Blonde Joke Marathon

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde is on a four-engine plane. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot comes on the radio and says, ?I'm sorry, our first engine has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes.? Then there's another bang. Once again, the radio comes on and the pilot says the same thing except that the second engine shut down and that they'll be delayed nearly two hours. After that, the third engine shuts off and the pilot tells the passengers that they will be delayed 3 hours. The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, ?Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we'll be up here all day.?

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She comes out and says she did.

Reel Poor · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Hey SBN I know one too Two blonds are walking down the street when one finds a mirror on the ground and picks it up She looks in the mirror and smiles, then the two keep walking A few minutes later she looks in the mirror again and a puzzled look came across her face Her friend says...Whats wrong? She says...The face in the mirror is familure but I cant think of who it is Her friend says...Let me see,,,,,,,Oh you idiot, thats . . . . . . . . . . . . . ME

Reel Poor · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde counting in spanish uno uno uno uno uno uno uno uno uno uno

KaGee · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

This is great!! Give SBN some butter cause he's on a roll!

bubbakat · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

One smart blond. Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double pane, energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around and around! Just because I'm a blonde does not mean I'm automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year, namely, that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up. I have not heard anything back. Guess I won that stupid argument!

snapperbait · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

aw, heck... I'm already on The List .....

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

snapperbait · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

snapperbait · Jul 27, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?? A: Tell them a joke on Wednesday!!

LadyFish · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

aspeck · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

RUN! Capt. Connie has entered the building!

Spinner, Snapper, et al, I got your back - way back! I don't want to be around when the grenade goes off!

Link - you suck-up!

NYMINUTE · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

Our favorite blonde motorist was about two hours outside San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble." "I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he stopped, horrified at what he saw. There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo." "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World."

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again. She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box." The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!" The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!" The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!" By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes." Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!" The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "WIN A BAGEL."

SpinnerBait_Nut · Jul 28, 2005

Re: Blonde Joke Marathon

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar. The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal." "That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car." "Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice. About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?" "No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it." Get the sign

Blonde Joke Marathon

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