Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

[Mel Taylor]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

Not so much on the boat (although I do have a short DNI list for that), but I have a house on Lake Novillo in Sonora, Mexico and I have a looooong DNI list for that.

We usually split food expenses and the wages of the local guy who cleans our fish, gasses the boats, etc. while each person brings his own booze. One guy brought a case of beer for each day he was there but suddenly discovered he was out of his blood pressure medicine and left a day early, while the rest of us were out fishing, without pitching in for the laborers wages and still owing for part of his share of the groceries. DNI list!

I once took a woman down with me for a week long trip, just the two of us in my truck and boat. I had been on a few dates with her and noticed she acted a little strange sometimes but didn't attach too much importance to it.

When we got to the house, after passing through Mexican Customs at the border, two Mexican Police roadblocks and a Mexican Military roadblock, I found she had smuggled A FULL OUNCE OF POT INTO MEXICO!

Good God! if they had caught us with that we would still be in jail there. And I shudder to think what would have happened if we had got caught trying to take it back into the U.S.

Neither of us were kids either. She was in her forties and I was in my fifties. So we couldn't very well plead youthful inexperience if we got caught.

As for the pot, well, I suspect there were some very happy fish in that lake the next morning. Instant DNI list and the Never, Ever, Date Again list.

Then there was the guy who managed to finagle way more than his share of the fish, and the one who got drunk and wanted to fight everyone there, and the one who made a pass at every Mexican woman he came in contact with, including our caretaker's daughter and so on.

All these things took place over a span of many years and were more than counter balanced by the guys who will always be welcome to go.

All in all it's only a few who cause the problems, but those few can sure turn a good trip into a not so good trip in a hurry sometimes.

 

[crackedglass]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

............
When we got to the house, after passing through Mexican Customs at the border, two Mexican Police roadblocks and a Mexican Military roadblock, I found she had smuggled A FULL OUNCE OF POT INTO MEXICO!

Good God! if they had caught us with that we would still be in jail there. And I shudder to think what would have happened if we had got caught trying to take it back into the U.S.

Neither of us were kids either. She was in her forties and I was in my fifties. So we couldn't very well plead youthful inexperience if we got caught.

As for the pot, well, I suspect there were some very happy fish in that lake the next morning. Instant DNI list and the Never, Ever, Date Again list...................

If that were me, she'd have been walking home from Mexico.

 

[crackedglass]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

Strippers and barmaids(better call them bartenders if you know what's good for you) shouldn't be classified the same at all.

I lived with a stripper on and off for 4 years when I was younger. Drugs and craziness where the norm. She was awesome to look at and awesome in the sack but a drama Llama otherwise.

There are MANY women who bartend who are normal, and great people. My wife and I where both servers and bartenders when we met. My wife is the most well balanced female I've ever met.

I spent over a decade working in bars, clubs, and managing several rather popular places, the one thing that blew me away was how far a young girl would go to get a minimum wage job. The offers and outfits were pretty unbelievable, and none of these places were strip clubs.

I can count on one hand how many of them were serious, down to earth, yet very attractive woman. The rest were serious head cases or thieves. Any 20 something woman that would offer to prostitute herself to guarantee a $5 per hour job has other motives or major issues otherwise.
I probably hired over 500 or so barmaids over that period, a certain few will always stand out, but for the wrong reasons. I loved the job, not so much the pay, but it sure was entertaining.

 

[MAXXIE]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

Crackedglass, I just read your story & the only thing I could think of was: This would be a great post if it had pictures! I carry one of those throw away waterproof camera's just in case something like that happens or in the event Loch ness shows up.

 

[skargo]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

I spent over a decade working in bars, clubs, and managing several rather popular places, the one thing that blew me away was how far a young girl would go to get a minimum wage job. The offers and outfits were pretty unbelievable, and none of these places were strip clubs.

I can count on one hand how many of them were serious, down to earth, yet very attractive woman. The rest were serious head cases or thieves. Any 20 something woman that would offer to prostitute herself to guarantee a $5 per hour job has other motives or major issues otherwise.
I probably hired over 500 or so barmaids over that period, a certain few will always stand out, but for the wrong reasons. I loved the job, not so much the pay, but it sure was entertaining.

Sounds like you attract the wackos, sorry about that. Having been in the business many years myself, in upscale, classy places, I know MORE well balanced barmaids(normal women hate that term BTW) than psycho ones like you've worked with apparently.

 

[supersizeme]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

Any people who can't show that there nautically-competent within an hour on my boat are on the DNI list.

My commands are simple such as

"could you untie the bumpers and store them under the seat"
"can you get up on the front of the boat (I don't way bow to people who I know have not owned a boat) and make sure it doesn't rub with the dock"
"sit down when theres wake"

I have one guy who knows nothing...can't follow and simple command what-so-ever the two times I brought him out powerboating and he keeps on bugging me to take him out sailing...hahaha.....sheet in, pole forward, tacking...just those thoughts of me telling him that make me cringe. To make matters worse, he stepped on my cabin hatch on my powerboat and shattered it...I can only imagine what he would be like on a keelboat.

 

[shrew]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

.....he stepped on my cabin hatch on my powerboat and shattered it....

I love the lack of common sense. They would never lean a ladder on a window on their house, but it doesn't occur to them to NOT step on the hatches on a boat. I have to remind every single non-boater when they go up on the deck.

"If it doesn't have non-skid on it, your feet don't belong there".

 

[skargo]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

Any people who can't show that there nautically-competent within an hour on my boat are on the DNI list.

My commands are simple such as

"could you untie the bumpers and store them under the seat"
"can you get up on the front of the boat (I don't way bow to people who I know have not owned a boat) and make sure it doesn't rub with the dock"
"sit down when theres wake"

I have one guy who knows nothing...can't follow and simple command what-so-ever the two times I brought him out powerboating and he keeps on bugging me to take him out sailing...hahaha.....sheet in, pole forward, tacking...just those thoughts of me telling him that make me cringe. To make matters worse, he stepped on my cabin hatch on my powerboat and shattered it...I can only imagine what he would be like on a keelboat.

Ummm, I'm not saying anything!

 

[45Auto]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

I don't see what's so funny, Skargo. If you were using bumpers instead of fenders on your boat, wouldn't you want to hide them under the seat so that all the nautically-competent boaters wouldn't be able to see that you didn't know the difference?

 

[dingbat]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

I don't have a "Never Invite Out Again" list.

Probably 90% of the people that beg to go out with me never mention the word boat again upon their return so I keep a "They want to go again" list.

You would be amazed at the number of people that get greener than grass once they're out of sight of land. Throw in some 90 degree heat, a little chop, and they usally don't last long.

 

[bruceb58]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

And I would never have anyone on the bow to hold off the boat..that's what bumpers....uhmm fenders are for!

 

[skargo]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

I don't see what's so funny, Skargo. If you were using bumpers instead of fenders on your boat, wouldn't you want to hide them under the seat so that all the nautically-competent boaters wouldn't be able to see that you didn't know the difference?

Like I said, I'm not saying ANYTHING hehehehehe

 

[imported_Skippy]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

The tales you guys tell have really struck a chord in my old memories:

 

[skargo]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Now THAT was a story worthy of a lot of typing, little Roger is my hero!

 

[45Auto]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

It would have been better with pictures, even if they were recent ones used just as examples of what he and Roger saw ......

 

[Thad]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Now THAT was a story worthy of a lot of typing, little Roger is my hero!

Agreed, I could not stop reading it.

 

[seabob4]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

whoa...

 

[RogersJetboat454]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

"It would have been better with pictures, even if they were recent ones used just as examples of what he and Roger saw ......"

LMAO!!!! Yeah, I'm really having a hard time picturing this, any example pic's would be great.

I would have expected your son to report "I saw Roger the other day. He was morbidly obese, and had an unhealthy fascination with pornography."

 

[korygrandy]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

I have a DO-INVITE and my judgement got the better of me over 4th of July. 2 22yr old girls wanted to come on my boat (i'm 29). I say sure you can come out tomorrow when the weather is nice. I fed these girls some liquor and watched there true colors (and body parts) shine. After witnessing there upstanding mannerisms and actions...I came to the conclusion my girlfriend would never want to meet these young ladies.

One of them left her "stripper sandals" on the roof after a night of boozin, and fornicating (yes on a ROOF). She went to retrieve her sandals (using the truck as a ladder), jumped at the roof, slipped, ripped the gutter down and put a massive ***-print in the windshield of the truck.

I DO have pics, but they are definitely R-rated. PM me if interested (I don't mind sharing the love).

Someone mentioned "people think boating=getting drunk on a boat" I used to think this...alcohol is to blame for me becoming a boater. I quit drinking 5 months ago, got bored, bought a boat and now am LOVING a sober life as a boater!

 

[mia9516]

Re: Do you have a "Never Invite Out Again" List?

I guess me being younger and my friends as well, they don't understand the whole chip in for gas idea. Yeah I know if I invite someone to go out on my boat then I should pay, I get that. Well I have friends that can't manage moeny as well as my wife and I do or they just spend it all on booze. So I have, well lets just call them, "persons" that liek to invite themselves onto our boat to the lake they would like to go to. I am happy to go out and have fun but when it comes to the awkward time of filling up AGAIN them always seem to talk a long time at the RR or in the store. I understand if i can't affroad the gas or the up keep I shouldn't play, but when they state in the convo. leading up to the weekend they got half the gas I believe them. So needless to say they had their one "free" ride.

I know what you mean brotha. We took a trip out to the lake a while back with the friends and family. The agreement was that everyone kicks in for gas, whatever they can afford that is. So some people kick in $20, others $40. So my buddy's g/f is with us, he's currently on deployment, and guess who the only one who doesn't kick in? Yup you guessed it. When it was time to get gas, she was like "I need to hit up the ATM"? All while being accross the street from said ATM. Lame! The thing that kills me is that this girl is ALWAYS broke but yet she makes about $2000 a month and has no bills and doesn't pay rent. My buddy foots the bill for most of the utilities. So I'm wondering WTF? How can you have money for weed but no money for gas? Oh and by the way, no one twisted her arm to go on this trip. She's definitely on the list but somehow keeps gettting invited by my wife Oh well...