When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

[Bigprairie1]

Well, there was a recently released statistic in Canada...and I assume its pretty similar in the states, that over 40% of adults under 30 years old still live at home.
So whether you have kids or not, do you think that adult children (over 18) living at home should pay room and board? I guess the term would be 'rent' for non family.
What if your adult children (....I just can't call them kids for some reason)...are in college? thats probably a game changer....or?
Or, what if they are not in college or school and have part time work instead of full time work....should their initial earnings go to 'the house' to at least cover their 'board' (ie: house costs such as groceries, part of the utilities, gas or?)
Is there an age where it should start to be downloaded and enforced? ie: 21? 20? 25?....or 18?
What are own experiences for when you were that age? Were you under any pressure to 'move it on out' or was there a standing offer to stay as long as you like? What are your house rules or ideas on this and do they align with your spouses....or not?
I'm looking for some interesting feedback on this because there is a bit of it going on around here....so I'm curious as to what a good general cross section of folks (thats you guys) has to say on it.
All Good
BP

 

[pikefisherman]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I thing it depends on a lot of things, but no dead beat or lazy kids in my home, all are floating their own boat.

 

[coolbri70]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I started working part time at age 15, I was never charged rent, was able to save my pay to buy a car and toys. there were house rules and chores and curfews. when I turned 18 I left home on my own accord as an adult I wanted to do as I pleased, live by my own rules, back then I could get hired on the spot at any low wage job and room with friends have good times, sometimes sharing a place with several friends, parties every night, beer soaked carpet that splashed when you walked on it, police visits frequently they would say keep it down we said ok and would be quiet for at least 30 minutes my son age 20 and daughter age 22 are on there own now, they don't like my house rules:suspicious:

 

[MTboatguy]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I never paid rent, bu I left home at 15 and joined the military at 18, I booted my boy out when he was 16 because of his problems, now he is a paramedic, I don't know that there is a good answer to your question.

 

[younggun]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I am 17 and still live at home but I am a senior in high school and will be going to college for 2 or 2 and a half years (which I won't be at home the except for holidays and some weekends) and my parents told me I could live at home until I'm out of school and then a year or so so I can get some money together to find and buy a house as long as I follow their rules while I live in their house

Edit: also I have gotten enough scholarships to pay for my college and am still working on some to pay room and board

 

[Bamaman1]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Whenever someone's in school or college and going in a positive direction, they shouldn't be required to pay rent to parents that are fiscal stable.

But when they're out of college 6 months, or get a job, they should be required to pay their own way.

In the States, our cost of living is substantially less than in Canada. We don't have 15% sales taxes and $12.99 per 6 pack beer. And our housing costs are nothing like we see on HGTV shows coming out of Canada. Hopefully someone with a college education or a trade can make sufficient income to have their own apartment and be on their own.

 

[ceasarea]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I agree with the previous post.....I live outside of Toronto (ON )....average price is well over $600,000....and that's no big palace....semis are over 500,000. We don't get to write off any mortgage interest against our income...and we are taxed high....some 50%....How in the heck can kids get a start if they don't stay at home and save. My three kids were told that as long as they are in school ( up to 25 ) they can enjoy free living ...and if they are saving their money towards a house they can stay a little longer rent free....I am not being a sucker having them drive around in flashy cars while i try to help them out....save or leave after school.

 

[southkogs]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Lots of different ways a kid can contribute to the economy of the household without necessarily paying room and board. I won't let a child leach off me (mine aren't old enough to prove this yet), but I won't necessarily charge them to live here either. That said, ever since they've been old enough to help my kids have been required to help and contribute. As they've gotten older it's been more significantly helping in areas that bring real value to our whole family.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Back in the dark ages (late 70's) as long as I was in school my room and board were free. As soon as I left school and went to work I payed rent. Either to my parents or a landlord. Eventually purchased my own home...........and continued paying. I know "times have changed"' but it still costs to live. If kids do not learn this at a young age they may never.

 

[PS94]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Agree on the school or saving issue. I'm 32. When I was 18, my folks asked that I pay rent or go to school. I did the school thing first, then paid rent. when they found out I was saving for a house, they told me to put the rent $ into the savings. Bought(renting from the bank essentially) my first home when I was 24 for $220,000..Doubt I could have saved the 10% deposit, CMHC fees, lawyer fees, utility fees etc without them letting me live there cheap/free

 

[drrpm]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I have no problem covering the kids as long as they are moving steadily in a positive direction. Once they graduate and get decent jobs they should be ready to move along in a year or so.

 

[robert graham]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

My family has multiple instances of duds/dead-beats/failure to launch types, several of them guys, a few females.....seems like it's the women/mothers/maternal types that tend to give in/enable these folks....the males/dads are a lot quicker to kick 'me out of the nest/sink or swim....but everyone has to know that sooner or later they have to feed themselves, provide their own shelter, sink or swim/whatever you want to call it....but for myself and having worked and provided for myself since I left home at 18 years old, not much sympathy for the duds!....

 

[dingbat]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

I am 17 and still live at home but I am a senior in high school and will be going to college for 2 or 2 and a half years

Why only 2-2.5 years? In our local job market, a 4 year Bachelors degree has replaced the high school diploma as the base line for employment.

Whenever someone's in school or college and going in a positive direction, they shouldn't be required to pay rent to parents that are fiscal stable.

Agree.
I have one in her second year of college and the other a high school senior. As long as they remain full time students, all their expenses are paid with the exception of fuel for their vehicles.

Given their ambition and scholastic aptitudes, I don't see either sticking around long after graduation.

 

[greenbush future]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Great questions you are asking, I will share my view as a non-parent.

I left my folks house at 16 years of age, (now 53) because I chose not to live under their rules. I caused them trouble by staying out later than they wanted and various other differences of opinion. I see the same issues many others are sharing about kids staying well past 18, or 22 if school is involved.
It is my opinion that parenting of kids first and most important goal is to become 100% independent and trained off parents or others by the time they are 18 years of age or graduated from college at 22 and out the door which ever comes first. That's the entire goal that quite honestly may seem cold, but by not doing this, I feel you are misleading your kids to think life is somehow fair, equal or easy. It is not any of the above, and it's up to parents to teach "reality" not what I see the majority of the time in today's world. Part of this training would require any able adult that is living with parents, to pay rent. That's reality, and by not charging rent all you are doing is enabling fantasy.
Even if parents keep this rent and at their discretion, offer it back to the young adult to help out. The sooner young adults realize how the world works, the better off they will be.
Anyone ever hear of a "Helicopter parent" ? If not use Google and learn what not to do.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Why only 2-2.5 years? In our local job market, a 4 year Bachelors degree has replaced the high school diploma as the base line for employment.

younggun is in Union SC, that's a world away from your local job market.

 

[Bigprairie1]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

It can be a very tricky business these days getting feedback from parents on their kids.....very tricky. The way we view our kids and comment on them and their situation is often 180? different than we believe the way things should be and work for other people and their kids....not always....but very often.
We are pretty quick to spot the lazy kids with no sense of responsibility or community respect...but we are definitely sure our own kids aren't in that group for some reason....not exactly a great perspective, but pretty common.
That said Bamaman has some very good points about our cost of living up here in Canada. Our economy is pretty good so a lot of costs are high...including housing. The fact is tho' that often a lot of young people are not going to give up the income they do make on having it fund housing and food vs. lifestyle elements. So....they head back home where the housing and food is often covered off.
The rising issue with a lot of young people is that many are not interested in any lateral work or entry level 'work your way up and across' choices...they want the full enchilada or they are not going to bite. I guess that is why a lot of lower level employment is saturated with immigrants...they seem to be the only ones who will work at that level and pay just to have work.
Bubba's comments on North America's way of dealing with family and housing is pretty interesting. Lots of other cultures and countries have definitely adopted and embraced the 'everyone lives together' routine. In Italy the amount of men under the age of 35 still living with their parents is sky high....so much so that the Italian government is thinking of developing some legislation to get them out on their own earlier somehow. Apparently this dependence or attachment to home and parents...or whatever it is....is starting to affect birthrates, etc because the women, who are substantially more liberated, educated and independent than their previous generation arent' interested in taking over the roll of 'mom' for these grown men who might be considering marriage, etc.....which makes sense. I wouldn't want my daughter playing nursemaid to a momma's boy either I guess.
We north americans have always valued and put a lot of respect upon (....at least until lately) independence, independent lifestyles, actions and thinking and its led to a lot of great things. We haven't spent a lot of time on the family community thing....particularly with the parents and grandparents moving in the with kids when they hit the old age numbers.....I wonder how that little surprise is going to go over with the current generation?....LOL.
Interesting stuff guys....still keen on your opinions on this.

All Good
BP

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

It can be a very tricky business these days getting feedback from parents on their kids.................................................The fact is tho' that often a lot of young people are not going to give up the income they do make on having it fund housing and food vs. lifestyle elements. So....they had back home where the housing and food is often covered off.
The rising issue with a lot of young people is that many are not interested in any lateral work or entry level 'work your way up and across' choices...they want the full enchilada or they are not going to bite. I guess that is why a lot of lower level employment is saturated with immigrants.......still keen on your opinions on this.

All Good
BP

There in lies the issue. Today no one wants to take a step back in "lifestyle" to make a stand on their own. When I was growing up being independent was more important than being comfortable or content in living under someone else's rules.

 

[dingbat]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

[/B][/I]

younggun is in Union SC, that's a world away from your local job market.

I understand, but Charlotte, Columbia and other "places of opportunity" are a world away as well.

If one's ambition is to stay in a Union and make $10-15 an hour all your life, you can get away with it. If you want to leave and get ahead elsewhere, you'll need the education to make yourself successful outside the confines of Union. It's going to take more than a 2 year degree in most cases.

 

[dingbat]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

......

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: When or what age to pitch in and pay room and board....or not.

Like I said, job markets are different. Some times vastly. Admittedly I do not live in a large metro area. However I can tell you the wage scale here is at the top and above your stated range. Coupled with a much lower cost of living in the area means you do not need to have as high an income here to live as comfortably as where you do. I'll wager the PP taxes here are well less, 1/2 to 1/10 the cost of yours.