The past haunted me today

[12Footer]

Re: The past haunted me today

I was a huge Dr Laura fan, but they took her off locally ,over two years ago.<br />She was morally,intelectually, idoelogically and medically brilliant, and she has a set of iron clad ones to boot. I sure miss her wisdom, even tho her answers were at many times predictable.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: The past haunted me today

Thanks for the ideas, it is greatly appreaciated.<br />It is just hard to be friendly with someone when you know deep down that they can't stand you. This is the way it has been with Art. <br /><br />My wifes brother visited earlier. He is good friends with my wifes ex. He told me that her ex got into an argument with Art at christmas time. They had asked him what he wanted for Christmas. He told Art that he would like for him to make an attempt on paying back the $2500 that they owe him. It turns out that they didn't get him anything or have visited him since. Sure seems like Art gets mad or upset when someone asks about getting paid back.<br /><br />My BIL said that is why Art called me the other day. Apparently he needs money for bills and doesn't know where to get it. I told my BIL that he needs to get his money like everyone else, YOU WORK FOR IT! It just figures since Art comes from a welfare family of many years that he looks for handouts without thinking about paying them back.<br /><br />I just find it very very hard to make peace with someone that you know hates you (because he has told other family members this). From knowing what has transpired with my wifes ex helping them out tells me that he is only wanting peace for the sake of handouts. Sorry, but with my wife going to school and us trying to get started on putting back for retirement, we just can't help anymore. She and I need to think for our own future without any help. Right now we have helped so many of our other children, we don't have anything saved at all. I wish God would help me say NO without any guilty feelings.

 

[SoulWinner]

Re: The past haunted me today

For the sake of a future relationship with your daughter, make peice without giving them handouts. This is one situation where the high divorce rates may play to your favor. Odds are good that her relationship with Art wont last. So if you can maintain a relationship with her now....well, you get the picture.<br /><br />For the record, i have never good at getting along with someone who doesn't like me. I wish the best with this situation.

 

[oddjob]

Re: The past haunted me today

SS the no's become easier as you go along....the folks recieving the no's will also improve on recieving them. From this day forward...."no is the answer! what is the question?"....Art!...

 

[roscoe]

Re: The past haunted me today

You've been trying for four years.<br />He/they have made the decisions not to behave.<br />You do not have to accept what you don't want to, or what will be bad for you and your wife.<br /><br />If the daughter wants to be a social part of the family, she knows your ground rules. If she can't abide by them, it is her choice. You do not have to give your blessing for her choice in a man, nor should you if you believe it is a very bad choice.<br /><br />You are being principled, not stubborn.<br />Character matters, past behavior matters.<br /><br />If we would all buckle when it came to principles, character, integrity, etc, we would all be named Bill Clinton.

 

[12Footer]

Re: The past haunted me today

I'll never for the rest of my life, figure-out the magnetism of low-life,scummy,dirt bag men, to the opposite sex. There is a gravitation to them. I do not understand it, but girls just do tho. If there is anyone here that can explain that attraction to me without derailing this thread too much? I would appreciate it. I can't count the number of women I can name, who have been drawn-into abusive relationships with male derelicts! Some of these women are family, others are friends--still others, aquaintences. But there are gobs of them!<br />What's the deal?

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: The past haunted me today

12footer, I know what you mean. BTW you described him better than me. It baffles me that women even meet men in prison, write to them, and then even marry them while they are in prison. I don't understand that at all. <br /><br />My daughter had several boyfriends from decent families. Just must be that bad boy image that some women prefer. <br /><br />Most of the time I think the scum bags do what a honest, hard working, and good citizen doesn't do. And that my friend is lie there butt off to them just to get what they want. Art is real good at setting up false stories to obtain what he wants all the time.

 

[LadyFish]

Re: The past haunted me today

I'll take a stab at your question 12footer.<br /><br />It's been my observation that most of these women are codependant and lack self esteem. I'm not saying that this is the case here. <br /><br />There is also the intrigue and excitement associated with 'bad boys' and the fact that they take control and lead, even if it is in the wrong direction. Maybe they see this as a sign of strength. Some women find nice guys boring, little do they know.<br /><br />I've had friends who always chose the wrong men and I guarantee they attract them like a magnet and visa versa.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: The past haunted me today

I agree with ya LF! I can remember when men once threw themselves at women, now it seems the other way around.<br /><br />Today is going to be great. Jeff is my good SIL, he is going with me today to help the community get the downed trees off houses of the seniors. There is still about 20K people without electric. Last Wednesdays Ice storm dropped thousands of trees on houses and power lines. Another mess from mother nature.<br /><br />Found out a bit ago Art is furious because he knows I need the help and he needs the money. However I haven't told them yet that since I'm doing this for the seniors, I'm doing it for FREE!

 

[OLDSPUD]

Re: The past haunted me today

Interesting that the the idea of good girls sometimes go for bad guys, ever thought about the flip side of this, seems like the opposite is true. ****ty girls somehow have always been able to attract good guys, anyway off topic.<br /><br />This guy seems to be a real piece, one day the step daughter will probably come around, in any case I agree with you and life will go on. Many cases in my and my families life where we have been wronged, my son was sexually abused when he was 7, he's now 17 and hooked on weed, have to clear your heart of revenge and hatred, hard to do when lives still have efffects from others long ago. I can honstly say I hold no hatred for anyone (maybe liberals, just kidding).<br /><br />Guess I'm trying to say, this POS can only affect you as much as you let him.<br /><br />Life is full of this stuff, I've learned from hard lessons to let things go.<br />Good luck and God will bless you, seems like your a good guy.<br />Spud