Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

[lakelivin]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Great points. Job issues with your dad aside: I'd first plant the seeds of the advantages (let them soak in rather than forcing them on her). Then after awhile I'd ask her if there was anything that would make it work from her perspective. It may be flying her back monthly, flying her parents out every couple of months. Season opera, theater, or pro sporting events tickets that you can't afford now. Letting her pick the house of HER dreams. Negotiate a little, but only if it's absolutly necessary (i.e., give her as much of what she wants as you can comfortably live with). <br /><br />If you come up with terms she can live with make sure you follow through on them.<br /><br />If you push her into it you risk future resentment and relationship issues. But if you can get her involved in coming up with things that would make it work for her, you stand a decent chance of helping her build excitement and support for the opportunity. <br /><br />Plant the seed and see if you can get her to nourish it instead of pushing. That in itself could generate resistance.

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

I've been there. I sat down and talked to my wife telling her my lifelong dream of working the family business. It was my uncle not my father. She saw what it meant to me and went along for the ride. Moved 4 hours from her home and family. <br />My problem, I did not buy into the business. I trusted that the family would bow out and retire like was promised. Most days I ran the show alone, but then there were days that I was a subordinate. Any decision I made went under the microscope. Even the decisions that made big dollars were criticised because "that's not the way we have done it before". Turned out in the end there was a death with no will, a death with a will, and me in the end working for 13 people who had no clue about the business and believed it was bigger and more profitable than it was. Greed and jealousy took over and I left.<br />Bottom line though for your survey, talk to her seriously. Explain what you want and why, explain your true feelings. If the love is strong then she will support and help the decision. If not, find out exactly what the problem is.

 

[roscoe]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Its obviously a football thing.<br />She just can't survive without her Packer fix, and can't imagine being a a Browns fan.<br /><br />Cleveland to Milw, Madison, or Appleton is less than 2 hours away, via plane. And costs about the same as gas and auto expense.<br /><br />You do live in a beautiful area and have the northwoods to play in. Been thru Ohio many times and it has some beautiful areas too, but my memories of Cleveland (the actual city) are not good ones. Seems to be a city in crisis. WTAM 1100 am, the Monster on the lake news coverage seems to have a few major scandals every day.<br /><br />But back to the real problem, you and the wife.<br />Could you two, and your father, commit to trying the Cleveland deal for 2-3 full years? If she or you are not satisfied, could you get yourselves back to Wisconsin and get back into decent jobs?

 

[BigPoppaG]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Originally posted by KaGee:<br /> <br />2) that even when your father decides to retire, that he remain for a while as a figurehead, for the appearance of stability if nothing else.

Great advice KaGee.<br />Friend of mine took over his fathers plumbing business and kept the old man around for a year. He is now retired and enjoying life with his house and boat on Lake Gaston NC. Comes by once a month to see how things are going. The son has grown the business and now only needs to work when he wants.

 

[Ralph 123]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Dawg, that sux! Kinda went through something similar when I trusted a friend. Never again. From now on, everything is in writing and legally binding.

 

[mattttt25]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

divorce her now. that way she won't be entitled to the extra cash you'll be making when you take over the company. see how easy that was?

 

[eeboater]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Well you guys make good points about maintaining the level of business and quality that my father can provide. I'm not truly worried about that. Everything I have learned computer-related is from my father. I have worked for/with him before when I was young. <br /><br />As far as losing relationships when he leaves, the plan is ultimately to be working with him for 5 years or more before he bows out. I think this would be a sufficient amount of time to prove myself that I am an equal replacement for me father.<br /><br />Kagee, you make a great point about getting it in writing. I will take care of all that if and when I commit to it.<br /><br />But fact of the matter is, nothings going to happen without Mrs. EEboater's authorization. I think LakeLiving states a good route. If I just plant the seeds in her brain over the next few years, maybe she'll come around. When we graduated from High School, she was ready to move to Cleveland with me (where I originally when to college.) But now she has "down home" syndrome where she doesn't want to move away from her parents, friends, etc.<br /><br />Sean

 

[neumanns]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Where was?.....Oh ya 26 and no kids.....What was the question, I got lost daydreaming! I cannot seem to get past that fantasy!!

 

[Andrew Leigh]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Hi Sean a couple of my thoughts<br /><br />Ask your Dad if you could start a franchise of his business where you stay. This would allow you to see if you like the business and will give your wife the opportunity to see the potential success. If need be you could still take over his business in time, appointing a competant manager to run the business in your absence, you could make bi-monthly visits to check on his progress. Don't be limited, try think laterally to find a solution. Don't compromise, find a good commercial alternative else you will be caught in the middle and end up with an angry Father and Wife.<br /><br />Beware of the young bull old bull scenario, working with dad 24/7 may well put a slight spin on the relationship. When we are young we tend to want to reinvent the wheel that dad has already perfected. 5 years is a long time to understudy someone as you will get impatient for the job. You mention already having worked for your Dad, then perhaps 2 - 3 years is sufficient time. This gives you more opportunity to "get your ducks in a row" with the Wife.<br /><br />Establish what your dream is, I mean seriously. Is it to earn 10X? To have a family life? To run a business? It is very easy to, when presented with an opportunity, to "dream" oneself into the idea. Sit down with momma and list the pro's and con's (see yourself in 10 years time). Try weight these to give the amount of importance and come up with a score for and against. <br /> <br />Finally a couple of sobering sayings perhaps to give you food for thought.<br /><br />"The opportunity of a lifetime is only any good when taken in the lifetime of the opportunitity".<br /><br />"Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement".<br /><br />"Diplomacy is the art of letting somebody else have your way".<br /><br />Hope you can get something from this.<br /><br /><br />Cheers<br />Andrew

 

[12Footer]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Saying, "shoulda/woulda/coulda" for the rest of your natural life should not be in the cards. Boogie on down the line. Let her sort it out later.

 

[SoulWinner]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

The best thing I ever did for my wife was to get her away from her family and see what a bucket of vipers they are. She is so much happier not being involved in thier idiotic drama. So I say screw the inlaws and make the move. Do what is clearly best for yourself, your family and your future. If she can't see that or is gonna become a gargantuan wailing bizatch on the issue, well, there ya go, maybe best going on without her.<br /><br />Now, after 18 years with my honey bunney, I couldn't take two steps if she weren't by my side, so maybe I'm just talking out of my behind.

 

[Ralph 123]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

ROFLMAO @ SW! "bucket of vipers," "Idiotic drama" good ones SW! Now, tell us how really feel

 

[Stumpknocker]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

This channel is nothing but soap operas. Somebody change the channel please.

 

[KaGee]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

But fact of the matter is, nothings going to happen without Mrs. EEboater's authorization.

That is the reality. Unless she goes willingly, you are only asking for trouble. Then all the money in the world won't matter.

 

[Boomyal]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Get her pregnant eeboater, then her focus will be in the home and not outside. Then simply move the home to the new location.<br /><br />IMHO, if the opportunity is as you say, she is being very selfish and would most likely be cutting off her nose to spite her face. In addition to all of that her perspective is not very Biblical.

 

[wajajaja]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

In today world of comunications, you can be a consultant from anywhere u wanna be, and if the firm is solid enough to support a upstart at 10x the going rate for a relative, then it can handle the expense of a remote office, and some traval expense periodicaly to the home office. and happynest abounds and creates productivity.<br /> You will also be your own making apart from dad,in the distant regional office, even better if he sends a senior over you in the beginning. <br /> nothing is more destructive to a company than JUNIOR taking over without paying the dues.

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

ee, where at in Ohio?<br />Ohio has the potential to be better than WI, just depends on where at in OH