I don't get it.....

[Limited-Time]

After reading the responses in the borrow/lend threads I am surprised at the number of "its mine and no one but me will ever use it" type attitudes.
I guess I was raised different, and hang with a different crowd. When the chance arises to help a friend of family member by loaning them my boat, bike, snowmobile, truck, tools..............whatever I do it willingly.
I was on vacation recently where a cousin lent me his bike to run around on for the week. Handed me the keys when I walked into his house. He knows if he ever comes to visit he has access to my home, boat, bike whatever. Don't get me wrong there are people I wont lend advise to. But true friends and family not a problem.

 

[emoney]

Re: I don't get it.....

pssshewww....I thought I was the "odd man out" there for a little while.

Here, Here!

 

[Red_BOFUS]

Re: I don't get it.....

I think the true issue is not everyone has the ame values and goals as you or we do.

I love helping people out, but hate being hung out.

I work too damned hard to buy things for my family to enjoy to lend to others for them to mess up and walk away as if they are not respobsible.

 

[dbkerley]

Re: I don't get it.....

I think the truer answer lies in those that didn't respond.

 

[eclark53520]

Re: I don't get it.....

I think the true issue is not everyone has the ame values and goals as you or we do.

I love helping people out, but hate being hung out.

I work too damned hard to buy things for my family to enjoy to lend to others for them to mess up and walk away as if they are not respobsible.

+1

I have no problem helping people out. I will gladly take family/friends/even strangers/acquaintances out on the boat for a day/weekend, and there are a few i would let borrow the boat outright.

However, i know most of my family very well, and i know most of them would do something stupid(break, wreck, sink, etc) and walk away like nothing happened. They would scoff at the idea of replacing what they destroyed out of their own pocket. They wouldn't even think about filling the tank back up. It's his boat, he should have to replace it...would be their thoughts on the whole situation. No one in my family besides me and my uncle know anything about boating. They have no place on the water.

Its more about specific families than it is about people not wanting to help others. Most of my family, like i said, are screw ups and would rob their own mother if she had anything left they wanted.

I don't know about you, but i can't afford to just buy another boat because someone wrecked mine. I personally won't borrow anything i can't replace if it is wrecked while in my possession. Any time i borrow a vehicle(very rarely), no matter how full the tank was when i borrowed it, it will come back to the owner with a full tank and probably washed and cleaned out on the inside.

 

[DJ]

Re: I don't get it.....

Why?

We have so many in home entertainment options that we have no need to actually venture out and talk to anyone. I cringe at people "texting". I've seen people, sitting at a lunch table, not talking but "texing" each other-across the table! Secret messages, I suspect. It is BS.

I've called them on it and, usually, to their embarrasment, they stopped.

As far as lending goes, FORGET IT. Our litigious society has determined that no one is responsible for what they do. "Lending" opens one up for far too many (legal) scenarios that are frightening.

Right or wrong, if you are "Named" that is a minimum of three years in legal oblivion.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: I don't get it.....

+1

I have no problem helping people out. I will gladly take family/friends/even strangers/acquaintances out on the boat for a day/weekend, and there are a few i would let borrow the boat outright.

However, i know most of my family very well, and i know most of them would do something stupid(break, wreck, sink, etc) and walk away like nothing happened. They would scoff at the idea of replacing what they destroyed out of their own pocket. They wouldn't even think about filling the tank back up. It's his boat, he should have to replace it...would be their thoughts on the whole situation. No one in my family besides me and my uncle know anything about boating. They have no place on the water.

Its more about specific families than it is about people not wanting to help others. Most of my family, like i said, are screw ups and would rob their own mother if she had anything left they wanted.

I don't know about you, but i can't afford to just buy another boat because someone wrecked mine. I personally won't borrow anything i can't replace if it is wrecked while in my possession. Any time i borrow a vehicle(very rarely), no matter how full the tank was when i borrowed it, it will come back to the owner with a full tank and probably washed and cleaned out on the inside.

Like I said must have been raised different. And got lucky and ended up with friends with like upbringings.

 

[dbkerley]

Re: I don't get it.....

Legal - good point. I try not to hang around those people.

 

[DJ]

Re: I don't get it.....

Legal - good point. I try not to hang around those people.

Those people are ALL people. You/ME included.


SAD!

 

[eclark53520]

Re: I don't get it.....

Like I said must have been raised different. And got lucky and ended up with friends with like upbringings.

I was raised mainly by my parents neighbor who gave me a key to his Ford F350 turbo Diesel when i was 17. My uncle basically let me borrow any piece of equipment on his farm and gave me free roam of the farm for hunting. These two guys, have full access to anything i own, anything i can do to help them i do.

I will help anyone that will not use me just because i'm willing to help. I'll give the shirt off my back if someone really needs it. No one needs to borrow my boat. Helping and getting dumped on are two different things.

My friends are good respectable people, I can pick my friends, i don't have a choice with my family.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: I don't get it.....

Those people are ALL people. You/ME included.


SAD!

Just because you perceive it, doesn't make it so. And if that's the kind of people you choose to surround yourself with it............it is indeed SAD.

 

[korygrandy]

Re: I don't get it.....

I feel it's all the people you surround yourselves with. I have a friend who is real artsy, emotional, and forgettful...he would not borrow the boat.

My buddy Dan...this guy will bust knuckles right alongside me working on anything under the sun. We get along very well and have a lot in common...I would let him borrow it.

Then there is the other friends who couldn't take responsibility for taking a breath of fresh air... they would never borrow the boat. These seem to be the lawyer-up type personalities.

I don't have the me me me attitude but I've been taken advantage of in the past and no longer allow this to happen. Every nowandthen I get burned...but it's usually preventable.

I give people just enough rope so they can hang themselves. In fact...that might make it to my iBoats signuture...unless it's taken already.

 

[Red_BOFUS]

Re: I don't get it.....

Like I said must have been raised different. And got lucky and ended up with friends with like upbringings.

Aren?t you a little over judging there?

My friend and I (I am one who have five friends and many people I know.) we spent 18 months in the sand box together, another 14 in Africa and a number of other little mud puddles around the globe and I?d give them my heart if they needed.

But, we also understand men and toys.

My best friend and spotter, who I can tell what he is thinking before he does; has a Springer that he saved to buy in the war. As much as I?d love to try it out, I know not to even ask.

If someone allows me the opportunity to ride their bike, I repay in kind. I don?t ask and do not seek it out.

BOFUS is not the newest or best boat out there, but she is mine I work on her, I wash her and I tend to her needs. So, as I am with my daughters I am a little hesitant to let it out of my sight in anyone else?s hands.

I tell my oldest daughters boyfriends ?Where ever you put your hands on her, I will put my hands on you. I got a shovel, 300 acres and enough documented PTSD to spend a few months with the VA and walk away a freeman? It is harsh but how it is.

As for my family, my dad?s side I?d loan it if they asked but our grandfather who worked in the coal mines from age 10 up taught us all not to borrow at all.

My mother?s side, I?d not even think of it. Their view is I have it all and got plenty of cash to replace it if they break it. I?ve experienced it and didn?t enjoy it.

So judge as you will, but never having meet me, broken bread with me or worked along side me; you only sell me and yourself short.

 

[huntndakota]

Re: I don't get it.....

As stated above it does depend on the situation and the person who asked. I am also one who will give everything to family and one close friend if they need it. Needing it and not wanting it is were I draw the line. I have busted my butt to buy the "toys" I have so I think twice about loaning it out. On the other hand I don't hardly ever ask to borrow anything from anybody unless I truly need it immediatly. I never borrow just for my fun!

 

[Beefer]

Re: I don't get it.....

"never a borrower or a lender be..."

My mom taught me that. I try and live by it. I have no debt. I have an old boat. I have nice cars. I have all the titles.

In the times that I have lent things to others (tools mostly), more than half the time I never saw the item again. On the rare occasion I borrow something, it's brough back faster then expected, and cleaned up/filled up/replaced (consumables).

As eclark53520 said;

No one needs to borrow my boat.

And I don't need to lend it. Besides, all the little idiosyncrasy's on a boat couldn't be explained/taught before the boat is borrowed.

But yer own dang boat! I did!

 

[Kiwi Phil]

Re: I don't get it.....

After reading the responses in the borrow/lend threads I am surprised at the number of "its mine and no one but me will ever use it" type attitudes.
I guess I was raised different, and hang with a different crowd. When the chance arises to help a friend of family member by loaning them my boat, bike, snowmobile, truck, tools..............whatever I do it willingly.
I was on vacation recently where a cousin lent me his bike to run around on for the week. Handed me the keys when I walked into his house. He knows if he ever comes to visit he has access to my home, boat, bike whatever. Don't get me wrong there are people I wont lend advise to. But true friends and family not a problem.

I got to go along with you, keeping in mind "your last sentence".

Cheers
Phillip

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: I don't get it.....

Aren?t you a little over judging there?
...............................................................................................
So judge as you will, but never having meet me, broken bread with me or worked along side me; you only sell me and yourself short.

Not meant to be judgmental, just trying to understand.

 

[JB]

Re: I don't get it.....

I don't believe the "all or nothing" claims above.

I do believe that there are people you would lend your first born to and others that you wouldn't lend the time of day. I would lend DJ my heart and expect that he would do the same for me.

That is how I am and I don't think I am all that different from all of you.

I catch heck from my family for "lending" money to people who I know really need it and have no way to repay it. Most of the time they don't ask. . . I ask them what it would take to get a particular problem out of the way, be it getting the power turned back on, avoiding repossession or foreclosure or feeding the children.

On the other hand I refused to bail an acquaintance out of the slammer after he blew his paycheck getting blasted and tried to drive home. . . hit a car full of teens and hurt several.

I am the same way with my "stuff". If I am willing to give it to you here are the keys; if not, you walk.

It isn't complicated. It is where your heart is.

 

[Vlad D Impeller]

Re: I don't get it.....

There are a lot of decent and goodhearted people in this world, unfortunately there are a great deal more greedy, selfish and obnoxious people in this world.
The great tragedy is, they are breeding in record numbers.

 

[Cofe]

Re: I don't get it.....

Limited-Time hit the nail on the head when he said "But true friends and family not a problem."

Many people do not have what you call Real True Freinds, and as far as some people's family members go......well.....there is room for improvement. To have both Real True Freinds, and Real True Family is a blessing few experience. Sad to say.