, so he does what anyone would do.....he jumps in and goes for a swim. Long story short he was cold, his truck seat wet, and his girlfriend was mad by the end of the trip. If you can use help and someone offers....sometimes you should except.

2 We were launching a buddy's BRAND new jet ski. He had JUST wd-40'ed the trailer bunks and untied EVERY strap before he would go down the ramp (we told him to leave the bow strap on, just loosen it some and we would unhook in the water, but NOTHING doing, he wanted every line unhooked). He goes to back down the ramp (with lots of kids playing nearby) and some parent yells at the top of her lungs "STOP" (she was yelling at her kid btw). Well my buddy figures he is about to back over a kid and she is telling him to stop, so he (again like anyone would do) nails the brake. His BRAND new jet ski slides off the trailer and onto the concrete. He was not a happy camper to say the least.

 

[pguest44]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I was in Miami staying with a buddy from college who lived there, and we and a few of his buddies went out for the day boating and snorkeling. When we finished we approached the ramp and to my amazement there were people picnicking at the boat ramp, and not just a few but probably around 60-70 people. I asked what was up with this, and they said they do this to watch the idiots pull their boats out. So we pull up and yank the boat (26' rinker w/ full cabin) out in no time with 4x4 expedition. Just after us a group of people are approaching with a similar but slightly bigger boat. He pulled up with a 80's Cadillac. We were thinking we have to watch this. The guy sees us eye balling him and just goes about his business. He drops it down into low gear and crawls right out without a tire spin! He pulls up to the top of the ramp and stops next to us, jaws dropped I might add, yelling in excitement, "You boys thought I'd never get that thing out! That's what a 400 under the hood will do with a heavy @$$ car!" All while there are 4 guys next to him on the bumper of a ford ranger 2wd hopping up and down on the bumper trying to catch traction!

 

[j_martin]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Way back my older brother pulled his boat with a Cadillac. I looked at the hitch and it was bolted to the gravel shield. I said, "What's with this." He said "Check it out carefully." I found that the metal in the gravel shield was thicker than the metal in most car frames.

He never had any difficulty with that rig at all.

 

[12vMan]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

i always hate to see a new boat in line ahead of me, and the people just push it off the trailer without starting it, then, park the trailer, jump in the boat, push off, then try starting. The funniest instance i've seen of this was at a lake erie campground. A guy does just this, with his wife and 3 kids, which the oldest looked to be about 6yrs old, already in the boat. The boat looks to be about a 20' brand new four winns bowrider. We watch from our camp as he pushes off, the wind is blowing to the south and carries him southwest about 200 yds offshore past the breakwall into 2 footers, and he hasn't got her started. As he nears the shore in the back of the bay, he has his wife jump over the side to keep the boat from hitting the rocks. She is trying to stand in 4 feet of water, attempting to hold the bow into the waves with no rope. This guy is cussing and yelling serious profanities at her and the kids, who are now all crying. Whenever another boater would get near to offer help, he would scream he didn't need any effin' help, all the while, crankin and crankin. He yells something about that no good lying dealer that sold him the boat, jumps over the side, and comes ashore to use the payphone at the campgound. My dad, looking through binoculars says he doesn't have the kill switch hooked up. Well, this guy proceeds to yell profanities at the dealer on the phone in the middle of the campground, until the park ranger comes and asks him to calm down. While this is going on, the kids are alone on the boat, crying and screaming, with mom over the side, scared and crying, getting picked up and washed closer and closer to shore with each wave. The kids are throwing a fit, screaming and crying and, for some reason, throwing things off the back of the boat into the water, ie: Rods and reels, tackle, etc. She finally lets someone help, and they tie off to the bow, and idle their boat, holding them in position. The guy gets done on the phone, and as he walks by, my dad suggests he should check his kill switch. He replies that's what the stupid dealer says too. Well, the guy wades back out, cuts his own rope holding him to the good samaritans boat, yells at him that he didn't ask for any help, and sends the wife back over the side to hold the boat! Then, he climbs aboard, fumbles around with the kill switch, and, viola!, she fires right up! The wife climbs aboard, and they are off! Later that day, we went out fishing, and found three brand new rods and reels the kids had thrown over the side! We left that campground 4 days later, and their suv and trailer were still in the parking lot. I have no idea whatever became of them, but that was a half hour i'll never forget!

what an absolute nightmare that guy has made for himself

 

[Home Cookin']

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

This made me spit coffee all over my screen: "The kids are throwing a fit, screaming and crying and, for some reason, throwing things off the back of the boat into the water, ie: rods and reels, tackle, etc."
That guy was worse than dangerously incompetent His type is unbearable, and often is the victim of a hunting accident with a brother in law.

As for the old Cadillac as a tow vehicle--it's not a bad strategy. They have the power and can be bought cheap. Likewise an old station wagon but it has to have fake wood on the side to work. If you just need a "yard mule" it's a good option.

 

[infideltarget]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I always hate to see a new boat in line ahead of me, and the people just push it off the trailer without starting it, then, park the trailer, jump in the boat, push off, THEN try starting. The funniest instance I've seen of this was at a Lake Erie campground. A guy does just this, with his wife and 3 kids, which the oldest looked to be about 6yrs old, already in the boat. The boat looks to be about a 20' brand new Four Winns bowrider. We watch from our camp as he pushes off, the wind is blowing to the south and carries him southwest about 200 yds offshore past the breakwall into 2 footers, and he hasn't got her started. As he nears the shore in the back of the bay, he has his wife jump over the side to keep the boat from hitting the rocks. She is trying to stand in 4 feet of water, attempting to hold the bow into the waves with no rope. This guy is cussing and yelling serious profanities at her and the kids, who are now all crying. Whenever another boater would get near to offer help, he would scream he didn't need any effin' help, all the while, crankin and crankin. He yells something about that no good lying dealer that sold him the boat, jumps over the side, and comes ashore to use the payphone at the campgound. My Dad, looking through binoculars says he doesn't have the kill switch hooked up. Well, this guy proceeds to yell profanities at the dealer on the phone in the middle of the campground, until the Park Ranger comes and asks him to calm down. While this is going on, the kids are alone on the boat, crying and screaming, with mom over the side, scared and crying, getting picked up and washed closer and closer to shore with each wave. The kids are throwing a fit, screaming and crying and, for some reason, throwing things off the back of the boat into the water, ie: rods and reels, tackle, etc. She finally lets someone help, and they tie off to the bow, and idle their boat, holding them in position. The guy gets done on the phone, and as he walks by, my Dad suggests he should check his kill switch. He replies that's what the stupid dealer says too. Well, the guy wades back out, cuts his own rope holding him to the Good Samaritans boat, yells at him that he didn't ask for any help, and sends the wife back over the side to hold the boat! Then, he climbs aboard, fumbles around with the kill switch, and, viola!, she fires right up! The wife climbs aboard, and they are off! Later that day, we went out fishing, and found three brand new rods and reels the kids had thrown over the side! We left that campground 4 days later, and their SUV and trailer were still in the parking lot. I have no idea whatever became of them, but that was a half hour I'll never forget!

This guy should just be shot. Thats not just bad boating etiquette, thats bad husband/father etiquette.

My favorites are always the ones that dont bother to test anything before they leave the house. Dead batteries, bad (or no) fuel, mechanical issues...why do people not check this stuff before they spend the time to haul the boat to the water?

My absolute favorite though is the smart ***** with the jetski. Back in the early '90s, when I was still in college, we all used to ride PWC. We go to a local lake, and have been having fun there all day, but this daythere are a couple of guys who thought they had the fastest PWC around, and loved to show that fact off to everyone else. Passing people and cutting too close in front of them, jumping boat wakes WAY too close to the stern, splashing the kids in the swimming beach area...just being a general annoyance. Later in the day, We go back to the ramp, retrieve our PWCs, and are in the prep area changing out of our farmer john wetsuits when these turds show up to retrieve their "super fast" PWCs. Instead of tying up at the dock, one of these geniuses decides he will hold onto both PWCs in the water while coolio #1 goes and gets the slammed lowrider 2wd pickup with the huge stereo. Now picture this...coolio #1 has backed his lowrider down a fairly steep ramp, and has his double jet ski trailer too deep into the water, and is sitting there listening to his huge stereo waiting on coolio #2 to bring BOTH PWCs to the trailer...coolio #2 is standing with one foot on each ski, both running, trying to maneuver them BOTH onto the trailer at the same time. Needless to say, this didnt work. He did a horrible split, and instead of going into the water between the skis, he jumps to what we assumed to be HIS ski, and let go of the other one...which promptly started idling around the ramp area...lifejacket with kill switch tether still hooked up laying across the seat. Coolio #2 is trying to yell at his friend in the truck to go fetch his ski, but the nimrod cant hear him because of the stereo. So...coolio #2 loads his ski, and whether to get the other guys attention or just because the trailer was too deep, I dont know, but he slammed the bow roller pretty hard. Coolio #1 turns off the stereo long enough to yell and start to cuss his buddy, and notices his ski idling against the shore, on the other side of the ramp area. Hilarity ensues as we watch these idiots, from the tailgate of our 4wd Toyota, for another 20 minutes try to fetch the other ski, and then try to pull them both off the steep, slick ramp. Payback's a Beyotch...but sure is entertaining sometimes!

 

[greenz]

Re: One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

Re: One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

One THOUGHT: My local lake with campground has a CAMPGROUND HELPER (usually a vet) who helps out campers on the campground. I may volunteer to be a BOAT RAMP HELPER (an entirely new position) with orange vest and everything this summer. I bet I will have some STORIES to tell.

One QUESTION: Why is it so often, the bigger the boat, the bigger the dumb @ss? How'd he get his money in the first place?

You wouldn't happen to be talking about ceaser's creek would you? Everysingle one of these stories has happened infront of me at that lake, hence i don't go out there on the weekends anymore....... Btw, my fiance is from lebanon, have quite a few friends there.

 

[Chris Smith]

Re: One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

Re: One THOUGHT, One QUESTION, One EXPERIENCE, And Another QUESTION!

I can add one to this thread. It happined a couple of years ago at my favorite launch site, Higgins Ferry on Lake Mitchell. I had my girlfriend with me and we were taking my Glastron bowrider out for a day of riding a tank of gas out. I pull into the parking area and get in the ready lane. It wasn't terrible crowded and I get everything out of the truck and into the boat, get it unstrapped and ready to go. I still hadn't really looked toward the ramp. A couple more boats are behind me and ready also. I pull around the slight curve to the ramp and parked right at the top of the ramp, sideways and blocking everything sits a new Chevy truck with an expensive really new looking Malibu ski boat. There's some guy standing by the drivers door changing a baby's diaper right there in the seat while blocking the whole ramp!! I'm laughing and sayng out loud couldn't one or the other wait a minute? Well he notices that I have pulled up and cant go back as there are two more behind me. He gets sort of in a hurry then and the kid is squirming around and won't be still. He shouts how it's just his luck that everybody in the whole world shows up just as he's trying to get his boat launched. I couldn't stand it and leaned out the window informing him( in nice terms) that the ready lane is over by the fence and he should be getting his show going as we were waiting. He really gets in a hurry then and had a loaded baby diaper in his hand and trying to hang on to a naked kid with the other. The kid is really flopping all over and the diaper lands in the seat of the truck, dirty side down. I am hysterical by now and can hardly see from laughing so hard. So now he is cussing up a storm, get's in the truck, sits in the diaper, cusses more and backs down to the water. I turn around, back down to the water and get my boat started and back off the trailer. He's still trying to get poo off his pants when we leave the dock. Not too sure if the kid ever got a clean diaper or went commando. I take it to have been his wife that was just sitting on the dock the whole time like she was in another world.