inthedirtagain
Petty Officer 1st Class
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2011
- Messages
- 321
As a reference for others to learn from, I am posting my instructions to completely avoid having a good time while on vacation. You can make this mandatory reading for friends and family, or merely criticize me and tell me how I am a failure and everything is my fault (just like my wife does).
In no particular order:
1. Make sure that the ladies traveling on vacation with you are on their monthly cycle, or late.
2. Be sure to stay with YOUR mother the night before vacation to ensure that the wifey is in the proper "mood."
3. Pack wayyyy more than you ever intend on needing or using.
4. Own a tow vehicle that is uncomfortable to ride in for everyone else, but you.
5. Make sure to "rescue" another pet just before the big trip, and demand to bring it along with all of the family pets.
6. Ignore the advice from the MIL (refer back to #3) and demand to go grocery shopping nowhere near the intended destination.
7. Get a nasty virus on the day of departure, spread it to the family, and enjoy the squirts every 2hrs while driving.
8. Have a roll-over accident and completely destroy all of your family's posessions, including the new boat and all of the mandatory water toys, while being nowhere near home. (Being nearly broke and on vacation earns bonus points).
9. If you really want to NOT have a good vacation, be sure sure that insurance coverage is minimal, or that you have a really crappy company/agent to deal with. This always provides excellent conversational pieces for the wifey.
In no particular order:
1. Make sure that the ladies traveling on vacation with you are on their monthly cycle, or late.
2. Be sure to stay with YOUR mother the night before vacation to ensure that the wifey is in the proper "mood."
3. Pack wayyyy more than you ever intend on needing or using.
4. Own a tow vehicle that is uncomfortable to ride in for everyone else, but you.
5. Make sure to "rescue" another pet just before the big trip, and demand to bring it along with all of the family pets.
6. Ignore the advice from the MIL (refer back to #3) and demand to go grocery shopping nowhere near the intended destination.
7. Get a nasty virus on the day of departure, spread it to the family, and enjoy the squirts every 2hrs while driving.
8. Have a roll-over accident and completely destroy all of your family's posessions, including the new boat and all of the mandatory water toys, while being nowhere near home. (Being nearly broke and on vacation earns bonus points).
9. If you really want to NOT have a good vacation, be sure sure that insurance coverage is minimal, or that you have a really crappy company/agent to deal with. This always provides excellent conversational pieces for the wifey.
