Re: Butt Doctor
Well I will have to say that my experience was quite different.<br /><br />First off, I was suffering with the worst flu of my adult life, which wore me down enough so that I got the worst cold of my adult life. A trip to the doctor produced some medications which I had never heard of or taken before.<br /><br />So after being on a broth diet for 3 more days, start to feel a little better. Its Saturday afternoon and I go to take a dump. No problem except that the toilet is full of blood.<br /><br />But now I'm starving to death but know that I will be heading to the doc first thing Monday morning to get this thing checked out, so I stay on the liquid diet. Head to the doc on Monday, and he tells me to go home, take this stuff, and not eat. But come back on Tuesday.<br /><br />Well, since I'm already empty, the stuff does nothing. And I'm upall night worrying that I will have to run to the bathroom. Believe it or not, I only made the trip once, remember I said I was already empty.<br /><br />So off to the hospital I go. I know carrotsnapper said he was under a general, but not me. Doc put a dab of cream on the snake and started shoving it in. Now this thing is not pencil sized. It is big enough to hold the fiberoptics, the light, and an airhose, they inflate you as they go so they can see all the wall areas. And they try to strike up a conversation with you. Weird. About 30 inches of snake later, the doc says "ok, there's going to be a little pressure now".<br /><br />All I can manage to say is "nooowwww?"<br /><br />Ok, done, so he starts to back it out, deflating as he goes.<br />Now he sends me across the street to the clinic to have the exit filled with a radioactive barium solution and a bunch of xrays.<br /><br />I get there and have to sit on a cold bench for an hour.<br />Ok, they call my name and escort me into a radiology room.<br />In walks an absolutely drop dead gorgeous 20 something rad tech. She asks me if I have ever had this done before, or if I have every had an enema. I'm thinking about telling her that I do it all the time just for fun, but wanted to share the experience with her this time. But no, I just say "never."<br /><br />She instantly goes from being an object of desire, to an hag. "Great, why do I get all the first timers?, she says.<br /><br />Ok, "up on the table, on your back, spread your legs. Amazingly, I hear no laughing. She pushes in the plug, starts the barium flowing, and in walks the radiologist. He is yelling at her about this and that, nothing is right. Ok, resume pumping the juice, snap an xray, pump some more, snackracklepop !!! He starts cussing at her for having the xray machine all jammed up. He walks out.<br /><br />She tells me to go to the bathroom and get the "stuff" out of me before it hardens. !!!<br /><br />15 minutes later the machine is fixed and she inserts the plug again and starts pumping. In comes the doc again. Pump, snap, pump, snap,....... all the time mumbling to her. Then he's yelling at me, "Tell me if you have had your appendix out, I'm not going to ask you again".<br /><br />My response was "huh?, me? ummm, no" ... pump, snap, pump, snap. He walks out. I go to the bathroom and empty out again.<br /><br />So what did they find? <br />Nothing. NO-THING !!!!<br />They said it was caused by taking the cold/flu medication (augmentin?? and some other stuff) without having any food in my system. ARRRGGGHHH !!!!<br /><br />What did it cost? <br />No medical bills, all paid for by the insurance, the good old days.<br />But I starved for 6 days and missed 7 days of work.<br /><br />How can I remember all this in such great detail, from 19 years ago? Believe me, I will never forget.
The good news is, I'm clean, and don't have to do it again for 5 years. It's good to know that you don't have colon cancer. 
