Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

[Bubba1235]

My other half has been gone for a week out of state. I lived like a batchelor for the week meaning house keeping was not my top priority while she was away.

So yesterday I got up early and cleaned the entire house from top to bottom (she got home around 5 PM), did up all the laundry, went to the store and restocked and picked up food for the supper I wanted to prepare. I made a roast, potatoes, baby carrots and corn bread along with her favorite wine. I even baked her favorite cake for her.

We ate and I asked the required questions about her trip, how her family was, etc. but all I was getting in the way of a response were one word answers. I did the "stupid husband" thing and asked what was wrong and of course was told, "nothing". SIGH....

It wasn't until about bed time she finally said, "It doesn't look like you needed me around here at all and can do without me". Aaarrrggg..... A guy just can't win!

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

...It wasn't until about bed time she finally said, "It doesn't look like you needed me around here at all and can do without me". Aaarrrggg..... A guy just can't win!

Since you were already in trouble, you should have taken that opportunity to say, "No, I didn't, just remember that!"

 

[roscoe]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

Thank God you didn't tell her about the new cute young neighbor that you hired to do the housework.

 

[Boomyal]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

..... A guy just can't win!

Bubba, are you just now coming to that recognition?

 

[Vanover]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

You all know a guy can never "win" maybe a tie though.

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

thank god you didn't tell her about the new cute young neighbor that you hired to do the housework.

lol!!!!

 

[Dave Barnett]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

You missed a prime chance there. You could have countered with Well honey it was very difficult I sure don't understand how you do it day after day.

 

[dwco5051]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

Sorta reminds me of the fellow who took a whole day cleaning the house from stem to stern while is wife was away. When she got home several hours went by and she did not comment on it. Finally he asked "do you notice any thing?"

Her reply "thankless job, isn't it?"

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

Since you were already in trouble, you should have taken that opportunity to say, "No, I didn't, just remember that!"

My favorite line ever from Everybody Loves Raymond:

Frank: Marie, where are my pancakes?!

Marie: There's a pitcher of batter next to the stove. You can't heat up a pan and pour yourself some pancakes?

Frank: You better hope I can't!!!!!


I use that one on my wife all the time

 

[dingbat]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

If I had done all that she would have wonder what I was up to.

 

[Tail_Gunner]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

At the age of 50 i have finally learned the equation.....Women are going to spank you for all of your mistakes....Remeber this and be humble take it like a man...Now dont ever forget to spank them once a week with religion...Like it or not no matter how long or old one gets...women always like a man who is humble but always one step ahead of them....OK im gone..


...laugh wil ya....Never take them for granted ....never....

 

[puddle jumper]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

You missed a prime chance there. You could have countered with Well honey it was very difficult I sure don't understand how you do it day after day.

Yup a missed opportunity

 

[HANGEYE]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

Made the BIGGEST mistake of my life. About 5 years ago I was waiting for my wife to finish getting ready to go out for dinner and drinks. I had a lousy day at work and I was getting very impatient. After nearly an hour, I went to the bathroom to see why it was taking so long. She said her hair wouldn't this and her make up wouldn't that etc etc. Without thinking, I said, YOU'RE 55, YOU'RE MARRIED, NOBODYS GOING TO LOOK AT YOU ANYWAY. I got to know the delivery guy pretty good. I also came to realize that the couch is ok for a nap but it aint worth a damn for a full nights sleep 4 nights in a row. That verbal diahriea cost me enough to buy a new (small) boat. She finally forgave me but still reminds me from time to time. After all the hurt I caused her with a totaly unwarrented remark like that I realized that she must really love me because we are still together. The memory of that night pains me to this day and will for the rest of my life. Just remember fellas, if you truely love her, get you're brains loaded before you shoot you're mouth off. I know I will from that day foreward.

 

[generator12]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

After tripping all over my tongue one evening, I tried to make it up the next day with a little gift. Her response:

"Oh no. Oh no. You can't buy your way out of this. Besides, you'll use the handcuffs just as much as I do!"

 

[Tim Frank]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."

The moral? ..... even when a guy is sensitive and is listening, he is still going to get it wrong.

 

[badkins50]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

If I had done all that she would have wonder what I was up to.

Yeah the first thing my wife would have done was said where and what is it followed by walking straight out to the garage.

 

[bruceb58]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

?Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.? -- Johnny Carson

 

[i386]

Re: Pleasing the wife... Not a chance.

My other half has been gone for a week out of state. I lived like a batchelor for the week meaning house keeping was not my top priority while she was away.

So yesterday I got up early and cleaned the entire house from top to bottom (she got home around 5 PM), did up all the laundry, went to the store and restocked and picked up food for the supper I wanted to prepare. I made a roast, potatoes, baby carrots and corn bread along with her favorite wine. I even baked her favorite cake for her.

We ate and I asked the required questions about her trip, how her family was, etc. but all I was getting in the way of a response were one word answers. I did the "stupid husband" thing and asked what was wrong and of course was told, "nothing". SIGH....

It wasn't until about bed time she finally said, "It doesn't look like you needed me around here at all and can do without me". Aaarrrggg..... A guy just can't win!

Hmm, they're rarely mad about what they say they're mad about. From some of the details of your story I gather she went to see her family. Did she want you to go and you elected not to?