Re: How I Ruined Easter
Wow - I never expected all the responses and I really appreciate all the thoughtful observations. You guys are great and I appreciate the support, and even the odd challenge that's been posted. We all know these kinds of threads are "he said, she said" affairs where you don't get the benefit of the "she said" part. I could certainly be painting things in a certain light to make my side look rosy but am honestly trying to present a balance view. Not that you can validate that.
Just to address a couple of things...
Regarding putting my own kid in harm's way - yeah I need to own that one. Fact is, though he had been getting progressively closer with the little monster over the past several visits. Despite how much I hate the thing, my son really wants to be his friend and I thought had been starting to win the dog over. They went from leashing him most of the time to not having to that much. Yesterday was a complete throwback to behaviour of a year ago or more, and it caught me off guard. Doesn't look good on me, I'll admit. I had basically been lulled into a sense that the issue was going away and had no real excuse for letting my guard down.
Regarding just beating the dog myself just as many of you would have jumped to do. Again, yep - I think I was letting my FIL and MIL off easy these years with their dogs. Why say it when I could have just hoofed it. Of course the other option of is to tell them we aren't coming around any more til they do something concrete about the situation. We had to resort to that ten years ago over an issue my wife had with her mom which I won't bore you with. Upshot was though we didn't see or talk to them for almost three years before giving them another chance (due to being pregnant with our first kid and deciding we'd try a fresh start). The woman was on her absolute best behaviour for a good five years straight after that hiatus...
As for the possible medical issues - that's an interesting one I hadn't thought of. My MIL was just saying to us quietly recently that she thinks he's having memory problems. Now, she's a bit off herself so I wasn't totally giving it 100 percent credence but will pay much more attention now.
On the kid vs dog issue - I don't think it's a case of making a rational choice becuase choosing the dog just isn't rational. I think rather he knows in his heart this will be another dog down the drain, maybe sooner than not. Bubba mentioned maybe he likes the dog that way or specifically opted to cultivate an unfriendly dog to keep neighbours at bay but that isn't it. I think it's more avoiding the tough discipline when for the most part those two are alone together and there isn't any need. That's coming to an end, though. My wife's sister lives overseas but is coming home this summer with her two year-old girl to stay and I think he's getting worried about that. The nipping is relatively new which is a bad sign the dog is getting comfortable with physical attack. Granted the thing's jaws open all of four inches, but still - more than enough to do devastating damage to a toddler.
My FIL has never been a terribly talkative guy when it comes to how he feels and his default for emotional distress has traditionally been to turn into a first class a-hole. My wife tells me had I followed him out to the car to press the point, I probably would have got myself decked. She's seen it before but not since she was a kid. It was such a surprise to me because he and I have traditionally been on the same page, no matter what the issue. I also agree he probably feels about 3 inches tall by now.
As for updates - well what I neglected to mention was the occasion was a combined Easter and birthday celebration, for me. After the explosion I caught a glimpse of my wife over in the kitchen shoving the birthday cake back into the fridge. Then I had to sit through her mother trying to give me a birthday present. How sureal.
Anyway - no contact from him yet and I'm not thinking I'll get any for a while. I'm also trying to figure out if that apology note was premature. Yes, I can see how what I said was disrespectful, but I think I'm more p'd off now that I was last week. I do think it will get patched up eventually - and my MIL called to say she was going to speak to her vet about obedience training, however, the dog is his and if he's not buying into the plan, I don't know how successful this will be.
Anyway - thanks again - I'll update when there is one.
