Re: Facebook parenting (tough love)
And no offense intended Yacht Dr.:
He needs to be loving, but firm. That girl needed to hit a brick wall called "dad." She needs her world shaken up, but not by an antagonist. She needs her world shaken up by an authority who is lovingly trying to shape her character. Her dad is supposed to provide that shaping (which even in the video he's doing in a crass sense). BUT, her dad is also supposed to be her protector (which he's not doing at all in the video - he's dragging her through the marketplace). The dad is antagonistic, not authoritative. Good parenting will occasionally push a child away (unfortunately), when the child takes offense at authority exercising it's right/responsibility. Parents have to be careful to balance out enforcing right behaviors, while not "mushing" up so much that the kid never feels the consequences of intentionally being a nit-wit.
This has been an interesting thread to read.
No offense taken SK
.. I can only respond to the bold text in your quote. No offense to you ..
Do I think He IS loving and firm ? Absolutely .. that is not in question.
Girl needs to hit a brick walls from 'dad' ? Well .. now that gets into discussion of Female development at that age I would say. I have no clue myself on how to raise a Daughter. I would think its a little different then raising a son... or two
.
But I dont think I would upload a vid of me Shooting up my sons Wii,Xbox,Ds or Legos just because I have a communication problem with him.
Fact is that I was there when he came into this world. I knew when his diaper needed changing. Fact .. I knew when he was hungry..I knew when he wanted to be picked up and coddled and when he wanted to sleep. I knew when he wanted to play .. and when he wanted to play more because he was tired and didnt want to sleep .. I know when he wanted to learn 'more' ..and I know when he wanted to learn more about what he 'learned'..I know .. .. or at least I thought.
Has he become the puzzle Piece maker in his own Life now.. Its not me to change or to enforce .. but to help him get to his own. Sure I would not hesitate on grounding or some other ritual that protects my family from harm.. but Ultimately its not really what I want after they start running. Your just in the stands rooting them on
.
Im not sure that Parents are there to Mold there children. Sure parents try to protect .. but then the give too much too soon. This is the case now. Its a Raw mistake that this Father made with his daughter. Too much too soon.
Get rid of the the Crap and bring home the basics.
On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Peace .. YD
