love this board but?

SpinnerBait_Nut

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
17,651
Re: love this board but?

Yo sista so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
 
D

dmessy

Chief Petty Officer
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Jul 8, 2001
Messages
505
Re: love this board but?

What kinda bird don't fly?<br />Eagles(in the superbowl that is)
 
O

ob

Admiral
Joined
Aug 16, 2002
Messages
6,992
Re: love this board but?

Yo mama so stupid..it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes
 
S

SCO

Lieutenant
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Aug 19, 2001
Messages
1,463
Re: love this board but?

Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
 
J

Jack Shellac

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Aug 7, 2002
Messages
1,661
Re: love this board but?

Another one, courtesy of grandson: Your sister's so fat that when she got on the scales, they indicated "One at a time, please".
 
SpinnerBait_Nut

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
17,651
Re: love this board but?

Yo sista so fat when she wears red she looks like the Kool-Aid Man.<br />Yo sista so fat when she wears a Malcom X T-Shirt hellicopters try landing on her.
 
S

shooter26

Petty Officer 3rd Class
Joined
May 31, 2001
Messages
78
Re: love this board but?

Your Mammy is so fat when she was cut on the leg gravy came out.
 
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miloman

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Nov 3, 2002
Messages
1,181
Re: love this board but?

Ive been gone for 2 days I cant believe that there are soooo many yo momma jokes this is killin me
 
C

chads15

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Jul 28, 2001
Messages
136
Re: love this board but?

Your Mom's so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
 
O

ob

Admiral
Joined
Aug 16, 2002
Messages
6,992
Re: love this board but?

Yo mammas outboard so slow when she came back from fishing her catch was on the endangered spieces list.
 
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dmessy

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 8, 2001
Messages
505
Re: love this board but?

A well-known cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral,<br />with many of his fellow MDs in attendance. A huge heart<br />covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.<br /><br />Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket<br />rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the<br />beautiful heart forever.<br /><br />At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.<br /><br />When confronted, he said "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral<br />-- I'm a gynecologist."
 
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chrisp

Cadet
Joined
Jan 16, 2003
Messages
11
Re: love this board but?

My momma has a deaf gyneacologist<br /><br />He's OK he can read lips<br /><br /> :rolleyes:
 
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masterp

Petty Officer 3rd Class
Joined
Sep 1, 2002
Messages
84
Re: love this board but?

So you guy's want a funny story.....lets see what I can pull out of my bag of plumbing tricks. Like the time I got a call from a medical student telling me his chimney was plugged and getting soot all over the house. When asked him if he thought the house was on fire or had been on fire he assured me it was the furnace and insisted I respond. When I arrived I found there had been a fire on the second floor of the building and had to call the fire department (remember this is a medical student). Or the time we were summond to a property because the oil truck driver couldn't be found. When we got to the property, we found the driver with his finger in the dike of a holy oil tank. Or the time one of our custormers called us to inform us "she had no heat" only to find out she she didn't have a heating system at all and wanted one installed. Plumbing....it's not a life it's an adventure! :eek:
 
M

miloman

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Nov 3, 2002
Messages
1,181
Re: love this board but?

When I started this post it was a reflection on the discussion on the boards re Sadam and some real negative cr%^ I am really glad that this post has turned into my evening funny> My wife walks into my office and sees me bursting a gut over some of these. I am really glad and happy to be part of a community such as this you all a great!!!!!<br /><br />OK heres one for you I think we can all relate to<br /><br />God is at the pearly gates giving out lives A Donkey is there, God says to the donkey, Donkey you will live for 20 years. The donkey says no God please only 10 years . God looks at the donkey and asks why? Donkey says to God, God Im a donkey I spend my life lugging people all day on my back Im tired all the time especially with the youg kids kicking me all the time. God says ok Donkey 10 years it is. A dog shows up God says to the dog Dog you will live for 20 years. The Dog says no God I only want 10 years I am a Dog I eat everything that is put in front of me I lick the floor God looks at the dog and say fine 10 years for you<br /> <br />A monkey shows up God says to the monkey, MOnkey you will live for 25 years. Monkey looks at God and says no PLease God only 15 years. Im a monkey all I do all day is entertain all the other monkeys trying to make them laugh . God says ok 15 years it is.<br /><br />MAN shows up God says to man, man you will live for 30 years. Man looks at God and says fine God but can I ask you a question, If Donkey doesnt want his 10 years Dog doesnt want his 10 years and Monkey doesnt want his 10 years can I have them.. God looks at man and says sure but under 1 condition>>>>>>>>>>>>For 30 years you live free like man with no care in the world at all, but for the next 10 you live like DOnkey lugging your small children all over the place. For the next 10 you live like a Dog you eat what ever is put in front of you. and for the last 10 you live like a monkey having those small grandchildren to entertain just like a monkey<br /><br />So what stage are you in I am a donkey bordering on a dog have a good one guys
 
C

chrisp

Cadet
Joined
Jan 16, 2003
Messages
11
Re: love this board but?

Yes I did cut and paste. I thought it was a laugh and wanted to share it. Sorry you didn't like it but thank God we are all different.
 
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