LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.<br /><br />"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.."<br /><br />2. My mother taught me RELIGION.<br /><br />"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."<br /><br />3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.<br /><br />"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"<br /><br />4. My mother taught me LOGIC.<br /><br />"Because I said so, that's why."<br /><br />5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.<br /><br />If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."<br /><br />6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.<br /><br />"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."<br /><br />7. My mother taught me IRONY.<br /><br />"Keep crying, and! I'll give you something to cry about."<br /><br />8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.<br /><br />"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."<br /><br />9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.<br /><br />"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"<br /><br />10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.<br /><br />You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."<br /><br />11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.<br /><br />"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it"<br /><br />12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.<br /><br />"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"<br /><br />13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.<br /><br />"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."<br /><br />14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.<br /><br />"Stop acting like your father!"<br /><br />15. My mother taught me about ENVY.<br /><br />"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."<br /><br />16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.<br /><br />"Just wait until we get home."<br /><br />17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.<br /><br />"You are going to get it when you get home!"<br /><br />18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.<br /><br />"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."<br /><br />19. My mother taught me ESP.<br /><br />"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"<br /><br />20. My mother taught me HUMOR.<br /><br />"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."<br /><br />21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.<br /><br />"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."<br /><br />22. My mother taught me GENETICS.<br /><br />"You're just like your father."<br /><br />23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.<br /><br />"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"<br /><br />24. My mother taught me WISDOM.<br /><br />"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."<br /><br /><br />25. My mother taught me JUSTICE.<br /><br />"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" 
