Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

[GodsBeast]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

SS Mayfloat, Don't watch "Head Cleaner" I have that Porno myself, the lighting was too bright, and you can't see any action. They also must have had a bad tape in, because you just get little lines every now and then. There also isn't a lot of tape in it, so you won't be bored that long. <br /><br />SS, I laughed my rear off at that one......

 

[Dunaruna]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Can't go wrong if you use the KISS principle.<br /><br />

<br /><br />Aldo

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Just use my ol stand by, it works everytime.<br />______________________________________________<br /> Collards is green,<br /> My dog's name is Blue<br /> And I'm so lucky<br /> To have a sweet thang like you.<br /><br /> Yore hair is like cornsilk<br /> A-flapping in the breeze.<br /> Softer than Blue's<br /> And without all them fleas.<br /><br /> You move like the bass,<br /> Which excite me in May.<br /> You ain't got no scales<br /> But I luv you anyway.<br /><br /> Yo're as satisfy'n as okry<br /> Jist a-fry'n in the pan.<br /> Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"<br /> Right out of the can.<br /><br /> You have some'a yore teeth,<br /> For which I am proud;<br /> I hold my head high<br /> When we're in a crowd.<br /><br /> On special occasions,<br /> When you shave under yore arms,<br /> Well, I'm in hawg heaven,<br /> And awed by yore charms.<br /><br /> Still them fellers at work,<br /> They all want to know,<br /> What I did to deserve<br /> Such a purdy, young doe.<br /><br /> Like a good roll of duct tape<br /> Yo're there fer yore man,<br /> To patch up life's troubles<br /> And fix what you can.<br /><br /> Yo're as cute as a junebug<br /> A-buzzin' overhead.<br /> You ain't mean like those far ants<br /> I found in my bed.<br /><br /> Cut from the best cloth<br /> Like a plaid flannel shirt,<br /> You spark up my life<br /> More than a fresh load of dirt.<br /><br /> When you hold me real tight<br /> Like a padded gunrack,<br /> My life is complete;<br /> Ain't nuttin' I lack.<br /><br /> Yore complexion, it's perfection,<br /> Like the best vinyl sidin'.<br /> Despite all the years,<br /> Yore age, it keeps hidin'.<br /><br /> Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie<br /> With a RC cold drank,<br /> We go together<br /> Like a skunk goes with stank.<br /><br /> Some men, they buy chocolate<br /> For Valentine's Day;<br /> They git it at Wal-Mart,<br /> It's romantic that way.<br /><br /> Some men git roses<br /> On that special day<br /> From the cooler at Kroger.<br /> That's impressive," I say.<br /><br /> Some men buy fine diamonds<br /> From a flea market booth.<br /> "Diamonds are forever,"<br /> They explain, suave and couth.<br /><br /> But for this man, honey,<br /> These won't do.<br /> Cause yore too special,<br /> You sweet thang you.<br /><br /> I got you a gift,<br /> Without taste nor odor,<br /> More useful than diamonds......<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />..<br /><br />..<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />..<br />.<br />IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!! <br /><br />Will work, try it and see.

 

[POINTER94]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Sangerwaker,<br /><br />Nope no Cub nearby. Got a Woodmans though. Gave her an engagement ring last year. Can't do that again this year for a bunch of reasons. Well its 12 midnight, and I am going to sneak out right now and clean her car. The lines at the car washes have been 10 deep. <br /><br />Hope she appreciates a little lean stuff and a nice card and realizes what a fun and terrific person I am and how lucky.)(*^$$#@^&*&^^$*^$.....<br /><br />Well its the best I can do and hopefully she can appreciate that the sacrifices are for our future.

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Good job Pointer...keep it simple and heartfelt.

 

[MrBill]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

I got my wife a New England Patriots Super Bowl Championship sweatshirt and matching hat...so that next year she can get in the mood for watching football all season long, and then again during Super Bowl XXXX. She loved the Red Sox hat and jersey...this year's been easy in Bean Town.

 

[ob]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Just came back from delivering a valentine plant to my wifes office.Actually I gave it to the building security guy and he brought it up to her.One of those tropical plants that have the red heartshaped blooms.The card read simply.......................I love you............now gimme back my sunglasses.<br /><br />I let her wear em yesterday when we was golfin <br /><br />I'll do some more mushy stuff this evening.

 

[eurolarva]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

I am with spinner on this one. What can be more romantic then a brand new trolling motor. One with auto pilot would be the best choice.

 

[muskyone]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

got mine a Mercedes-Benz<br /> and a kiss but i never thought of a trolling moter heck a whole pinpoit system wonder if i can bring the car back

 

[muskyone]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

she said no and i'm sleeping on the couch

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Can never go wrong with power tools! Maybe a good sawzall or cordless drill?<br /><br />Flowers do die, but remember your dealing with a female. Do not think practical. Don't find something she can use, find something that just says she is special to you not for what she does but for who she is. Depends on money though. A friend of mine gives 1 rose for every valentines day they have been married, and 1 rose of a different color to represent the one valentines day together before they got married. After 15 years it is kind of expensive though. <br />I have done a lot of different things over the years. Last year was a 3 diamond pendant she has been wanting for years. Another year we had no money at all, so I went online and found peotry. I printed a bunch, about 50, poems and made a book for her. When she first opened it she was like oh, thanks. After she looked at what it was she cried. A surprise night in a motel room could be nice if she is needing a break, but the motel night is also for you so sometimes not good enough.<br />The best year for us was back when we had some money to spend. Started with not a word from me that morning. She left upset that I didn't say happy Vday or anything. At work I sent her flowers. I was gone when she got home, but I left some jewlery at home for her, right after I cleaned the house top to bottom, scrubbed floors and toilet and all. I packed her suitcase and hid it in the car. We went out for supper that night, a nice candle lit table and all. After supper a walk in the park and some time playing on the swingset at the park. Then as we left, she though we were going home. I stopped at the motel for a drink in their bar. Then surprised her with a poolside suite. <br />Top off a gift with a candle lit bubble bath just for her.<br />OR In the words of Ron White, "Diamonds............That'll shut'er up."

 

[one more cast]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

I drove 50 miles in a nasty slushy blowing snow storm to take my wife to Red Lobster. Had to wait an hour to get seated.

 

[brother chris]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

You know what I got for valentines day? <br />A "if you want something for valentines day, give me some money and I will go buy you something". <br />I did get her some chocolate and a card, but this is what I get and I did not even do anything wrong(except maybe breathe the wrong way )

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

Isn't it kind of unfair? <br />I have never missed getting my wife anything for V-day. BUT I can't count how often I hear "you never do anything to make these special days special for me". If I can't get off work for a birthday, Christmas, V-day then I am the a$$ for not trying hard enough, and for "never doing anything to make it special". Only a few months after surprising her with the necklace she has wanted for years I hear those words. "you never do anything sweet for me anymore". <br />What have I got for the last 10 years or more for birthday or christmas or V-day? Nothing! The first year we were married I got an awsome tool set. <br />For her last birthday I sat down in private with the kids in the afternoon and had them use their crayons and make a huge card for her birthday. I would like something like that myself, and so did she. BUT I should have been decent enough to have made it the day before, NOT the day of her birthday! Wow how could I have been so insensative! Just because I worked an 18 hour shift the day before, that was no excuse! "Your JOB always ruins everything!". <br />Don't get me wrong, I love my wife. I am not a part of the he-mans woman haters club. I am all for equal rights and fair treatment of women. I have loved women every since I realized I wasn't one. <br />I made a mistake, last year I got the fathers day gift that beats everything in the world. She could never have found anything better! She got a picture frame with 5 photo slots in it. In the first photo slot she printed Happy fathers day. The second slot she had my oldest laying on her stomache in the yard holding a wooden D. The middle had my son in the yard holding a wooden A. The thrid had my middle girl holding a wooden D. ALl photos were in black and white, the kids were dressed in their best clothes. Then thge bottom she put a printed sign saying with all our love, the kids names, then the year. That was my turn to cry.

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: Gentlemen, we need to talk. Sorry Ladies

i set her up first by complaining that we don't need to spend any dang $$$ on valentines. <br /><br />then she says i'm a dud <br /><br />then i get by with something simple. a card of course, and flowers. this time it was a nice packaged pot of pink tulips that we can replant(bulbs). and i agree to go out for dinner, which she picks the place, gets whatever she wants. but since she always eats chicken, its no biggie.<br /><br />i always remember to get VD cards & a gift early, when they start advertising. had her & daughters cards & trinkets hidden in goldie (the jeep) in dungeon (basement) <br /><br />but i had to sneak out late on the 13th because i forgot - i have to buy a card from my daughter-for mom! geez after 5yrs i should remember <br /><br />so got daughter to draw some neat pics & kisses & all that warm&fuzzy stuff on a cool card that looked like a box of valentine cereal, with a real cute collectible small teddy bear inside. oh yeah, got daughter a fancy balloon too. she loves balloons.<br /><br />but, in 17yrs of marriage, i normally get wife:<br />- mushy card (comedy on other occasions)<br />- flowers (usually a potted plant or cut mix @$9)<br />- sometimes a little tiny stuffed VDay animal<br />- dinner out, her choice, then or the next weekend<br /><br />i used to have flowers delivered to her work, but not the last few yrs. its a ripoff, and she'd rather have a nice dinner out.