Need some advice.( and the result)

JB

JB

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In 1955 I met a girl who was dating my best friend. That was in Hawaii.<br /><br />The three of us went out together for a few weeks. One night Hal had the duty, so Elizabeth and I went to a movie. We admitted to one another an irresistable attraction.<br /><br />50 years ago this Saturday we were married. Hal was best man.<br /><br />27 years, 4 children and a grandson later we divorced. Not a story worth telling today.<br /><br />Elizabeth remarried a couple of years later. She was widowed 3 years ago after about 18 years married to Bill.<br /><br />I got involved with a few women over the years. They all sent me packing, telling me that I was still "married" to Elizabeth.<br /><br />We have remained friends and go out together now and then, as well as gathering with our descendants (now up to 8 grandchildren and a great grandson) regularly.<br /><br />My feelings for her are tender and nostalgic, but not what I would call romantic. At our age romance doesn't seem important anymore.<br /><br />Now to my question. We are going out to dinner saturday. For me it is the golden anniversary of the most important day of my life. <br /><br />Should I send/bring flowers? What about a gift? What sort of gift?
 
O

oddjob

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Hell yah!....yes on the flowers. Think aBOUT THE GIFT..
 
SpinnerBait_Nut

SpinnerBait_Nut

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB, take what your heart tells you to.<br />Ain't anyone can tell you but yourself.<br /><br />If it feels right to take flowers, by all means, do so.<br />If she is still the same gal you married 50 years ago, then I am sure she will understand with whatever you decide on.<br /><br />Good luck and have a great time.<br /><br />Remember the ol saying, Don't worry, be happy<br /><br />And just Keep on keeping on.
 
aspeck

aspeck

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

You asking US whippersnappers for advice?!?! You may be asking for trouble!<br /><br />But the romantic in me says, yea, take flowers, and an engagement ring also! Follow your heart and do what seems best to YOU!<br /><br />Wishing you happy endings!
 
J

JRJ

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Since I've been married for 38 years (not my fault, just a great lady)I feel qualified to help here.<br /><br />Yes flowers if they make her smile. I think a gift also commerating 50 years of frindship/expieriances would be nice. As to what, you know what she likes. Have a great evening. Sometimes romance happens ;)
 
R

Ron G

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

I agree do what heart tells you,good luck
 
pjc

pjc

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Yes, small bouquet, nothing grandiose, of her special flowers. I myself would also present a card that expresses your current feelings, in your pen, as to why this dinner date is special to you. IMO, that card may be the most special gift you can give.<br /><br />Just my two cents.
 
D

DJ

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB,<br /><br />A tough sell-no doubt.<br /><br />YOU have to convince her that you are different.<br /><br />There's allot of hurt, on both sides.<br /><br />Flowers, NEVER hurt. BUT, it's going to be YOUR attitude/actions, etc. that will either douse the fire or flame it.<br /><br />If you can/will change to what she wants, you have a chance, if not, you know the answer. Change is NOT always good-either.<br /><br />I DO NOT envy you. Just realize, you are chasing an elusive rainbow.
 
LadyFish

LadyFish

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Definetly bring flowers. I would not bring a gift, its not necessary and may make her feel pressured.<br /><br />If I was her....if you brought some pictures (only a few very special ones, no more than 10) of your life together, I would find it endearing. Pictures of the two of you in younger years would be a nice touch. Then let the conversation lead to where it will.<br /><br />Show her you're the man she fell in love with all those years ago, the one she was supposed to grow old with. One thing may lead to another.<br /><br />Good luck JB! :)
 
treedancer

treedancer

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB how about one long stem red rose and a moonlight cruse in the gulf in a whaler?
 
K

kenimpzoom

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Bring what the young JB would have brought on his 50 year wedding anniversary.<br /><br />Be your own man, give what you think you should.<br /><br />Ken
 
T

txswinner

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Hell yes go for it. Do what makes you feel best. What kind of boat does she have?/
 
D

DJ

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB,<br /><br />Allot of yes's here.<br /><br />YOU have decide if you are the man you WERE, or, the man you ARE.<br /><br />Going back, is not always possible. If it were, we'd all be living our "glory days".<br /><br />Doesn't work that way.
 
M

matthews_jim

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

30th August been married to the same gals for 31 years. I say that to say I might know a little about (very little) about women. I know more that most men for sure.<br /><br />Flowers: Oh yes – big time. Women love flowers!<br />Gift – As some others have stated think about it. Unless you are spending a lot of money (diamonds, emeralds, ruby, and/or sapphires) make sure the gift is something she would love to have or would buy for herself. If she collects certain items, get her one. If she likes dogs, birds, or some other animal get her a very nice sculpture or figurine.<br /><br />Listen to your heart and just do it<br /><br />Engagement ring would be great too.<br /><br />Let us know how it works out.<br /><br />Best of luck!!!!
 
T

txswinner

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB at least you know you got a bunch of cheering for you regardless of the outcome.
 
E

Elmer Fudge

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

LadyFish said it perfectly :) <br /><br />I wish you both a wonderful evening ;)
 
A

ae708

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

Women love flowers.... they can forgive a lot of our crap if we give them flowers. Hell yeah.... give flowers for sure.
 
SS MAYFLOAT

SS MAYFLOAT

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

JB, Do you remember the movie that played that night? Do you have any pics from that period prior to getting married? What kind of food did you have at dinner back then?<br /><br />Your the man of knowledge and wisdom here and I'm sure some of the ideas given will let you know what to do. Go get her tiger! :D
 
K

KRS

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Re: Need some advice.( and the result)

My brother (in the navy) had a daughter out of wedlock 9 years ago. The mother left him to be with her parents. My brother always kept in touch.<br /><br />My brother met his commitment financially and then some, even after he married another woman and had kids.<br /><br />That marraige ended in divorce and my brother and the mother of his child (who had been in constant touch and have feeling for each other) were finally married.<br /><br />Time can do wonders for a relationship. If it is love, then cherish it. If you make some changes.... be sure it's not your time commitment to this forum because you would be missed!<br /><br />Flowers YES !<br /><br />Gift YES !
 
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