Who decided that fighting is bad?

[bowman316]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

I think a lot of the fundamentals here are about true confidence rooted in some self belief in a situation. Which is something sadly lacking in most kids young people today given the way the average parent has inadvertantly defeated their sense of independence and self determination...an their true personal confidence along with it..
My quick two bits.
BP

so by not having a sense of independence, are you saying that todays parents rely on authorities too much, and are really independent?

i think you may be onto something...

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

so by not having a sense of independence, are you saying that todays parents rely on authorities too much, and are really independent?

i think you may be onto something...

OK, I"m slow so help me out here are you trying to be facetious? The statement "rely on authorities too much, and are really independent" is like one big oxymoron sentence.
I am going to go a little off topic right now but maybe not. It there is going to be zero tolerance it should be a two way street, for in school there are all forms of bullies, some are called administration.

I am fighting with against something similar to what I feel Bigprairie is trying to say, right now in my own life. My new "world order" wife is ready to bow down to the higher authority let them tell her what they think is best for one of our children, and just roll over to the school where I want to find the TRUE root of the problem.

Jones put it quite eliquently "When the source of common sense is denied, we can't have it."

Sometimes a school , or I should say members of its faculty lacks common sense, or refuses to see things for how they truly are and try to manipulate a situation to suit their agenda.

 

[bowman316]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

i meant to say dependant on authorities, not independant.

parents are not independant.

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

i meant to say dependant on authorities, not independant.

Parents are not independant.

lol

 

[cheburashka]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

Sometimes a school , or I should say members of its faculty lacks common sense, or refuses to see things for how they truly are and try to manipulate a situation to suit their agenda.

As a teacher and a father of an elementary-school student, I have to say that this one is difficult for me.

What exactly is "common sense"? I've always thought of it as doing what's best for the largest group of people--focusing on what we have in common. That's what administrators tend to do. Then again, sometimes what they recommend infringes on the rights of an individual student. Let's use your son as an example. You mentioned in another thread that he's rebellious and that his teacher thinks that is causing problems. You mentioned that someone--a teacher or administrator--recommended having him put on Ritalin or something similar for the good of his learning, but it sounds like it's mainly for the good of the classroom in general. In this case you're looking at a pretty good example of "common sense." I don't think it's the right thing to do for your son, but I think it's a quick and easy way to remove disruption from the class.

My son has the same problems. He rebels against his music teacher, as well he should. She's an idiot. She blasts out recordings of professional vocalists singing louder than the kids to drown out the bad notes. She makes mistakes in describing things (and is corrected by my son who has a good grounding in music theory). She sees my son as a problem in the classroom, and lowers his grade accordingly. Sadly, she thinks she's doing the right thing--what's best for the classroom community.

I don't know the answer to problems like this, but I do know that if my son had a behavior problem (like I did when I was in school) I wouldn't medicate him. I would make it clear that he behaves that way because he is EXCEPTIONAL and medicating him to the point that he's COMMON is not a good solution to the problem.

Maybe I'm quibbling here, but I don't think the problem is a lack of "common sense." I think it's too much "common sense" and a refusal to accept the fact that some people aren't "common."

 

[HVAC Cruiser]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

I don't know the answer to problems like this, but I do know that if my son had a behavior problem (like I did when I was in school) I wouldn't medicate him. I would make it clear that he behaves that way because he is EXCEPTIONAL and medicating him to the point that he's COMMON is not a good solution to the problem.

Maybe I'm quibbling here, but I don't think the problem is a lack of "common sense." I think it's too much "common sense" and a refusal to accept the fact that some people aren't "common."

I thought you were going to Hawaii I want some pics lol
I agree 150%,( Edit- that was an excellent way to phrase it) I was in a very foul mood when I was posting last night :redface: One of the obstacles with him I am facing is my wife wants to take the easy way out too, I am fighting for him on two fronts. In his situation I really want to go sit in on the class for a few days to see just how he and his teacher interact.

 

[cheburashka]

Re: Who decided that fighting is bad?

I thought you were going to Hawaii I want some pics lol
I agree 150%,( Edit- that was an excellent way to phrase it) I was in a very foul mood when I was posting last night :redface: One of the obstacles with him I am facing is my wife wants to take the easy way out too, I am fighting for him on two fronts. In his situation I really want to go sit in on the class for a few days to see just how he and his teacher interact.

I leave Saturday. Still sitting here grading papers.

I meant to weigh in on the other thread, but it's hard to know what to say. I don't like the idea of medicating kids, but I also don't like classroom disruptions. My wife is observing classes now and she's seen some really bad things going on in classrooms.

In your case it sounds like he's up against a bad teacher. I've been there as a kid. I assume he gets a new teacher next year? If it were me, I'd talk to him about it. Let him know that you understand that he's in a difficult situation, and that it will probably get better next year.

I wonder how much of bullying has to do with parents who don't talk to their kids?