Im a freakiin Idiot

[mikeandronda]

I love my wife more then life itself ......I would die for her in a second. And yet somehow i say the wrong things and end up in the dog house, which im in now.So because she cant/wont listen to me now I will say it on here in front of my extended family.....Without Ronda I am less then nothing, im not even scum from the bottom of your shoes, I was a drunk,druggie a-hole who fought enimies and friends alike.I was quite a womaniser and I wasnt even a good father to my daughter.Then I met her and I wanted to be with her so bad the I changed everthing for her.Im straight and sober for like 4-5 yrs now,I dont cheat on her and I dont fight We are very active in our church.......and yet is till screw things up.I still yell when im mad grrrrrr I dont know the right time to let things slide.......and i dont give her the love she needs when she needs it aparently.She is the greatest thing in my life so I thought I would cry it out to the largest group of people I know, which would consist of all my iboats buddies. So here it is......"MY WIFE RONDA IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTAINT THING IN MY LIFE,WITHOUT HER I AM LESS THEN NOTHING" Whew I feel beter.

 

[BrianFD]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

m&r, don't be so hard on yourself... that's HER job!<br />Know exactly what you mean, bud. I mess up regularly with my better 1/2 (and she IS the better...). A little self-emasculation goes a long way, though. When I do something stupid that jeopardizes our relationship, I say it right up front: "I screwed up, I'm an idiot. Please forgive me." It usually takes me a couple of days of stubbornness for me to realize it and to say it, though.<br />Oprah Magazine (August, '04) had a short article in it that said the #1 problem in relationships is the desire to be "right" and win arguements, discussions, fights, etc. That's my problem, too. I have to be right! It's a tough habit to break, but I'm learning to just listen and try to appreciate her point of view before I say something stupid, demeaning, idiotic, etc. I find it's a little easier to lose face sometimes than to stretch an arguement out for days/weeks and live through that turmoil.<br />And my wife must be doing something right... She's let me stick around for nearly 30 years.<br />Good luck!

 

[DustyJacket]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Apologize immediately!<br />Especially if you are right.

 

[bubbakat]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

After 35 years fellows I still screw up and walk in the dog house. It just don't last as long now. I have learned to keep my mouth shut when she wants the last word.<br />That is what they all want so just don't say anything and it helps.<br />But of course arguing is a form of communicating.

 

[pjc]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Mike, you and me both.......my God, we can and do step in it big time. I guess that all we can do is let the Big Guy above sort it out. <br /><br />Sometimes our Brides have nutso stuff going on that is kinda the PMS deal. Please be mindful that I have NO disrespect for that stuff, but it is real. And it is we as our Wives husbands that kinda need to be walking on eggshells when that stuff is occuring. Not fun, but very real.<br /><br />Darn, I have typed lots to your post, only have deleted all due to the emotion that I have 'cause we as husbands are all in the same boat so to speak. Mano man, Mike. best to you and your Bride.<br /><br />Peace Mike, My Best........Pat

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Yea what's up with these hot flashes anyway?<br />I wake up in the middle of the night with water running off my back where she is cuddles up to me.<br />But that's all I have to complain about so far.<br /><br />Hang in there Mike, were pulling for ya.<br />Were all in this together.

 

[tylerin]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

When you figure it out let me know. Until then "Get ahold of yourself" there's no MIKEANDRONDA without Mike

 

[achris]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

That's a large club you're a member of Mike. Entry is via the 'XY' chromosome. Welcome. There's many of us and we all think about each other. So stay strong.<br /><br />C................

 

[mikeandronda]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Thanx for the responses guys, it seems it gets pretty crowded here in the doghouse at times <br />What we have here between me and my wife is a classic exsample of a battle of the sexes........Kids naughty, I say teach him with disipline....she says teach him with Love. Somebody wrongs me , I say eeerrr ummmm Take care of business my way, She says handle it the legal and christian way I get mad, I yell, she gets mad and gets quite. When Im in the Doghouse I almost always get 3 days of silent treatment.<br /><br />1st day I enjoy the peace and quite and time to myself.<br /><br />2nd day im still ok but I almost always attempt to get back onto my wifes good side, the kids are usally starting to act funny towards me too.<br /><br />the 3rd day im lonely, the kids have completly turned against me and I apologise even if I was right.<br />Well this time I was lonely on the first day <br />I told here I was wrong and that she was right and she smiled so im guessing it will only be 2 days this time..........

 

[CoachHolland]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Originally posted by BrianFD:<br /> Oprah Magazine (August, '04) had a short article in it that said the #1 problem in relationships is the desire to be "right" and win arguements, discussions, fights, etc.

Oprah magazine? <br /><br />*shakes head and slowly walks away*<br /><br />Anyway, don't understand women and starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore. Stefanie and I were talking last night about stuff that guys do (including putting up with women's... stuff) and we came to the consensus that men are just gluttons for punishment.

 

[12Footer]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Time to copy/paste, Mike. Print-out the original post and hand it to her.<br />But seriouslly, do write here a letter in your own hand, wrap it around the stem of a rose, and hand it to her. Tell her what needs to be said, only on paper.<br /><br /><br />That way she can whip it out ten years from now and say "SEE? you even said so yourself in this note!"

 

[oddjob]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Oprah magazine? <br /><br />*shakes head and slowly walks away*<br />

Brian?...tsk, tsk!

 

[JB]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Not a complete idiot, Mike.<br /><br />You were smart enough to marry her.

 

[BrianFD]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

I just KNEW I'd get some grief mentioning O mag... OK, so I'm a 'closet' Oprah reader. How many of you have the guts to admit it?!<br />No, really, what can I say? I was in the WC and it was the only thing in there to read?! Does that let me off??

 

[12Footer]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Me too, Brian. Can't hep mysef.

 

[LubeDude]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

HORMONES!! Red is black, and black is red, Thats the way it has always been, and always will be.. They dont even know what they want when they are that way.<br /><br />Thats the very reason I do not think there should ever be a woman President.<br /><br />She may even need a doctors advice! If its constant, make the apointment for her, and than you take her there and go in with her. I had a friend that I told to do this, and it worked, she didnt even know she was having trouble.

 

[agrazela]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Guys,<br /><br />This is why I boat. When my wife and I are out on the water, it is the ONLY time I am the boss!!!!!!

 

[NOSLEEP]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Idiot is to strong a description.<br />Innocent bystander is more fitting.

 

[gaugeguy]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

You have moved from denial to acceptance...

 

[lakelivin]

Re: Im a freakiin Idiot

Ever consider joint counseling? If you get a good counselor it's really not about who is right or wrong or who did what in specific cases. It's more about learning and growing as individuals as well as a couple.<br /><br />There are alot of important things that most of us are never taught in life. Things like communication skills (both ways) and how easily things can get misinterpreted if we don't have good ones. <br /><br />Things like the natural differences in personality types between people and how to effectively deal with people who are just different from you and therefore don't see the world in the same way. And I mean personality differences that aren't just limited to men vs. women in general, although I'll be the first to agree that that's a big one, lol!<br /><br />Just a kindly suggestion for consideration. After going through it I reached the conclusion that most couples would benefit from counseling at the begining of their relationship before any problems even develop.<br /><br />Unfortunately my ex and I started counseling much too late to save our marriage. But I still think counseling can be even more valuable as a learning/ growing process before problems occur than as a tool to help fix things after they're broken.<br /><br />(and no, i'm not a counselor nor do I have any ties to any)