Blonde Joke Marathon

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening. "I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

RPJS · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Three blondes walking down the street when they came upon an old lamp, when they rubbed the lamp a genie appeared and granted them one wish each. The first blonde asked to be smarter. She was changed into a red head. The second asked to be smarter than the first. She was changed into a brunette. The third asked to be smarter than both her friends. She was changed into a man.

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7"

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"

eeboater · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Q: What happened to SBN when LF read this thread? A: Noone knows....anyone seen SBN?

Darren Smith · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde, a red head and a burnette were at the doctors office, all 8 months pregnant. The burnette pipes up, I'm going to have a boy, because he was on top. The red head thinks about it, the says I'm going to have a girl. All of the sudden the blonde bursts into tears, and starts crying. the burnette and the red head look at each other puzzled... then ask whats wrong. In between the sobs, the blonde says I'm going to have a puppy!

Darren Smith · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river. The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down. She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn't get back. He yelled in response, "Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back." She replied, "No, I'll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!"

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what number came first. Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? A: Divorced. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries. Q: Why did it take the blonde seven days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago? A: She kept seeing signs that read "stop clean bathroom".

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A: Because they can spell it. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes go in first. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk. When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order. Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?" Gloria replied, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "No, just up to my waist."

Andrew Leigh · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Two blondes both own VW Beetles. One Saturday they decide to go shopping. One blonde in her VW and the other following in her VW. The blonde in front suddenly stops, gets out the car and lifts the bonnet. The other blonde stops and asks "What wrong" to which the first blonde replies. The car won't go but I think i've found the problem, there's no engine. That's O.K. says the other i've a spare in my trunk.

Link · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Originally posted by aspeck: Link - you suck-up!

ROFLOL I figured Id get busted in the next post or two... made it through 16 posts!

cbnoodles · Jul 29, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blind man walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks the barmaid if she wants to hear a blond joke. She says "Look mister, I'm 5' 11" and I kickbox as a sideline. The lady sitting next to you is a 6' SWAT team police officer. The 3 women seated at the table behind you are on the US olympic team for throwing the javelin, discus, and hammer. We are all blonds. Are you sure you want to tell a blond joke in here?" He says "Never mind, I'd have to tell it 5 times anyway."

LadyFish · Aug 11, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is .. an auto parts store?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon." "Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie? She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up! FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN

KaGee · Aug 11, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Touche' No gas shortage on this board!

JB · Aug 11, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

at LF.

Darren Smith · Aug 11, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

One blonde asks another blonde which is closer, London or the moon. So she answers the moon is closer. The first"how do you know?" . .

Blonde Joke Marathon

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