I hate my life..........

[Tim Frank]

Re: I hate my life..........

PS~ I didn't insult the mechanic working on the car. I did however insult the toyota mechanic that drove it to and from Subaru who told me the car was fixed, and who obviously lied to me when he said the noise wasn't there when he drove it.

Unless you were in the car with him, you have no way of knowing what he heard or didn't hear. Who hasn't taken a car that has been making a weird noise to a mechanic only to have it purr like a kitten when the mechanic is on board?
If I'd been the Service manager or the Sales Manager and you insulted one of our mechanics and threw him out of your girlfriend's car, I'd have gotten out and walked back the 1/4 mile with him, you would have been banned from our shop, and if there was any outstanding service issues we would have dealt only with the OWNER.

 

[BF]

Re: I hate my life..........

not sure why you'd put yourself through all the aggravation for someone who obviously didn't want you involved in the decision making process in the first place. Even though she's younger than you, she's not a child. She would've probably driven the vehicle never noticing the noise, and traded it in in a year or so anyway. Sure, being upside down on vehicles and constantly re-financing things that depreciate so fast are bad financial decisions, but she's an adult and she's making the decisions (just like many many 20 something's these days)... Let her deal with the consequences.

To me, the bigger problem seems to be the relationship.. not the car.

that's my $.02

Dr. Phil signing off.

 

[i386]

Re: I hate my life..........

The previous poster is trying to apply logic to a problem involving a woman. In my experience, it just doesn't work that way. Handle it whichever way you think is best. In the end, you will be wrong either way.

 

[642mx]

Re: I hate my life..........

if there was any outstanding service issues we would have dealt only with the OWNER.

Bam... Hammer meet nail.

I worked at a Ford dealer for quite some time. As a technician I would have never even talked to you. The service manager wouldn't have talked to you either. Consider yourself lucky that they are even listening to you.

Not trying to be mean, but I've been there and done that.

If you scream 'lemon law' you might be surprised to find that in some states the lemon law only applies to the original owner of the vehicle, and in some it doesn't. Also, dealing with an arbitrator, dealer, and manufacturer is a real pain in the arse. I know an arbitrator and he can tell you some great stories!

My best advice is, give the shop ample time to fix it. If its not right, take it to another Subaru dealer and tell them whats going on. Eventually, you will find someone who cares and someone who can fix it.

 

[Howard Sterndrive]

Re: I hate my life..........

it's really none off my business what she buys or does with her money.

she has made that quite clear, so it's between her and the dealership...

your frustration is rooted in the fact that this woman doesn't respect your opinion.
I'd let her deal with it.

 

[haskindm]

Re: I hate my life..........

There are many "red flags" in this story, the least of which is the problem with the car. Sounds like you are dealing with a "Princess" who wants what she wants when when wants it. First she leased a car. There are some advantages to leasing, but generally it is the most expensive way to obtain transportation, which is fine IF you can afford it. Unfortunately, many people use leasing as a way to get a car that they really cannot afford. Then she did not have the discipline to stay within the mileage requirements resulting in her getting "upside down" in the car. She has now rolled that deficit into another car and is probably "upside down" in it also. She did not discuss this purchase with you (someone who obviously has some knowledge about cars) because she knew that you would advise her against the purchase. Now you want to be the hero and rescue her from this bad deal. Too late. She has made the deal without you and against your better judgment. Forget the car and let her deal with the mess she has made. It may be the cheapest lesson she will ever learn. This relationship needs much work if it is to survive and the transmission problem is tiny compared to the other issues. Unless she is willing to deal with her "Princess issues" and you are willing to deal with your control issues, you should run, not walk, for the nearest exit. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the voice of experience...

 

[SuperNova]

Re: I hate my life..........

There are many "red flags" in this story, the least of which is the problem with the car. Sounds like you are dealing with a "Princess" who wants what she wants when when wants it. First she leased a car. There are some advantages to leasing, but generally it is the most expensive way to obtain transportation, which is fine IF you can afford it. Unfortunately, many people use leasing as a way to get a car that they really cannot afford. Then she did not have the discipline to stay within the mileage requirements resulting in her getting "upside down" in the car. She has now rolled that deficit into another car and is probably "upside down" in it also. She did not discuss this purchase with you (someone who obviously has some knowledge about cars) because she knew that you would advise her against the purchase. Now you want to be the hero and rescue her from this bad deal. Too late. She has made the deal without you and against your better judgment. Forget the car and let her deal with the mess she has made. It may be the cheapest lesson she will ever learn. This relationship needs much work if it is to survive and the transmission problem is tiny compared to the other issues. Unless she is willing to deal with her "Princess issues" and you are willing to deal with your control issues, you should run, not walk, for the nearest exit. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the voice of experience...

Bam... Hammer meet nail.

 

[UnregisteredUser]

Re: I hate my life..........

Being a longtime Ford owner, I have found that a nice power amp on the stereo will fix most rattles and vibrations.

 

[dave11]

Re: I hate my life..........

Being a longtime Ford owner, I have found that a nice power amp on the stereo will fix most rattles and vibrations.

I am also familiar with that repair.

 

[jonesg]

Re: I hate my life..........

The previous poster is trying to apply logic to a problem involving a woman. In my experience, it just doesn't work that way. Handle it whichever way you think is best. In the end, you will be wrong either way.

hehehe, I'm a jerk if I do and a bigger jerk if I don't.
xactly what I was supposed to do or not do is not disclosed until later.

 

[jonesg]

Re: I hate my life..........

Someone please delete post 39 for me.

This is not a battle of the sex's. or anything else like that.

Its genuinley careing about somebody and not wanted them to get burned.
It's about being so freaking frustrated watching these mechanics from 2 dealerships now without not just a clue on to fix the car, but how to diagnose it in the first place.
It's about being so frustrated because I know I can fix the car. But I can't touch it because its under warranty, and I certainly won't be paying for parts for a car with only 25K miles on it. I am by no means qualified to rebuild a subie tranny.... But I absolutely can remove the old one and install a new complete unit. Which is all the dealer would do, because they don't rebuild them their either.
I also care about the quality of work going into the car. All I can think about is some hack mechanic, if he finally gets it right, rushing through the car because either the dealer pressuring him because they are upsidedown on time invested into the car, or because the mechanic wants to beat book time.
They are supposed to replace the shift arm bushing they installed on friday (that they think is a factory defective part) either today or tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

PS~ I didn't insult the mechanic working on the car. I did however insult the toyota mechanic that drove it to and from Subaru who told me the car was fixed, and who obviously lied to me when he said the noise wasn't there when he drove it.

heheh. you're still talking about the car eh?
Most of us want to be helpfull but theres a line that shouldn't be crossed....and yet...

I'v done all that, its the only way I learned when to step back and watch.
I can't "save" anyone from themself, I don't have that sort of power, but I once thought I did.

I have no advise to give, I'm just offering my own experiences.
I did all that stuff, I'm no better or smarter. Things started to get a lot better whan I looked at me instead of pointing at "them".
I hated my life so bad I carried resentments around in my head, it was like drinking poison and expecting the other jerks to drop dead.

 

[orion25]

Re: I hate my life..........

I have to agree with most here. Be glad you are not married. I have/had the same problem. It usually went like this:

She asks my opinion on something,
I give an answer she did not want to hear.
She does what she wanted to do in the first place.
It goes bad.
She either gets pissed but deals with it or wants me to fix it.

This went on for 4 years involving everything from making cookies with salted butter (tasted like potato chips) to various home "decorating" projects, to getting a 2nd dog. Finally she needed another car. I found a used Acura MDX in great shape. It was loaded and rode like a dream. She didn't like it. She found a Nissan Xterra. I drove it first and it rode like a tank with just the basic power features like windows and locks. She wanted it because it projected a better image then the MDX (made her feel younger in my opinion). She drove it with me and basically just rushed through it, blah, blah, lets just buy it. So we bought it.

The next day she called me in tears on her way to work. It rides so rough, it is loud, etc. Basically told her too bad. I tried to explain these things in the test drive but she would not listen since her mind was made up. Then I told her she could try and get out of it but that was pretty much going to be impossible and I was not helping this time.

To make a long story short, the marriage is over. She is now paying for the Xterra and paying a divorce lawyer. In addition she is upside down in the Xterra since we bought it right before the gas price explosion (it gets 16mpg on a good day). Basically I came to the conclusion that I would be happier moving on with my life and she did the same. We are splitting up and thankfully there will be no fight and there are no kids. All property has been divided up and we will be filing in a month or so............

 

[INJUN]

Re: I hate my life..........

Just go fishing and everything will be fine.

 

[Kiwi Phil]

Re: I hate my life..........

Jason
Here is my take on your situation.
I'm not meaning to have a go at you, but I will be frank.

1. the lady is not your wife.
2. it is not your money.
3. it was not your place to choose the car...her choice is none of your business.
4. it is not your car.
5. of all the people involved, (incl dealer mechanics etc) you are the only one with a problem.
6. if the dealer learns the 5 points above, he will tell you to get lost.
7. when your woman grows up, she'll probably do the same.

Everybody I have ever known, gets pretty excited when they buy a new car....how long did you allow your girlfriends excitement to last....

Best solution is the one from Unregisterduser....buy a power amp and some flowers, and be nice about this car for ever more. It's none of your business.

Cheers
Phillip

 

[orion25]

Re: I hate my life..........

Jason
Here is my take on your situation.
I'm not meaning to have a go at you, but I will be frank.

1. the lady is not your wife.
2. it is not your money.
3. it was not your place to choose the car...her choice is none of your business.
4. it is not your car.
5. of all the people involved, (incl dealer mechanics etc) you are the only one with a problem.
6. if the dealer learns the 5 points above, he will tell you to get lost.
7. when your woman grows up, she'll probably do the same.

Everybody I have ever known, gets pretty excited when they buy a new car....how long did you allow your girlfriends excitement to last....

Best solution is the one from Unregisterduser....buy a power amp and some flowers, and be nice about this car for ever more. It's none of your business.

Cheers
Phillip

Spoken like a true relationship diplomat!

 

[kyle f]

Re: I hate my life..........

I am surprised any of the people involved will even speak to you at this point. Making the tech walk a 1/4 mile and calling him an idiot... I wonder who is really the mature one in this relationship.

If you act like this about all the situations in your relationship, its no wonder she didn't want your opinion first.

Dude, she will leave you soon.

 

[triumphrick]

Re: I hate my life..........

I have to agree with most here. Be glad you are not married. I have/had the same problem. It usually went like this:

She asks my opinion on something,
I give an answer she did not want to hear.
She does what she wanted to do in the first place.
It goes bad.
She either gets pissed but deals with it or wants me to fix it.

This went on for 4 years involving everything from making cookies with salted butter (tasted like potato chips) to various home "decorating" projects, to getting a 2nd dog. Finally she needed another car. I found a used Acura MDX in great shape. It was loaded and rode like a dream. She didn't like it. She found a Nissan Xterra. I drove it first and it rode like a tank with just the basic power features like windows and locks. She wanted it because it projected a better image then the MDX (made her feel younger in my opinion). She drove it with me and basically just rushed through it, blah, blah, lets just buy it. So we bought it.

The next day she called me in tears on her way to work. It rides so rough, it is loud, etc. Basically told her too bad. I tried to explain these things in the test drive but she would not listen since her mind was made up. Then I told her she could try and get out of it but that was pretty much going to be impossible and I was not helping this time.

To make a long story short, the marriage is over. She is now paying for the Xterra and paying a divorce lawyer. In addition she is upside down in the Xterra since we bought it right before the gas price explosion (it gets 16mpg on a good day). Basically I came to the conclusion that I would be happier moving on with my life and she did the same. We are splitting up and thankfully there will be no fight and there are no kids. All property has been divided up and we will be filing in a month or so............

Did you get to keep the Larson??

 

[orion25]

Re: I hate my life..........

Did you get to keep the Larson??

Yes.

 

[Tim Frank]

Re: I hate my life..........

Did you get to keep the Larson??

Yes.

And they say there are no such things as fairy-tale happy endings....

 

[jonesg]

Re: I hate my life..........

Jason
Here is my take on your situation.
I'm not meaning to have a go at you, but I will be frank.

1. the lady is not your wife.
2. it is not your money.
3. it was not your place to choose the car...her choice is none of your business.
4. it is not your car.
5. of all the people involved, (incl dealer mechanics etc) you are the only one with a problem.
6. if the dealer learns the 5 points above, he will tell you to get lost.
7. when your woman grows up, she'll probably do the same.

Everybody I have ever known, gets pretty excited when they buy a new car....how long did you allow your girlfriends excitement to last....

Best solution is the one from Unregisterduser....buy a power amp and some flowers, and be nice about this car for ever more. It's none of your business.

Cheers
Phillip

phil is my hero,

And when asking for advise ,
we always run the risk that someone will not co-sign our bs.
And for that, we ought to be gratefull.

"Who is more foolish,
the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?"
- Maurice Freehill