Need some advice.( and the result)

[salty87]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

i was thinking along the lines of ss too. if you're looking or wondering if things will start back up, that is.<br /><br />have any keepsakes laying around? something you picked up on a special vacation or just a special afternoon together. anything little thing that shows that you remember and still care....about her, not the big family per se.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Originally posted by JB:<br /> For me it is the golden anniversary of the most important day of my life.

First, Does Elizabeth know that?<br /><br /> Second, Ya really don't need us to tell ya what you know in your heart is the right thing to do. But thanks for asking. And since ya asked. Do what you feel, flowers, gift whatever, then let the night lead ya where ever. Besides I am sure she knows what day it is as well. Best of luck on your golden anniversary date.

 

[wilkin250r]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

I don't get it.<br /><br />I see talks of flowers, yes. Gifts, yes. Even mention of a new engagement ring, and wishes of best luck, and that "one thing may lead to another..."?!?<br /><br />Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I didn't see anything in your post that indicates that you intend or desire to get back together with her and rekindle the life you had together.<br /><br />It seemed to me that your post had more of a nostalgic tone. Fond reflections of the past, rather than exciting prospects of the future.<br /><br />So many people regret their marriage if/when it falls through, and feelings of guilt and resentment replace the feelings of love and passion. However, it doesn't sound like YOU share that trait, but rather that you look back at your decisions and experiences with fond memories, with no regrets.<br /><br />If your ex is in the same boat, often with reflections of good times past, then this would indeed be an occasion for flowers. You share significant history with each other, and have remained friends in the years following your separation. Bright red roses might be a little much, but a bouquet of simple flowers conveys a message of friendship and fond memories. <br /><br />If you decide on a gift, keep it small and personal, a little joke you share between you, or something you know she has an intrest in. Extravagence is for courting, and it doesn't sound like that is your intention.

 

[jsfinn]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Congratulations, JB.<br /><br />Since you met in Hawaii, what do you think about her favorite flowers with a Hawaiian Lei or Puka necklace mixed in?<br /><br />Sometimes the simple things mean more than the elaborate ones.

 

[BoatBuoy]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

You're askin' a bunch of old, smelly, fishermen 'bout this?<br /><br />Seriously, don't forget the card. Men could care less about them, but they are special to women.

 

[FLATHEAD]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Take the flowers JB. She most likely has similar feelings. The flowers are a great gesture , but it's all in the conversation and the chemistry. Good luck,, and keep us updated.

 

[davemaxi1970]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Jb tell her how you feel ,lifes too short and at your lets say advancing years way to short! Favourite flowers, small personal gift .Few people who divorce still get on as well as you do so treasure it! Good luck!!

 

[bubbakat]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

One long stem yellow rose will say it all. Don't ad-lib nothing to it and it will come together by itself.

 

[JB]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

I think Wilkin reads me most accurately.<br /><br />I am not seeking to convince her of anything except my appreciation for the years we spent making a life together and the wonderful family we raised. She was/is the love of my life, and that is enough for one life.<br /><br />Of course I have changed; so has she. Neither of us need apologise for anything, then or now.<br /><br />As far as getting together again? After much thought and investigation I don't think that would be a good idea. We enjoy each other's company and share a lot, but she has a very different life than I do. I don't think she would like to live at The Hideout and I am not interested in living anywhere else. She will inherit my estate, but she doesn't know that.<br /><br />Thank you all for the input, especially LF. Women understand some things that men don't. <br /><br />I will write a card and take her some flowers.

 

[Bassy]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Nothing romantic you say. Okay. I say one yellow rose for friendship and let your heart do the talking. Keep it simple and true. <br />Bassy

 

[cbnoodles]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB,<br /><br />Hi. I'm glad you responded to the others' comments and suggestions before I saw this post because I was going to ask them how they came to the conclusion you had romantic inclinations where your ex is concerned.<br /><br />My comment is that I think you are extremely fortunate to be on such good terms with her and can enjoy her company and she yours. It is truly rare that ex-spouses can tolerate each other let alone actually enjoy being around one another.<br /><br />I can cite my parents' situation as an example without suggesting it is typical. No details here as I do not wish to derail a beautiful thread. My point is merely I envy the two of you your ability to continue a life-long relationship without regrets for things that might have been.<br /><br />Whatever you do, I hope you have a great time!

 

[crab bait]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

wow,, this is neet.. glad to read this..<br /><br />JB, the resident answerman.. with intellect, knowledge, an more logic then spock ,, needs help in the women department,, i think the rest of malekind doesn't have a chance .. <br /><br />small bouquet would be nice.. iether way it goes,JB.. she's still in your life.. an that's a good thing..

 

[jsfinn]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB, you're a good guy. She's lucky to have you.

 

[Ross J]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB there's still fire in the hold there mate!<br />Read the way you worded the post and you'll see your own answer.<br />After all you guys have been through the feelings move deeper than "romance" and they grow and develop to a greater degree than if you'd stayed togeather. <br />Hell yes, celebrate the event with gusto, make the most of it. Even get a hold of a posy and something diamond, like a broach. Give it to her with a speech reminiscent of the past. Tell her how you feel, hold her as you would like to if there were no baggage, then wait and see what her response is. I have a feeling you're in for a surprise.......................<br />Just do it privately. No need for the family to get false hopes in case of a dissapointment.<br />Ross

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Flowers... pehaps a braclet. Go for it and follow your heart.<br /><br />We will DEMAND the follow-up account!<br /><br />Best of luck.<br /><br />Bob

 

[magster65]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Don't over-analyze what might take place, or what doesn't, let the evening take it's path. The two of you share a lot and I think the flowers and a gift are absolutely appropriate to celebrate a great relationship and a successful family. Have fun with it. You said she's still the love of your life...<br />Tell her.

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Whatever makes the moment memorable for you JB. Enjoy the time....it is yours.

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Flowers yes, it can be a gift of love or of friendship.<br />Gift, probably not, that would be pressure.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Orginally posted by wilkin250r:<br /> <br />

I don't get it.<br /><br />I see talks of flowers, yes. Gifts, yes. Even mention of a new engagement ring, and wishes of best luck, and that "one thing may lead to another..."?!?<br /><br />Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I didn't see anything in your post that indicates that you intend or desire to get back together with her and rekindle the life you had together.

Originally posted by JB:<br />

I think Wilkin reads me most accurately.<br /><br />I am not seeking to convince her of anything except my appreciation for the years we spent making a life together and the wonderful family we raised. She was/is the love of my life, and that is enough for one life.

JB In your own words; "She was/is the love of my life," Seems to me there is more there than just "a nostalgic tone." Either way best of luck on your date.

 

[PW2]

Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB, you are lucky to have an ex that can remain a friend. A person can't have too many friends.<br /><br />During my divorce I always thought a more humane way to deal with it would have been with pistols at 30 paces, winner take all.<br /><br />The years have not changed my opinion, sadly.