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dwco5051

Commander
Joined
Sep 14, 2008
Messages
2,411
I used this as a joke at lunch today on my wife and her oldest boy. Than I mentioned that we did this when I was a kid and the mild injuries sustained at an abandoned strip mine I got. My wife also did it and told about the disasters her and the girl from the farm next to them got under similar deeds. The boy had stories too with the same endings. Since my wife is younger than me it was basically three generations. Then my stepson thought for a while and said he felt sorry for city kids. They never had any fun things to do.
 

Krazeehorse

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
118
Paddy and Mick were in their rowboat on the Irish Sea fishing. Being good Irishmen, they were knocking back some beers. Well, Paddy had one too many and passed out. While Paddy was sleeping, Mick got a hit on his line that damn near pulled him out of the boat. After a tough hour long battle, Mick finally prevailed and got his catch alongside the boat. To his amazement, he realized that he hooked a mermaid. The mermaid pleaded with Mick to set her free, promising to grant him any wish he desired if he would release her. Mick thought for a few seconds and said, "Can you turn the Irish Sea into Guinness ?" The mermaid told him that, yes she could, if that was what he wished for. He said that yes, that was his wish, and then proceeded to unhook her from the line. When she was free, she uttered a few words in an ancient language and told Mick that his wish was granted, then swam away. Mick quickly got his glass, leaned over the side of the boat and filled it, and took a big drink. To his amazement, it WAS Guinness. He shook Paddy awake and told him the whole story, but Paddy didn't believe him. He told Paddy to get a glass and scoop some up for himself. Paddy did just that, and said,
"OH MY GOD, It IS Guiness !"After finishing his drink, Paddy leaned over and smacked Mick in the face. Mick said, 'HEY, what was THAT for ?" PADDY replied, "Ya simple bastid . . . Now we're gonna have to **** in the boat !"
 

gm280

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
14,604
All I know is, I was so looking forward to 2021....not anymore....
 

redneck joe

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
10,919
Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period.
Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to
send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but: "Nescafe".
Puzzled at first Mum went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Great from beginning to end".
Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding and the card read: "Rothmans".
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes to read from the pack: "Super strong King Size".
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.. the third girl departed for her honeymoon in New Zealand.
Mum waited for a week,
Nothing.
Another week went by and still nothing.
A month passed; still nothing.
A card finally arrived from Auckland on which was written with shaky hand, "Air New Zealand ".
Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst and finally found the ad for Air NZ.
'Ten times a day, seven days a week, in all directions.'
MUM FAINTED!!!
 

WIMUSKY

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
19,912
Yeah, I had hoped for better. I'm only 74 but now I'm beginning to think I might have lived one year too long.
bassman, say what? Nahh. Turn the news off for awhile. Doesn't hurt to put ones head in the sand for awhile. Besides, we need you to continue with Pick 'em.....Somebody needs to give GA a run for his money...... When it's my time,
I'm gonna go kicking and screaming....😉
 

bassman284

Commander
Joined
Jun 24, 2006
Messages
2,840
Oh, I', not going anywhere soon. Just old and grumpy. I really avoid news as much as possible but it sort of sneaks up on you sometimes.
 

WIMUSKY

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
19,912
Oh, I', not going anywhere soon. Just old and grumpy. I really avoid news as much as possible but it sort of sneaks up on you sometimes.
The news is like a car wreck at times, well, most of the time, it's hard to look away....
 

gm280

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
14,604
Watching the news is a balancing act. On one hand you want to stay informed. But on the other hand you are very tired of the stories you see every time.
 

gm280

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
14,604
I am reasonably sure you've all heard of the "Thunderbirds", and even the "Blue Angels" as well, but I bet you haven't seen these precision flying teams...

 
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