How I Ruined Easter

[ezmobee]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

There's a reason why they use them in Law-enforcement.

You'll never guess by brother-in-law's occupation

 

[fat fanny]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I have to agre grandpa was a little out of line. But pets are what they are and should never threaten children (unless provked) I once had a sharpai 65lbs and had him for one reason and one reason only I worked nights and my wife and now 23 yrold son were home alone and believe you me that knowone could come to our house after I left for work PERIOD!!! not even my DAD he protected what was mine and hold dear with his life. That dog loved my son and wife with a passion and they always felt safe when I wasn't there.

 

[JB]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I don't see this as a people problem at all. No dog ever got a second chance to attack my child. Only one tried. I got my neighbor a replacement pup.

 

[infideltarget]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

Lovely Wife and I are always on the same page it seems, and this one is no different. We have a 69lb Boxer. We love him, and so do the kids. But make no mistake...if he were to EVER show aggression towards my kids, or anyone else's, he would go away. Permanently. Quickly. Like...right then. Dispose of the body later.

I have been in the OP's situation more times than I care to remember, with various family member's "pets". The "pet" never wins. We have been asked to leave homes before due to this, but I will simply not tolerate my girls being harrassed by a "pet". When I first started dating Lovely Wife (she was Lovely Girlfriend then), her parents had a ****zu named Barney. This little rug had come from a bad home, and wandered into the future in-laws' lives, and they (her dad actually) kept him. This dog was insane. Every time I went over there, he would growl and bark, and try to bite me. I put up with it...I was, after all...boinking Lovely Girlfriend, and didn't want to **** off her dad too much. One day...after years of putting up with this stupid mutt, I got my revenge. Barney had become ill, and was taken to the vet. The vet said he should be put down. This upset her dad (now my FIL)...surprisingly more than any of us anticipated. He couldn't do it. This man was career Military, was a Drill Instructor, and a tank commander. He asked me if I would please put Barney out of his misery. Since my mom had owned and operated a kennel for many years, and always had animals of all kinds around, I was quite experienced at "puttin down" sick animals, and had somehow become the "go-to" guy when anyone in the family needed this service. Anyway...I jumped, a little too eagerly I might add...at this chance. We took him out to my land in the country, and out to my target range. I emptied the clip from my S&W 9mm...and put in the next one. My FIL was standing beside me, giving me this "holy crap" look as I reloaded, and he asked me if I thought maybe that one was enough. I unloaded the next clip into that little bas**rd. My FIL shook his head, started laughing and said "you really hated that dog, huh?". Yep I did.

Point being...the OP is absolutely in the right, and should not have even written the apology note, unless wifey had cut him off otherwise.

 

[j_martin]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

Title is wrong. It should be "Grandpa Needs to Grow Up."

 

[MTboatguy]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I know what would have happened in my family, because it happened in my family when my daughter was 3 years old, she is now 26 and the dog is nothing more than a vague memory..of course my FIL and I did not speak for while after it happened! One thing I will not tolerate is a yapping aggressive dog, my sister keeps those little barking yipping chihuahuas and she knows to put them up when I come to her house. The dog in my avatar was my buddy, but two days after I rescued her, she bit me on the calf and if the gun had not jammed, she would not be my avatar, when she learned who the Alpha was, she turned out to a great dog for 13 years and I was heartbroken when she went down. That is just one thing, I will not stand for!

 

[ajgraz]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

Agreed gotta show the dog who's boss. Got a male cairn terrier puppy some years ago because our female lab mix needed a boss (she's just that kind of submissive). Terrier pup bit me hard on the *** once when I bent over for something. I beat that pup silly, and it has been awesome with all people ever since.

 

[MTboatguy]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

Just to add, I have never beat an animal, there is only two ways to go for me, either it is a good animal or it is a gone animal, I have no desire to inflict pain, but I don't have any problem doing what has to be done..

 

[Kiwi Phil]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

The way I see it, you may well have handled the situation better than you give yourself credit for, by leaving the 'note'.
That puts the ball back in his court and my guess is, he has 1 of 3 directions he can take.

1. He can apologize, and suggest he lock his pooch up in the woodshed when you and the kids visit - well some thing like that anyway - and everyone is going to be happy.
2. He can tell you he has destroyed the dog - which I guess is disposing of a problem he has and shifting the blame to you.
3. He can just ignore you and carry on the way he is - and you can lump it or like it.

As you said, he has been good to you for 2 decades, and just maybe his life is changing - as in a changing of the guard - and he may not be handling it too well.
He may never have seen you as a person to challenge him - and you have - and that is life - that's the way the circle goes.
It is his dog, it is his home, and it is the dogs home too, and he obviously has no issues with his situation when you are not there.
But going by your post, you have kept your bottle (cool I think you call it!).
So may I suggest you try and stop feeling so hurt, and prepare yourself for dealing with what may come from him, in a mature and reasonable manner.
You are in the right, and there are simple sensible solutions to this issue, and you may well have to be the one to suggest or initiate them.
Good luck, and remember, you are right.

Cheers
Phillip

 

[Rodent]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I'd say you are 100% in the right.

I had the same issue with my father a couple years ago. My parents had seven small dogs, all dachshund-chihuahua mixes. Every time I brought my son over, he would have to sit on the couch, completely quiet. If he moved or made a noise, the dogs would freak out. It got to the point that once he was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and he dropped his sippy cup. One of the dogs freaked out and attacked him. My Dad stormed into the room furious, yelling at my son, and acting like he was about to hit him. I kicked the dog, told my father to frack off, picked my son up and left. My Mom still defends my father saying "Oh, their like family to him", hope he loves those dogs because he lost his grandchildren. It's BS, they are dogs, grandchildren come before animals period. I'm not going to have my child being treated second rate to a dog.

I don't bring my children over there anymore. It was half a year before I even spoke with him after that.

I have two dogs myself. A puggle (purebred pug-beagle mix) and a dachshund mutt.
Best behaved dogs ever. No growling, no stealing human food, no peeing on the floor.

 

[Tim Frank]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I never comment in threads like this...as a rule. 1) The ground has usually been well-covered, 2) there generally is nothing new to say, and 3) it really is none of my business.

BUT, (who didn't see that but coming?) there is something that has not been mentioned in the rush to sort out the dog.
If this was as unusual an outburst as it sounds....and is not something that has happened before (if it is a common occurrance see 3) above) and you don't mention your FIL's age, but from clues in the OP, I'd guess 60+, be alert to the possibility of something more insidious being in play.

This kind of behavior (if a significant departure from the norm) can be an early symptom of a number of dementia-type diseases of the brain.
The dog may be the least of the issues.

 

[drrpm]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

It sounds like FIL could use a medical check up .

 

[eastont]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

Been down that road many times....how much alcohol was involved, and I don't mean you. I stopped attending any functions ay my in-laws after 10 years of the same thing. Something said by someone that was never too nasty, but the situation turned very nasty and all because of alcohol. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink, but in our family it does not affect in any negative way. Just makes for some funny situations, like having the roast beef served on a platter with a cigarette butted on the end.

Just my opinion/...

 

[Bigprairie1]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

You are completely in the 'right' in this situation.
You're Father in law has some sort of a problem to allow an animal to intimidate, scare and possibly bite or attack his grandchildren.
Don't back down on where you are at with the dogs. If he can't handle them or doesn't quarantine them....no problem, that's his choice. Not seeing his family and particularly his grandkids ever again....at his place is....again, is his choice.
Hopefully you are going to see a very different situation (in a positive way) with your father in law next time....at least once he has had a chance to think about it.
Good Luck and hang in there.
BP
ps: If an animal is around that I perceive as a possible threat to me or my family I make it immediately known to the owner what I will do if the animal turns aggressive and I do this before any incident. Usually, the direct assertion of this compels the owner to quarantine or leash the dog because luckily....they do suddenly think about the consequences.

 

[ezbtr]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I would have absolutely knocked the crap out of that dog, especially as this is an ongoing thing? Does grandpa not see what a danger there is to his grandson?? Gramps is wayyyyy in the wrong, he should have had that dog under control a long time ago. I would not take my kids back until the dog was behaved (as well as Gramps), or gone, period. And I would tell all why as well.

 

[204 Escape]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I don't see as you ruined anythng. I looked for 3 years for a English Springer Spaniel, that I wanted. Found him, had him 2 weeks, my son who was 9 at the time was setting on the floor, the dog was laying there on his side. (The dog was awake). My son reached over to pet him, and the dog bit him !!! To my knowledge the boy NEVER had hurt or teased the dog. Bottom line. The dog became a cadiver for the local college. I had him put down !!!! (At the vets office). I have a NO tolerance rule for dogs that snap, bite, OR growl at my kids.

P.S. We've had alot of dogs. This was the only one that had a problem. I'm not saying my kids are perfect, BUT, it's the only one to ever bit !!!!!!!!

 

[scipper77]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

I didn't read through all of the responces but here's my opinion...

Dogs that nip when they are startled or feel threatened are only demonstrating normal behavior. Dogs that show aggressiveness like was described need to be kept away from children. Dogs that bite people need to be put down, period. Snapping when threatened = normal and should be disciplined. Biting/attacking = dead dog.

As far as the whole family argument aspect, you were in his house and it is his dog. The appropriate action as far as I am concerned is to refuse to bring your children anywhere near that dog. Not to be spiteful, but for there well being. Telling your father in law how to deal with his dog is just downright disrespectful. It shows that you don't think he is a competent dog owner. Even if you are right it is disrespectful.

 

[cgd7777777]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

WOW I cant believe sombody would ruin a weekend/holiday over a STUPID dog!
Sounds lil the FIL cares more about the dog.
I still don't get the obsesion and excusses people make for their dogs
People let dogs run their lives....my sister has 3 yappers and everything revolves arround them..I will not get up at 3 in the morning to leta dog out to the bathroom i hated havingto getup with my kids when they were babies much less a dog that has no purpose.
Instead of saying anything you should have kicked himin the teeth he can't tell on you!

 

[2000silvers2k]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

nothing really to add here, everyone has basically summed up the same feelings I have. although i do not feel it is right to kick or be violent to the dog. its not his fault he was never trained properly. a little verbal threatening can go a long way tho.

This easter my 2 year old god-daughter was was hand feeding my 75 pound chocolate lab his dog food out of his dog bowl with her hands which were semi closed. he was so gentle and good with her it simply amazed everyone in the room. thats how a family pet should behave! not by luck tho, good breeding and training goes a long ways

 

[infideltarget]

Re: How I Ruined Easter

Hmmm, I disagree. I live on my farm with a large dog that absolutely will bite if he believes there is good reason. You will not want to try stealing gas from my barrel at night or give my wife "attitude" while he is around. Friends and family that have a problem with that would do well to not come on the farm. Something our 34 year old son was reminded of this last year when he was visting and got loud in an argument with his mother and the dog laid his ears back and gave him the one and only warning growl he would get.

No he didn't like it, but he accepted it. (His other altenative was to leave.)

That is a different scenario, Bubba. That dog was doing his job as protector of his pack. My Boxer is the same way. Just a big baby, until you threaten my wife or kids. Somehow he knows the difference. Maybe he senses the fear that comes from being threatened or something. I dont know. If my Boxer were to get ahold of someone for getting in my family's faces, I would let him do his job. The would be aggressor would NOT like it, I assure you. He is 69lbs of pure ripped muscle, and big sharp teeth, but my 7 year old daughter can dress him up in her clothes, or ride him like a horse, and he is content. These are different scenarios from what the OP described. If I were to find our Boxer cornering a child in our home, or acting aggressively to a child for no apparent reason, he would go away. Plain and simple.