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jbcurt00

jbcurt00

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11887951_676361569131642_4783217538774728812_n.jpg


When we checked out, I knew we forgot to do something
 
gm280

gm280

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
14,605
Not sure if you all have ever hear this old one before. But it is a little interesting;

Three guys walk into a hotel and they ask for a room. The hotel clerk says they have a room and it cost $30 dollars a night. So each guy take out a $10 dollar bill and hands it to the clerk and pays for their room. They go to their room and mean while the hotel manager sees the transaction and stated that they over charged the guys. The room was only $25 dollars a night. So he hands the clerk $5 dollars and tell him to give it back to the guys. As the clerk goes to the room to return the $5 dollars, he thinks that he can't split $5 dollars up evenly, so he decides to give them only $3 dollars back and keep the other $2 dollar for himself. He knocks on the door and give each guy $1 dollar back. So now the guys paid $9 dollars each. So instead of paying $30 dollars for the room, they paid only $27 dollars ($9 dollars each) and the other $2 dollars that the clerk kept make $29 dollars. Where did the other $1 dollar go....?
 
hungupthespikes

hungupthespikes

Master Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
814
Paraprosdokians:[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot](Winston Churchill loved them.) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and generally humorous.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]9. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put, 'DOCTOR'.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it?s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
 
WIMUSKY

WIMUSKY

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Messages
19,959
Neither do I. I just watch it when it's -20 during Jan/Feb just to see something green......
 
hungupthespikes

hungupthespikes

Master Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
814
This is a real groaner!
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her
nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his
name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger and that it's okay, he knows
the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain
elephant , about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out
there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to
use this as collateral.' She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean,
what in the world is this?'

(folks, you​'​re​ gonna luv this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.'


(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are...)

Never take life too seriously!
Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!



​
 
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