Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

[dooma_Flatchy]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

We were coming in to load our boat as I was approaching the docks I noticed a bunch of people around a early 90 searay i/o. The bow of the boat was way above the bed of the tow truck. As I got closer I noticed the stern of the boat underwater up to the back seat. I pulled up to the loading and unloading dock and got my wife and kids off then I beached my pontoon to see if I could help. The boat was sitting on the trailer but the bow was a good foot over the tailgate of the truck sticking and straight up. The guy in the boat was raising and lowering the outdrive and the trailer was raising up and down at the same time. Some how when the guy was loading his boat and I assume he must have gave it hell on the power loading that it shot up and over the bow roller and when the boat came back down his outdrive dropped in front of the last support rail on his trailer. After about 30 minutes of pushing and pulling we came up with the idea of backing the truck into the water up to the door while a big 4x4 was attached to him and I used my boat to swing the bow back towards the lake. We got it off that way, one of his trailer bunks was busted and his prop was nothing more but scrap. After 20 minuted of dry land his boat was still draining. He was pee-oed but his wife was furious. LOL.

 

[H20Rat]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

in and out in 3 minutes

I get impatient with myself if I'm past the 90 second mark! 3 minutes? must have fallen asleep! The wife and I have a VERY good system down to say the least...

 

[Richeskis]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I can tell you one of the best places to enjoy all the fun of watching stupid human boat lunching tricks is in Needles Calif. and great boat ramp, but some of the best stories over the last 15 years of using this lunch onto the Colorado river, I think to my self, I should get divorce lawyers business cards and hand them out, and get just 10 % for the referral and could retire, but one of the best was a older, soming like a 80's Glaston, they could not get the out drive to come up, they were working on it at the beach right next to the boat ramp, I offered to help, as I have tools and figured at least I could disconnect the rams and tie up the out drive so they could load the boat on the trailer and make it up the ramp, they said they did not need any help, so I had my friend go get my truck and trailer and get in line, as it was getting busy, but he did not beat the people with the boat with stuck out drive and their early 80's S10 Blazer with manual clutch and trailer, they got to the ramp first and the ramp was then a two boat ramp, but they managed to take the middle of the ramp so no one else could use it, they still had not gotten the out drive up, I guess they figured the out drive would not drag on the concrete ramp, they were so wrong, it drug so hard it left a grove in the ramp, or at least 1/2 the way up the ramp, because of the added resistance of the dragging out drive and the concrete, the clutch burned out of the S10 Blazer, leaving the boat trailer and truck stick right in the middle of the ramp, no one could use it, now I figured I had to insist to help, I Took off the rams and tided up the out drive to stop if from dragging, they asked why I was helping I said I wanted to get my boat out while it was still day light and the line of people waiting was now about 30 trucks, we still had the problem of getting the stuck truck with the smoked clutch moving, I did not think they could mess it up anymore, but I was wrong, they got a 70's Ford Carrier that one of their buddies drove to the lunch, he drove it down forward, yea, he did not back it down, so they tied the front bumpers together with a ski rope, I was going to loan them a rope, but when I saw what they were doing I figure, why waste my rope, you can guess it now, snap goes the rope, they try again, getting the bumpers touching, this time the bumper on the Carrier comes off, OK, Now I need to get involved again, tell them to back down, and tie to the back bumper of the Carrier to the front bumper of the S10, another boater hoping to use the ramp some time that day loaned them another rope and guess what with lots of smoke and hope both the Carrier, S10 and Boat and trailer made if off the ramp, not sure how they got home from there, as I was so over the event, I just wanted to get my boat loaded and out of there...

 

[aldena]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Hey everybody! Long story, but one I'll never forget.
Many years ago, on the lake on a weekday, very few other boaters. Came with my buddy Roy, who had a thing about having older, odd vehicles, and a lot of them. Things like a Rambler or a Checker, or some large 60's Buick or PU truck. Felt the same about boats too. This time is was a Rambler wagon, straight 6, the auto trans had been replaced with 3-on-the-tree, and the rear end gear ratio was all wrong for this setup. If I had to take a guess numerically, probably 2.25:1.
Cool boat, too. 60's Anthony hull, 16 or 17 feet, horizontal tail fins, USED to be an outboard. He bought it already converted into a v-drive, with a Pontiac 389, cable w/pully steering too. Ahh, the good ol' days!
End of the day, Roy backs the trailer in, I pull the boat on, and were ready to go. Or so I thought. Between the high ratio of first gear on the 3 speed, the rear end, and lack of power, we can't get off the ramp. He's revving it, slippin' the clutch, after 10 minutes of this, we managed to move 30 feet. Good thing nobody else is there. Ranger Rick is watching this go on, and when we asked for help, he declined, saying he's not allowed to.
Now comes Roy's great idea. Reverse is geared lower, so we should back up the ramp. All we have to do is a reverse U-turn, he says. Going slowly, we get the trailer turning, and it looks like this is going to work. The trailer is pointed uphill, backwards of course, when Roy decides we need momentum. He punches it, the front of the vehicle swings around, he's trying to straighten it all out and SPLASH! The front 1/3 of the car hit the water, and the engine stalls. :facepalm:
Well, we get the engine started, but can't back up the ramp anyway, still not enough power. A few more attempts, and were now sitting sideways on the ramp. It's been about 30 minutes of trying to get up. Did I mention it was a good thing nobody else was there? Another idea... time for a circle jerk. It works to get a skier up with a small outboard, so let's give it a try. Back up until fully jackknifed, put it first gear, punch it. The Rambler is moving, the trailer is swinging around to follow, lo' and behold, were out!
Good times.

 

[joed]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I can tell you one of the best places to enjoy all the fun of watching stupid human boat lunching tricks is in Needles Calif. and great boat ramp, but some of the best stories over the last 15 years of using this lunch onto the Colorado river, I think to my self, I should get divorce lawyers business cards and hand them out, and get just 10 % for the referral and could retire, but one of the best was a older, soming like a 80's Glaston, they could not get the out drive to come up, they were working on it at the beach right next to the boat ramp, I offered to help, as I have tools and figured at least I could disconnect the rams and tie up the out drive so they could load the boat on the trailer and make it up the ramp, they said they did not need any help, so I had my friend go get my truck and trailer and get in line, as it was getting busy, but he did not beat the people with the boat with stuck out drive and their early 80's S10 Blazer with manual clutch and trailer, they got to the ramp first and the ramp was then a two boat ramp, but they managed to take the middle of the ramp so no one else could use it, they still had not gotten the out drive up, I guess they figured the out drive would not drag on the concrete ramp, they were so wrong, it drug so hard it left a grove in the ramp, or at least 1/2 the way up the ramp, because of the added resistance of the dragging out drive and the concrete, the clutch burned out of the S10 Blazer, leaving the boat trailer and truck stick right in the middle of the ramp, no one could use it, now I figured I had to insist to help, I Took off the rams and tided up the out drive to stop if from dragging, they asked why I was helping I said I wanted to get my boat out while it was still day light and the line of people waiting was now about 30 trucks, we still had the problem of getting the stuck truck with the smoked clutch moving, I did not think they could mess it up anymore, but I was wrong, they got a 70's Ford Carrier that one of their buddies drove to the lunch, he drove it down forward, yea, he did not back it down, so they tied the front bumpers together with a ski rope, I was going to loan them a rope, but when I saw what they were doing I figure, why waste my rope, you can guess it now, snap goes the rope, they try again, getting the bumpers touching, this time the bumper on the Carrier comes off, OK, Now I need to get involved again, tell them to back down, and tie to the back bumper of the Carrier to the front bumper of the S10, another boater hoping to use the ramp some time that day loaned them another rope and guess what with lots of smoke and hope both the Carrier, S10 and Boat and trailer made if off the ramp, not sure how they got home from there, as I was so over the event, I just wanted to get my boat loaded and out of there...

Holy smoke not one period in that whole thing.

 

[TravG]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Years ago, I launched my 17' sailboat and had my then girlfriend (now wife... it all worked out) hold on to it at the dock. I guess I didn't do a good job with the details. As I came back after parking the truck, I noticed she was holding on to one of the shrouds, rather than the conveniently rigged bowline. Being that it was windy, the boat started blowing away from her. Rather than let go, she held on valiantly, and took a swim in the drink for her efforts. I couldn't stop laughing and she was furious.

 

[26aftcab454]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

ahww-these are entertaining. as a boy we used to hang out and watch shenenigans at the ramp... At Sam Rayborn lake in TX saw a guy drunker than a monkey drive his nice$$ bass boat up to the beach next to the ramp- he cuts the motor , runs up front to coast in to the beach-cept he did not raise the motor and when it digs into the sand suddenly stops and throws him off the bow- after a few min he beaches the boat- the dude can barley walk- he goes to back down to the ramp too deep- after a few more min falling down in the water- gets the boat started-drives on the trailer and falls off the bow trying to connect the winch strap. when he pulled the boat out of the water the motor was still running in gear. he was there 30 min and the Game Warden met him at parking lot exit.

I like to party and have fun but never like this... cept one or twice...:facepalm:

 

[DaNinja]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Holy smoke not one period in that whole thing.

Yeah, I couldn't read it.

 

[Bob's Garage]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Holy smoke not one period in that whole thing.

So, I gotta ask, did you read it or just look for the periods (or lack there of)? I started to read it but couldn't make it past the 2nd line.

I don't know what is going on but there seems to be a awful lot of "new" posters that can't seem to write a decent sentence. Or proof read, either.

 

[DaNinja]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

So, I gotta ask, did you read it or just look for the periods (or lack there of)? I started to read it but couldn't make it past the 2nd line.

I don't know what is going on but there seems to be a awful lot of "new" posters that can't seem to write a decent sentence. Or proof read, either.

Walls O' Text (WOT) are a bit of a peeve to me on forums.
Folks should really use the "Preview" button to see how their post reads.

 

[madman2021]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

well last spring break weekend, i took the boat out to go to the lake and party at the island. waited in line at the free boat ramp for an hour cause im too cheap to go to the $15 one. finally one person is left in front of me. they have a newer chevy surburban and a beautiful new moomba ski boat. after 15 minutes of them trying to back it down and jack knifin, they finally get it. family gets out of the car and the husband is the last to get out. well as soon as he steps out the whole rig rolls into the lake. truck, trailer, and the bow of the boat really low in the water due to the winch strap hooked up. omg now what?? guy walks up to me and asks what should i do. well me being a very helpful person i park my boat across the road and back down the ramp and grab my tow strap. after a few dives underwater i find the front of the surburban and hook the strap to the tow hook. with my truck in 4x4 low i yank the whole setup out and drag it to the field across the street. guy is very thankful and gives me $50 for helping out. sweet... gas is paid for now. he then asks me if i could hook his boat up to my truck and launch it cause he still wants to go out. ok, sure!! launch his boat and i get another thanks and another $50. booya!!! the beer is paid for. launched my boat and had a good day. new boaters are funny

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Did you give him a phone number for his future boating launches?? LOL

 

[madman2021]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

i should have...... might have gotten $50 for each time i do it?

 

[BoatingCop]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

well last spring break weekend, i took the boat out to go to the lake and party at the island. waited in line at the free boat ramp for an hour cause im too cheap to go to the $15 one. finally one person is left in front of me. they have a newer chevy surburban and a beautiful new moomba ski boat. after 15 minutes of them trying to back it down and jack knifin, they finally get it. family gets out of the car and the husband is the last to get out. well as soon as he steps out the whole rig rolls into the lake. truck, trailer, and the bow of the boat really low in the water due to the winch strap hooked up. omg now what?? guy walks up to me and asks what should i do. well me being a very helpful person i park my boat across the road and back down the ramp and grab my tow strap. after a few dives underwater i find the front of the surburban and hook the strap to the tow hook. with my truck in 4x4 low i yank the whole setup out and drag it to the field across the street. guy is very thankful and gives me $50 for helping out. sweet... gas is paid for now. he then asks me if i could hook his boat up to my truck and launch it cause he still wants to go out. ok, sure!! launch his boat and i get another thanks and another $50. booya!!! the beer is paid for. launched my boat and had a good day. new boaters are funny

Nice! I could really afford more gas in the boat if I found this dude! What lake were you at?

 

[BLD]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

This is a great thread. This may be a little long but the little details make it so much more fun.

Our first launch on our first boat was pretty interesting to say the least. Late last summer we bought an early '90s Bayliner 195 from a very nice, older couple who took excellent care of it. Before they took our cash they wanted to take us out to the river near their place to make sure we were happy with it (like I said, very nice people). Since we towed the boat there in my truck, I backed down the launch, which was parallel to the river, perfect the first try. I'm feeling pretty cool at this point. We untied from the trailer and drug the boat to the edge of the dock so the guy waiting behind us could launch. After parking the truck the older gentleman and I hitched a ride back down to the ramp with another guy who was on his way to load his boat. We fired her up and shoved off the dock, but this is where it got fun.

The nice older gentleman who was at the wheel could not get the prop to engage in reverse. I guess it had been a while since he had done it. Fiddling with the throttle and the prop engage button he was able to get it in gear going forward, and proceeded to drive toward the ramp (with quite a handful of throttle) while trying to make a U-turn in the very tight space between the dock and the edge of the water. right as we were perpendicular to the ramp we bottomed out and got the boat stuck completely sideways on the concrete ramp . Thank god the trim was not all the way down because he was giving the throttle some love and you could hear the bottom of the hull scraping on the concrete ramp . I had him hold on while I hopped into the waist deep water and pushed the boat free from the ramp. right as I get to the back of the boat to climb up the ladder he engages the prop and begins to rev it again, with my feet just inches from the spinning prop .

Needless to say I was pretty ticked because he had scraped up the bottom of our new, and otherwise excellent boat. That and I'm not a fan of having any of my parts near a moving prop. I didn't say anything though because I could tell he was embarrassed by doing that in front of us and the other guy who was trying to load his boat up.

We had a good few hours on the river getting familiar with our new boat and when it came time to dock it I let him take the wheel again. He pulled up to the dock pretty hot and put a nice shiner on the bow . Again I didn't say anything because they were very nice, and we really got a steal of a deal.

Now when we launch & load we may not get it done in under a minute, but we definitely know what not to do .

 

[12vMan]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Holy smoke not one period in that whole thing.

That's funny!! Not trying to poke fun at you, but just the thought of someone actually noticing that cracks me up!

 

[madman2021]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I was at lake Conroe. But I mostly hang out at lake Houston and lake Livingston

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

One of the most memorable stupid ramp tricks featured a husband, wife, and two children in a station wagon loaded to the gills with camping equipment. (It already sounds like a John Candy movie)

Jerkoff puts his wife in the driver's seat as he's going to 'guide' her down the ramp. He's yelling a blue streak and she is obviously becoming more agitated by his behavior. Finally get the boat to the water and he urgently shouts for her to stop because the boat is still tied to the trailer. She stops fine and then he angrily yells at her to move the car forward. I guess she forgot she was still in reverse for when she floored the pedal the car was slightly in the water by the time she figured it out. Now she's in forward gear but the tires aren't getting any traction. The boat is floating and pulling the trailer and car into the water.

He yells at her to get out of the car so he can get in. She sees the kids in back and starts to shriek. It's a real cluster now. He decides the best way to get the kids out of the car is to roll down the rear window, throw camping gear out of the way, and have them crawl out the window. Rolling down the window released the air pocket in the car and it sank out of view. All that was visible was the boat down in the bow.

A couple guys did go over to have a talk with this guy as their wives consoled his wife.

 

[lncoop]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

That's funny!! Not trying to poke fun at you, but just the thought of someone actually noticing that cracks me up!

As has been mentioned before, ee cummings is not dead but is alive and well on iboats.

 

[nuboat2me]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I used to launch at a county park when I lived in St. Louis. There is a wide spot in the river in which they call a "Lake"...

Watching a Noob Husband and wife prep the boat for launch. Its a two space ramp, they, taking both... ( I wasn't in a hurry). Husband did the prep. Transom Straps, unplugged the lights... He loosened the tension on the winch strap. Told the Wife that when he gets closer the water, just un hook it.

Sounds normal to me... BUT...

I think the wife only heard "Un Hook the winch strap". :facepalm:

Its a nice Boat and is on a really nice roller trailer. He gets in the truck, she unhooks the Winch strap. He begins to back down the steep ramp. All of a sudden, the boat begins to slide off the trailer. SO... in her infinate wisdom she hollers... "STOP!!!!

He hits the brakes VERY HARD!!!

Yep... the really nice 18 ft. Bow rider slides completely off the trailer. I giggle... and jump out of my truck to see what I can do to help. He is screaming, she is crying and a crowd is starting to form.

Now, its been about 30 minutes and 5 others and myself, decide... We want to fish. SO... Inch by inch, we got the boat back on the trailer.

I launched my boat (5 minutes from splash to park and back to the boat)

Yeah... I like putting up a lawn chair and watch the SHT's from time to time...

Have a great day!!!