I hate my wife!!!!

[Fishbusters]

I been trying to find a teenager short on money to mow the yard for about 3 weeks now. I can't find one. The wife said cut the grass and make sure you rake it afterwards to get all the long clippings out of it. I said okay like I usually do but then every time I look at the boat she runs to the utility room and grabs the knife I have in there ans strats muttering about boat tires gonads and such. She has me spooked. Can anyone think of a way to get around her and get the boat hooked up or do I just need to bite the bulett and cut the **** grass?

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

I recommend you take good care of the lawn. Go purchase a spreader and "fertilize" the lawn with weed killer - lots and lots of it. Add in some rock salt too! That should burn up the lawn in good fashion. Spray it with "round up". It should take almost the entire boating season to recover and grow again. Scratch your head in dismay and explain that the lawn died from over attention. Me...I live alone and just cut mine down like a military crew cut in the sun. This affords me at least an extra week between cutting it.<br /><br />In all honesty just be thankful you have a wife who cares.... there are worse situations. <br /><br />Bob

 

[crab bait]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

you waitin' around for a broke poor teenager ,,, GOD BLESS YA .. an one with the gumtion to come back an cut it again ,, AIN'T NEVER GONNA HAPPEND.. an about that grass/weed problem you have there, bob .... BELIEVE ME BROTHER,, it'll be easier to get rid of her,, BELIEVE ME .. those darn weeds ,, they keep commin' back

 

[MGuckin]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

Mow for a few weeks but move the boat around the yard making sure it shades the grass so it won't grow and cut it real short. Seriously, I agree with what Bob said, be thankfull you have a wife that cares.<br />Mike <br />

 

[62_Kiwi]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

Peter - you have my sympathy, but there are ways around this problem. How about the good ole' "Early morning fishing dash...". If she's a heavy sleeper, you can be up and gone before she wakes up - and don't whatever you do leave your cellphone on - that's the last thing you want when you're trying to have a good day fishing.<br />When you get back, you insist that you told her you were going fishing, but she can't have been listening. ...worth a try anyway.

 

[Ross J]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

Have a good heart to heart with her and make big about all the, "Love, Honesty, and trust". In no time you'll see the control freak dissolve and be replaced with the green eyed monster which is shielded shallowely below the surface. That's right, each time you mention the boat there's a job to be done, right?<br />Make a fuss, spend some $$ on her, take her out, sit patiently in the underware department and suggest she buys everything she's tried on. Then when you get home get out of the car and announce you're going out in the boat and when you get back you want a strip show with all that expensive gear she bought. Say you can't wait! You know, she'll never mention the boat again!!<br /><br />A mans fishing time is directionally proportional to the time & $ he invests in his family.<br />Ross

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

rossJ - you are a genius!!! i think i'll hafta try that one. of course i'll hafta lay some pillows on the floor behind my wife so she won't hurt herself when she faints from me telling her i really do want to go shopping...

 

[crab bait]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

an how " SMALL " all that new lingerie makes her tushy look... yea, yea that's the ticket..

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

crab - i'm just glad i knew what to expect b4 i read your comment! i hadda put my hand over my mouth to keep from waking up the queen & princess! <br />i think it caused me to develop a hernia or sumthin tho. yeah, yeah, thats the ticket, its still all in the perfect proportion.

 

[wiggler]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

I just tell folks "I let the Lord do my landscaping." If he see's fit to have a weed grow here or there who am I to question him?

 

[ebbtide176]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

wiggler, thatza good plan. and the birds have something to rest on and get some seeds for nutrition too.

 

[495v]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

You guys have it all wrong. Let me tell you how it managed this weekend. Here's the predicament. The lawn needed to be mowed, the trailer needed to be serviced and the wife wanted to get out in the boat. So I told her, I'm servicing the trailer on Sat. and you want to go out on Sun., so when am I going to mow the lawn? Well if I don't get it done Sat., we won't be able to get out Sun. Needless to say, when I got home Sat. from servicing the trailer, the lawn was mowed! Sweet deal!! Maybe some day I will give you good folks some lesson's.

 

[chumbucket]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

fter 38 yrs i stiil hear yard,grass flowers so after just putting water pump on Merc , Ill take wife to get some garden stuff , Look at it this way ,i get to look at yough snappers at the garden shops LOL Honey do list!!!!!!!!!

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

One of the buds has the same problem. But however his boat has been for sale for the last 3 years. He gets a phone call asking him to go fishing, but he tells his wife that he has a person that wants to test drive the boat that is for sale. She can't wait for him to sell that boat, so everytime someone is intrested she tells him by all means take and sell it. Actually its his way of going fishing without doing the chores. I just wonder how long this will go on before she finds out the truth?

 

[Spidybot]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

Grass? Get a goat! Should even serve as the mrs.'s pet..

 

[Beachbabe]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

I'm new around here, but my husband told me mowing the lawn was a woman's job. <br /><br />Actually, we share in the yard work. I mow and sweep up, he weedeats. This way we can both get in the boat quicker.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

After reading this post and even responding to it I consider a few things:<br /><br />1. Pray (out loud) that your wife does not see the title of the topic - the divorce court could award her the boat! <br />2. Cut you grass during the week or during the wee hours of the morning....come on boating is our R & R so we have to work for it.<br />3. Kill her with kindness, wives are harder to replace and lot's more exspensive than our boats.<br />4. Funny but husbands and wives repeat the same wedding vows.<br />5. I don't ever think I would proclaim that I hate my wife.... now maybe the ex-wife.<br />6. Do you know what is more dangerous than an angry wife? Yup-her lawyer!<br /><br />Bob

 

[Ross J]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

You're right Bob_VT.<br />My wife and I have always had an understanding that if she's ever unfaithful to me then he must have a much bigger and more expensive boat, and park it in my driveway so I can use it!!<br />To Beachbabe, marry me!!<br />Ross

 

[GarageGuy42]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

As far as finding a teenager that will get off there a** long enough to do anything even for money is very unlikely. Believe me I have 3. Thank god 1 moved out.<br />My wife and I have an understanding that if you screw around and things that aren't appropriate in a marriage you lose the game and walk away with nothing. If that would ever hold true ????<br />Everything has worked well for the 150 years that I have been married. I have learned to be very nice to your wife because you will be 1 miserable SOB if you don't.

 

[DJ]

Re: I hate my wife!!!!

Some of the responses I see on this subject really make me think our society is DOOMED!