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  1. LadyFish

    The Deaf Bookeeper

    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten<br />million bucks. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational<br />benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that<br />a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd...
  2. LadyFish

    Ohio Cows

    The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Mansfield, Ohio, for $200.00.<br /><br />They bought the cow from Ohio and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased...
  3. LadyFish

    Teaching in Vermont

    A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are<br />John Kerry fans. Not really knowing what a John Kerry fan is, but<br />wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands<br />except one boy. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be<br...
  4. LadyFish

    April Fools

    Well its April Fools Day. Has anyone been hit with a prank yet?<br /><br />Over the years I've pulled a couple of good ones. One time I got Mr. LadyFish before he even had his morning coffee.<br /><br />All you need is a rubber band in order to pull off. With the water faucet turned off, place...
  5. LadyFish

    Fishin for Bull Reds

    Fun to catch, bull red.<br /> <br /><br />How to rig for bull reds:<br /><br />Rig your surf rod with 20# Trilene XT, a redfish rig (available at any fishing store), a circle hook, and a spider weight.<br /><br />Bait; live mullet ( 7" range) or cut mullet.<br /><br />Wade out & cast between...
  6. LadyFish

    Home Remedies

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.<br /><br />2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.<br...
  7. LadyFish

    Fishing Jokes

    What do you call a fish with no eye?<br />FSH!!!! (I told you they were bad)<br /><br />How do you stop a fish from smelling?<br />Cut it's nose off<br /><br />What is the fastest fish in the sea?<br />Go-carp.<br /><br />What did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a...
  8. LadyFish

    The Mother-in-law

    There once was a mother-in-law who wanted to test the love of her 3 son-in-laws. She devised the following test: while walking with them in the park, she would individually test their love for her by pretending to lose her balance and slip into the little stream that streamed along beside the...
  9. LadyFish

    Vodka, its a wonderful thing

    Who would have thunk it??<br /><br />It's a wonderful thing this Vodka! Gonna get some now! <br /><br />1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.<br /><br />2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray...
  10. LadyFish

    Flat Tires (joke)

    A guy comes into a coffee shop and places his order. He says: "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards."<br /><br />The waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, goes to the kitchen and says to the cook. "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair...
  11. LadyFish

    Any gardeners here?

    We planted our tomatoes last Saturday, a little late for us but I should be able to start harvesting by May 5th. <br /><br />Last year I decided to plant a cayenne pepper bush. I ended up making my own Louisiana Hot Sauce and its the best.<br /><br />Anybody else have a garden?
  12. LadyFish

    Specks 'n Reds Where Are You?

    The specks and reds are starting to turn on again in Galveston Bay, I sure could use your expertise.<br /><br />Water temp and algae are having an effect on how we normally fish them.<br /><br />If your lurking about, come on in. There are others here that fish Galveston Bay and could learn so...
  13. LadyFish

    What Kind of Thinker Are you?

    My results:<br /><br />Naturalist Thinkers:<br /><br /> * Like to understand the natural world, and the living beings that inhabit it<br /> * have an aptitude for communicating with animals<br />* You try to understand patterns of life and natural forces<br /><br />Other Naturalist...
  14. LadyFish

    Thought for the day (C&P)

    Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they<br />haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know<br />it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.<br /><br />I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about...
  15. LadyFish

    It's Leap Day!

    Every four years you get an extra day...for the most part!<br /><br /># Leap Year Is When?<br />It's every four years right? Kind of. It's every four years except years that end in 00 unless they're divisible by 4. Find a calendar to help you figure it out!<br /><br /># Leap Day Babies<br />Leap...
  16. LadyFish

    Yankee or Dixie?

    Since a few of you seem to have a little time on your hands,and since all of our conversations are in type rather than voiced, I thought it would be interesting to know what type of accent you have. As for me I spent the first half of my life in New York and the second half in Texas. I only...
  17. LadyFish

    Mardi Gras Galveston

    Here's the cam from the Strand Historic District where most of the action is. Although its quiet now, it will get interesting later today when the parade and beads start flyin. Eight parades all total and this is the quieter of the two weekends. The weather stinks right now but is suppose to...
  18. LadyFish

    Valentines Day - tick-tock Guys

    A reminder that Valentines Day is tomorrow. Don't wait until tomorrow to buy the card or the gift, we always know when you do and it just dosen't set well.<br /><br />In case any of you need any last minute suggestions or ideas, I am offering my services.<br /><br />I would hate to see y'all...
  19. LadyFish

    Things to Know

    1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair <br /><br /> 2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish <br /><br /> 3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes <br /><br /> 4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair <br /><br /> 5. Elmer's Glue - paint on...
  20. LadyFish

    New Words

    Some new words for you to learn.<br />BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a<br />deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.<br /><br />SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps<br />on everything, and then leaves.<br /><br...
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