Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

[Grant Brown]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

One day when I was a kid in the mid 70's, were were having a nice family boating day at a lake in the Okanagan Valley of BC.
I was about 10-12 so the details are a bit fuzzy but here's how I remember it...
The area is very popular and sees lots of crazy antics on any long weekend.
This one day, we were standing near the dock and launch, when this 16-17 foot cobra style boat comes in. It's got a huge V8, tunnel ram, custom metal flake paint and dry stack headers. Dry stacks are very loud as they dump exhaust straight into the air instead of the water (water muffles the sound). Anyway, this bozo had been racing around with his girlfriend in the boat all afternoon, never very far from the beach or launch showing off and generally irritating everyone for miles.
They are drunk as can be and he hops out and heads up to get the truck. She's standing there in her bikini holding a beer in one hand and a line to the boat with the other.
Suddenly we notice that the boat is filling with water. Beer cans and crap floating around in it. He had been running with a plug out (I suppose) and when he got to shore the thing filled up. By the time the guy got back to the boat the thing was sunk and the motor was under water.
I still remember the girl freaking out and nobody helping.
I think about it to this day whenever I see one of those a++holes...

 

[dozerII]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

One day when I was a kid in the mid 70's, were were having a nice family boating day at a lake in the Okanagan Valley of BC.
I was about 10-12 so the details are a bit fuzzy but here's how I remember it...
The area is very popular and sees lots of crazy antics on any long weekend.
This one day, we were standing near the dock and launch, when this 16-17 foot cobra style boat comes in. It's got a huge V8, tunnel ram, custom metal flake paint and dry stack headers. Dry stacks are very loud as they dump exhaust straight into the air instead of the water (water muffles the sound). Anyway, this bozo had been racing around with his girlfriend in the boat all afternoon, never very far from the beach or launch showing off and generally irritating everyone for miles.
They are drunk as can be and he hops out and heads up to get the truck. She's standing there in her bikini holding a beer in one hand and a line to the boat with the other.
Suddenly we notice that the boat is filling with water. Beer cans and crap floating around in it. He had been running with a plug out (I suppose) and when he got to shore the thing filled up. By the time the guy got back to the boat the thing was sunk and the motor was under water.
I still remember the girl freaking out and nobody helping.
I think about it to this day whenever I see one of those a++holes...

There is alot of truth to the old saying what "goes around comes around", The guy thought he was entertaining everyone while he was on the water, but it didn't turn into real entertainment till he went for his truck!!!

 

[DaveInHawaii]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

RE: Punctuation. Wait - he used THREE periods at the very end of his posting . . .

 

[Grant Brown]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

RE: Punctuation. Wait - he used THREE periods at the very end of his posting . . .

That's right, we're really edgemicated up here in Canada...

 

[lncoop]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

That's right, we're really edgemicated up here in Canada...

They're not talking about you, eh. Scan page one and I bet you'll find the referenced post in about 37 seconds. Long on words and short on punctuation.

 

[VegasNordie]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

You guys are gonna love my puntuation...this is why i work construction but heres one of my stories

two mexican lads my age early 20's buy a jetboat...something similar to mine, and i am watching them launch...they are towing with a gt mustang with 20's on it...so i see him backing in the water, and the quickly realize they cant get the boat far enough in the water without swamping the mustang....so what do they do? they tie the ski tow to the dock, and rip the boat off of the trailer...i tell them way to go woohoo how you gonna get the boat back on the trailer? and the look of death became on their faces as i got in my boat and left...wonder how they did it??????

 

[ShoestringID]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I have a bunch of ramp stories, but here is one of my favorites...
I was in the staging area with my boat and I happened to look down at the ramp and in the lake about 20 feet from the ramp there were 2 guys in a $30k Ranger standing up in their boat yanking up and down violently with their fishing rods as if they were jigging for a whale. I launched my boat and as I slowly puttered by them, I asked them what the heck they were doing? One of the guys looks at me and says "we're trying to catch our engine"! At that moment I noticed there was no outboard on the back of the boat. Good lesson immediately learned about the special qualities of an outboard motor safety cable

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

He finally comes up and announces "Found it!" About 4-5 more dives and he finally gets the cable around the front bumper of the Jeep.

It would have been even more hilarious if Larry had hooked to some other car which had been sunk longer than the Jeep.

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I get impatient with myself if I'm past the 90 second mark! 3 minutes? must have fallen asleep! The wife and I have a VERY good system down to say the least...

Hopefully you don't take it out on other boaters if they should upset your very good system. Try it when herding kids, pointing out a restroom at the last minute for each kid one at a time, various handholding of the varmits, reminding each to do their best when assigned tasks, or just making sure they stay out of harm's way.

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

This happened to the man who sold me my current boat. The boat involved was a brand new 20' bass boat with twin 240 outboards.

He's retired and an avid bass fisherman. He's out fishing for lg mouth with a buddy. He pulls in close to a bank and a rattler falls into the boat. They start panicking. Panicked enough to pull out his sidearm and start shooting at the snake. With holes in the boat he makes a high speed run back to the ramp. After about a 20 minute run, including high speed through a long no wake zone, he runs the bow onto the concrete ramp. That got everyone's attention. He tosses the truck keys to his buddy who drops them in the water. After some time he retrieves the keys and scurries up the ramp.

Upon seeing a swamped boat with a wide-eyed panicked man standing in the boat with his overweight friend huffing and puffing up the long ramp, many on the ramp and dock start suggesting putting in the plug and other ribbing. Some who know him wander over and see splintered fiberglas and decide they should not say much more. But now this guy is grow more angry and less panicked. It seems true that the number of people (and who know you) on the ramp is directly proportionate to the stupidity of your situation.

After weaving through various trucks/trailers on the ramp, his friend finally maneuvers into position to retrieve the boat. It's not as swamped as he thought so boat recovery is easier than he thought. He's upset though so he forgets to secure the boat to the trailer which has rollers. The truck moves forward and the boat slides onto the ramp. Now no one can contain themselves and the ramp roars with laughter. No one will ever let him live this down. Some say it was typical of Wayne.

This was told to me y several who were there and later confirmed when I asked Wayne. He had the boat under a tarp and wouldn't let me see.

 

[NYBo]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

This happened to the man who sold me my current boat. The boat involved was a brand new 20' bass boat with twin 240 outboards.

 

[j_martin]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I think I need a shovel.

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

He had 3 boats in various states of repair. I bought one of them. He shed all 3 boats in order to buy the boat which was the subject in my story.

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I think I need a shovel.

Why would you say that? If I got anything wrong it was the description of his boat. I'm not into bass boats so I probably didn't describe his boat correctly. But I do remember it has two monster outboards.

 

[NYBo]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Never heard of a bass boat with dual outboards.

 

[hobiekat]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I have owned boats most of my life on and off, so I thought I knew pretty much all the things you need to know about launching boats. Now there might have been a time or two I forgot to put the plug in, no major problems though. On a road trip once I ended up at Port Clinton on Lake Erie. I had a 16 foot Bass Tracker and wasn't planning on taking it out on the lake but there were some bays I thought would be safe. At the time I had a 93 Ford Ranger with a 4 liter, manuel tranny. Found this nice little ramp at a nearby state park. Not too steep, water was only a few feet away, thought nothing could go wrong. I was by myself, it was middle of the week and I didn't see anyone else around. Proceeded to back down the ramp, due to the angle I had to back down till my back wheels were about a foot into the water. Not a foot deep, just a foot from the dry part of the ramp, no big deal. Put the boat in gear, firmly set the parking brake. Proceeded to get out and as soon as I let my foot off the brakes releasing the front wheel brakes, truck, boat and trailer slowly slide down the ramp. Mashed the brake pedal and front brakes stop slide. I'm a lttle freaked out, this has never happened to me before. Ok I thought just start up the truck, I'm high and dry and should be able to pull right out, Ranger had always been adequate on even difficult ramps. Well fire it up, put it in first gear and let her rip. Ramp is so slick I go backwards instead of forward. I never knew there was evil algea that grew below the waterline on boat ramps. Well my front tires are still on dry land so as long as I keep my foot mashed to the floor board, I won't lose everything, front brakes still holding me on the ramp. I just can't figure out why there is nobody else in the park, got to be somebody somewhere. Finally I see a guy walking in my direction, he's not a boater and doesn't have any idea why I'm having trouble. He's willing to help. Boat is still attached to trailer and sitting ok. Only thing I can think of is to get the guy to unhook boat from winch and pull it over to the courtesy dock, maybe if I just have to pull trailer out I will have a chance of pulling up the ramp. Remember I'm stuck in truck with foot on the brake. Guy finally gets boat over to the dock out and clear of trailer. Still no one else around, so I figure just gotta go for it. With the boat off the trailer I managed to get the back wheels on dry land. Ended up getting boat relaoded, wasnt't going out now, needed a cold adult beverage or two to calm the nerves. Lesson learned, never back your back wheels into the water on an unfamilar boat ramp. Was terrified at time, but when I read this this thread I can laugh about it now.

 

[NHGuy]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Why would you say that? If I got anything wrong it was the description of his boat. I'm not into bass boats so I probably didn't describe his boat correctly. But I do remember it has two monster outboards.

I bet it had a V8 outboard and a kicker.

 

[RICHARD5]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

I bet it had a V8 outboard and a kicker.

His new boat was open flat deck like the bass boats I have seen. (collapsable seat on deck with trolling motor and foot pedal) The deck extended from the bow to just abaft midship. The last 3rd was a bit deeper for a cockpit with 2 seats on short poles. Both stations had speed style swept windshields. Definitely twin outboards hung on it.

 

[j_martin]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Why would you say that? If I got anything wrong it was the description of his boat. I'm not into bass boats so I probably didn't describe his boat correctly. But I do remember it has two monster outboards.

Let's just say the embelishment presented is .. er... well... usually found in the barn.

 

[dooma_Flatchy]

Re: Funny Ramp Stories/ Boat Ramp Watching

Let's just say the embelishment presented is .. er... well... usually found in the barn.

Horse feathers?