One liners

[Andrew Leigh]

Re: One liners

A man walks into a psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm. The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see you're nuts"<br /><br />Two aerials get married. The ceremony was poor but the reception was great.

 

[stan_deezy]

Re: One liners

My ex-girlfriend wore an American bra: one yank and it was off <br /><br />The reason the Israelis won the six day war? The Russian military advisers for the Egyptians were waiting for winter to set in......and the Italian military advisers had sent all the tanks back to get reversing lights fitted.<br /><br />If all the civil servants in the UK were laid end-to-end........they'd be doing a far better job than they are now.<br /><br />Difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley? Shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

Like the frog said: <br />"Time's fun when you're having flies"<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />You have to grow old.<br />You don't have to grow up .<br /><br /><br />(Yeah, I know - two-liner)

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

I am truly tankful that some have seen fit to enter in (fit in ) to the spirit of this thread. No Joke.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

Red meat is not bad for you - Green FUZZY meat is bad for you.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

A baby seal walks into a bar and asks for a Canadian Club on the rocks...

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

How do you know that a blonde has been at the computer - By the white out on the monitor.

 

[coleman kayak1]

Re: One liners

two sausages are laying in a pan, one looks to the other and says "it sure is hot in here", and the other says "look, a talking sausage"

 

[Scaaty]

Re: One liners

Originally posted by technosensitive:<br /> Why do ducks have web feet - To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet - to stamp out flaming ducks.

And whats that brown stuff between an elephants toes?<br /><br />Slow natives......

 

[ZmOz]

Re: One liners

Life's a b*tch...then you marry one.

 

[fireman57]

Re: One liners

If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

Originally posted by fireman57:<br /> If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.

LSHIHADTWCOTM <br />It's an ill wind that blows (no pun intended) no one no good.

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

"From now on anybody who flies the ocean will be just an imitation of Lindberg." (Will Rogers, 1927)

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy.

 

[Kenneth Brown]

Re: One liners

Confucios say man who run in front of car get tired, man who run in back of car get exhuasted.

 

[lark2004]

Re: One liners

If it's got wheels or wears a skirt, it's gonna cost ya money!

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

"So they've got us surrounded, good! Now we can fire in any direction, those *******s won't get away this time!" -CHESTY PULLER, USMC

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: One liners

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.<br /><br />-Groucho Marx

 

[technostingray]

Re: One liners

Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.<br />(Unknown Aviator)

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: One liners

A Priest a Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar, bartender says what's this some kind of joke.....