Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

[ezbtr]

Was just curious if anyone knew the Vietnamese customs, my daughters boyfriend is Viet., they comin up here to see me and son. His folks sure seem rude on phone(least the Mom), what is their culture, habits, etc.? They seem to eat out all the time and have 3-4 kids of their own at home(So. CA.) who are all between 13 and 21) . I'm just curious, Thanks, Heinz<br />P.S. He will be staying here with me/us(kids 6 and 15)(in living room on couch) for a few days. Hey I gotta put my best foot fwd., dont want to alienate my daughter(18). They've been going out for at least 2-3 years, he 21. And she is living w/him and his family for last 6 mos. - is good thing, my daughter has him scared half to death of me - fear is good............

 

[OBJ]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

My Son, eldest, has been married to a Chinese girl, full blooded from China, now for two year. They too lived together and now have a house and daughter. <br /><br />It seems to me the Asian person is a little more serious than we are and may not laugh at what we do. They may not also understand some of our phrases that we may use....example...I was doing a little work on my sons Harley once and Dawn asked how it was going. I used a common phrase, "It's coming together.". Dawn wasn't real sure what that ment and she asked about it.<br /><br />You may find their eating habits different. I notice that Dawn will eat for breakfast what is left over from dinner the evening before. And if the Mom likes to cook, let her. You may get some pleasant culinary surprises. Viet. folks like spicey food a lot. I know this from my time spent in Nam. <br /><br />Ask about what the father does when you see them and be interested in them. They, Asians', seem to like this. I meet Dawns' father on a couple of occasions and asked many questions about what he did, he's a retired journalist and still lives in China, I asked about his childhood and just things in general about his life in China. Dawns Mom died several years ago. A lot of the talks we had were through Dawn as Baa', Chinese for Dad, don't speak but a couple words of English.... <br /><br />I found it was a cultural treat meeting Dawn and some of her family. Meet her SIL too....she's from Mongolia....she cooks too....yum!!

 

[12Footer]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Thier culture is Very serious people. The family hieracrchy is more important than anything else. I dated a vietnamese girl many moons ago. Her parents (mother especially) was a real piece of werk...It's why we broke-up. After each visit, I just wanted to biatch-slap the father, and he was very nice when she or mom wasn't around, and before I started dating her. The mother would not say two words to me...ever.<br />Thier culture is into zero waisted motion. They are punctual to a fault, and are impatient in all things buisness. What i mean is, they rush the customer to buy, make room for next customer and leave."You buy shoes and go now!"<br />They do not mean to be rude,but it's how they run thier buisnesses "efficiantly".

 

[crab bait]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

if'n you see a throw rug on the floor that ain't suppose to be,,, walk around it carefully..

 

[dogsdad]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

I work with a lot of Vietnamese. I like some of them very much as individuals, but as a group I think they are very rude and untrustworthy people.<br /><br /><br />-dd-

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

We call them rude, but that is how their culture is.<br /><br />If he has grown up in the USA, he should have acclimatized.<br /><br />My good friend in high school was chinese, moved here when he was 10 and was very nice and outgoing. His parents were the traditional rude.<br /><br />My wife is from Thailand, and they have a completely different culture. Very relaxed.<br /><br />My wife hated shopping in Hong Kong because the salespeople were so pushy. When we eat in the Chinese market here isn Houston, they are the same way, pushy. "hurry up, what are you going to eat."<br /><br />If they move to the USA before they are 10, they should have American customs mostly.<br /><br />Ken

 

[theriver]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

I don't think you should go into it with any prejudice (ie: canvassing iboats). Give him all benefit of the doubt, and courtesy, and see how things go. Treat him as though he's like you.<br /><br />My wife and I have some friends who are Vietnamese, and apart from an accent, you couldn't meet nicer, more considerate people. So to generalize their culture as rude is unfair. BTW-he has a harrowing story of how he escaped Vietnam with his wife and baby during the war. He's now a very successful computer engineer making huge coin.

 

[dogsdad]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

This is MY culture.<br /><br />They would be free to judge my behavior any way they like in their country and in their culture.<br /><br />In my country, and in my culture---which is where they are---they are a rude group. <br /><br />They have little or no rspect for position in line. They do not recognize others' desire to walk unimpeded where they should be able to do so. They do not think rules apply to them. They seem to know little, and care even less, about the concept we cal "common courtesy."<br /><br />As I said, I know several Vietnamese people who I admire and like very much. But, as a group, I have little regard for them.<br /><br /><br />-dd-

 

[cmyers_uk]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Ask your daughter for tips on culture / habits she should be able to make sure you dont drop any clangers e.g pork to a muslim etc. Ignore generalisations on whether they are rude or not, your daughter likes him so start with an open mind and Im sure you will get on fine. Obviously he wont be good enought but that normal isnt it

 

[ezbtr]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Thanks guys! I do beleive he was born here, or at least he's been here for a long time, speaks totally normal English etc. I think he is very Americanized so Im not worryin bout what he eats, hey I LOVE spicy! Oh I'm not prejudiced either, as long as he's respectful and treats my daughter well, I'm good. I'm real big on the respect thing though. Have spoken once I think to his Mom on phone , asking if my daughter was there, and she seemed kind of rude, but quite frankly that doesn't bother me - hey I'm 400 mi. away, how often would I possibly have to put up with that? I meet all types of folks when I travel throughout the U.S. for work, I've seen rude, obnoxious folks of EVERY creed and color, not just one certain type. But I do really appreciate the input, especially on their culture. Thanks, Heinz

 

[ezbtr]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Oh yeah, he definitely isn't good enough yet they are getting a much better "deal" than I, I think.

 

[12Footer]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Originally posted by theriver:<br /> I don't think you should go into it with any prejudice (ie: canvassing iboats). Give him all benefit of the doubt, and courtesy, and see how things go. Treat him as though he's like you.<br /><br />

<br />What you label prejudice, I label generalizations. I know your game.I learned it years ago.

 

[12Footer]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

edit double-post

 

[12Footer]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

edit tripple post

 

[theriver]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

12 Footer, If you read my post, I suggest the word prejudice in the context as to not judge him prematurely and irrationally.<br /><br />What word better defines derogatory terms like:<br /><br />"as a group I think they are very rude and untrustworthy people."<br /><br />Generalization: A principle, statement, or idea having general application<br /><br />Prejudice: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

 

[OBJ]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

I don't usually get into posting what I think or feel, someone needs advice and if I think I can help, I'll give what I can.....it's there to use or ignore...but I have to ask you, theriver, I understand your use of the word "prejudice" but what has me a little puzzled is right after it you say "(ie: canvassing iboats)".......not real sure what context that is in...... I'm not looking to "flame" or start anything....just curious.

 

[12Footer]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Originally posted by theriver:<br /> 12 Footer, If you read my post, I suggest the word prejudice in the context as to not judge him prematurely and irrationally.<br /><br />What word better defines derogatory terms like:<br /><br />"as a group I think they are very rude and untrustworthy people."<br /><br />Generalization: A principle, statement, or idea having general application<br /><br />Prejudice: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Nope not biting this time.

 

[Twidget]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

I used to work with a guy who escaped Viet Nam in a 'boat'.(That was an amazing story) I spent quite a bit of time in the orient as a child, then while in the Navy. Maybe that is why I got along so well with him. To me he was one of the most loyal, honest people I ever met. Others considered him abrupt and sometimes rude, he never was intentionally that way though.<br /><br />I am married to a German, her youngest brother is the only native American in the group. With the exception of my wife, he is also the only non jerk in the group. Guess its all in the point of view.

 

[theriver]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Just means "getting various opinions"...

 

[OBJ]

Re: Does anyone know Vietnamese families, etc.? (My daughters boyfriends family)

Thanks theriver.....<br /><br />I think Heinz was just trying to get info on the Viet customs which I don't blame him for....the opinions...just came with it. When I first met my DIL's father, I didn't know what to do or say so I just hugged him.... A hug seems to be universal, sorta like a "Dam Glad Ta' Meet Ya'" thing.