Bumps on the head of my baby.

[Twidget]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

A friends sister had someone reported for spanking her son in the Wal Mart parking lot. CPS is not required to identify the person who turns someone in.<br /><br />She ended up in court, because she does spank her kids. She said she hadnt spanked any of them on the day in question. The judge evidently told her that if he had another report, he would take away her son. She told him that he might as well take all 5 of here kids then, because she spanked them all when they needed it. She still has all of her kids.

 

[aspeck]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I get bumps on my head all the time and no one seems to care!

 

[sangerwaker]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Take it from someone with experience here , JB is right on the money, as usual. You do NOT want protective services involved. It doesn't matter to them if you're guilty or not, they take your kid. Absolutely the opposite of the criminal system in the fact you ARE assumed guilty until proven innocent.<br /><br />Be careful Mark. Most people are only doing their job and rightfully so in protecting the children. It's the people that assume and ask questions later you have to be careful of. I totally agree with the need to protect children, but our system is really screwed up IMO.<br /><br />Once you get into "the system", it's next to impossible to get out. As JB pointed out, it can get very costly both emotionally and financially.<br /><br />I am not trying to scare you Mark, just giving you a warning to be careful and explain yourself fully to anyone who asks questions.

 

[fixin]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Last year my seven year old was playing around with a blanket on his head,falls down and cracked his lip open on the T.V. stand in their room.He had to get three stiches.Talk about dirty looks.They actualy had us leave the room so that they could ask him some Questions.I'm all for protecting the children,but$#!^% kids get hurt.I broke my nose 3 times by the time I was 10 and don't remember anyone asking me anything.

 

[Twidget]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

In Texas, medical people can be fined if they dont report suspected abuse. They have everyone by the short hairs on that subject.<br /><br />My son sprained his left wrist a year or so ago. We went to the emergency room, he was holding it like he had broken it. The Doctor asked me to leave so he could talk him. I did. The Doctor came out laughing a few minutes later. Evidently he asked my son what happened, he told him a bigger kid did it to him playing football in the front yard. The doctor must have asked him a few more times, he said my son double up his right fist and told him if he didnt want some of it, he had better quit saying mean things about his Daddy.

 

[cajun555]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I had cps called on us by the school because the wife wouldn't sign papers on one of our kids that she was a slow learner. Had no idea that cps was called untill one of my neighbors asked me what was going on, that cps had been over to talk with them about the wife and I. Cps had finally talked to the wife and wanted me to call and talk to them aswell. I refused to go out of my way to talk to them that they could come back to my house and talk to me. They never came back to my house. The case was finally dropped and we were found to be good parents.

 

[neumanns]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

This thread made me laufgh, let me explain. No offense intended but if some of yall had been to the ER under the injuries my wife and I have been there under you wouldn't have been concerned about brusises. A cut lip that required several stitces due to a magazine rack...it was ugly for a long time. A major rug rash from an entry mat that was taken in simply for a proffesiopnal cleaning. Scraped legs, (major scrapes) due to being dragged by a car...This really was a funny story involving the wife and a car cleaning incident. She felt horable. I felt worse for the wife than the daughter. I fall from a carseat onto walmarts concrete floor that had managment wanting to call an ambulance that resulted in a large hematoma and last but most tramatic was an eleven foot fall to the basment floor during a renovation project that resulted in a multiple fractured skull that resulted in a pedi ICU facility for four days with a complementary brain bleed. I truly thought he would not survive as imediatly afterwards he was bleeding from both ears.<br /><br />I can certianly relate to your concerns, but don't sweat the small stuff. All the above were freak accidents that under normal supervision were not preventable. Each one held the concern of CPS snooping, none brought that result...thankfully. If your story is consistant with the injury's and do not appear to be from neglect you should have nothing to fear. Remeber these people see lots of injury's and are quite good at determining if they are consistant. My wife is a ER nurse and has made the call several times, I assure you most all of you would have made the same call under the cercumstances of wich she has. And even if it is embarrising tell the truth, because if you don't then things don't seam to add up and that brings trouble.

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Here the doctors are required to ask questions. At the first school physicals they are required to ask children about "the good touch, bad touch". It is a good idea, but you have to consider the source and really walk carefully. <br />When CPS is called for suspected abuse here they check into it as all calls. If there is nothing to back it up they make sure the family doesn't need support or any assistance, then they close the case. The big push these days is to leave children in the homes. <br />It is all a money game. Some expert decided about 10 years ago that it is better to take all children out of abusive homes. The feds gave all kinds of grants for childrens homes and foster homes, and CPS jumped onto the money wagon. Every kid that we suspected of being abused, if there was any evidenbe to backit up, was removed until further investigation. <br />Since then another expert decided it was better for the children and families to leave the kids in the home and do family counseling or easy anger classes. All kinds of money was given in these areas, and additiuonal social workers were added to the ranks to handle the added case load. So of course CPS and the department of health and human services jumped on this money train. Now unless we can prove an immediate danger to the life or safety of the child, we cannot remove the child from the home without due process. The last child I removed took 18 months, repeated abuse calls, several different "case plans" ordering parenting classes and easy anger classes. Finally after a child sexual assault case I was able to take all 3 kids from that home. The parents signed off rights immediately and have left the area.<br />My daughter now 3 fell on the sidewalk and split her forehead. It almost healed and she did it again. The she got staff infection, so it took months to heal. Then of course as soon as she healed to a nice pink layer of new skin, she did it again! About a year of a huge scab on her forehead right in the middle. Finaly healed. <br />I<br />One of the requirements of investigating reports of abuse is to rule out other causes. We are trained to recognize all injuries compared to how they supposedly happened. Kids get certain kinds of injuries by nature. As long as the injury is consistent with the report, and is consistant with a normal injury for children then questiuons will be asked but that will be the end of it.<br />Head injuries are very common in the frontal portion of the head. Don't worry about the pointing and whispering. This kind of injury is common. Now if a parent says the child fell down the stairs, and the child has a cut on the crown of his head, this is not typical for a fall at that age so will be checked into. or if a child has a broken arm but the exray shows the bones twisted or a pulling break over an impact break, then it will be checked into.

 

[Stumpknocker]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Mark42..... be very careful. Trust nobody. A couple of bumps like that in short order and you could be in be trouble proving you are innocent. I know people that found out the hard way.

 

[DJ]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

It's a shame what this society has come to. <br /><br />True, there are many dirt bag parents out there. That's a shame.<br /><br />I was a clumsy kid, I guess it never left me. <br /><br />We had a family doctor, down the street, he was always asking me what he needed to sew up today?<br /><br />It seems my head was always the target area.<br /><br />This is just a sign of the "government" knowing better than you do.<br /><br />What a shame. I'm glad my child rearing days are over.

 

[Parrott_head]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I would think that if you had an older child that would vouch for your loving care that things would go a lot easier.<br /><br />Let's not get mad at DHS departments, let's get royally mad at the poor excuse for parents that have put communities in this state of mind.<br /><br />I have substitiute taught at my kids elementary school. One of the girls that is close friends with my daughter saw me there and came up to give me a hug.<br /><br />I wanted to hug her back but was uncomfortable doing so. I went ahead and hugged back.<br /><br />Later I told the girls mother that if she got a report of a substitute male teacher hugging her daughter that it was only me. She just laughed it off.

 

[Link]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Sad as it is, here in the state of WA a clerk can report a mother abusing "BEATING" her 3 yr old in a supermarket. We used to call this spanking. CPS Will come to the store and WILL take the child away "pending investigation" <br />Then just re-read JBs posts.<br /><br />I know that sounds wild but it happens.<br />Our system in this state in out of control.<br />A local talk show did this subject a couple years and 18 of 20 mothers said they refused to discipline their childern outside the house.<br /><br />On the bright side for cuts and bruises your better off with ER as they are trained and even though required to ask can use their own judgement.<br /><br />Most are moms and dads and know kids bounce pretty good

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Child Molesters are innocent until proven guilty beyond a doubt. Parents are guilty until proven innocent. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, not making sense.

 

[Tinkerer]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

She told me the nurses were talking in hushed tones while looking and pointing to Eric. She felt very uncomfortable. Then one nurse asks him how he got his "ouch-ouch". Well Eric was only about 12 months old and couldn't talk. Still can't. But that made by wife feel even worse.<br /><br />I tell her to ignore people like that, and kids his age always have bruises on their heads. But she is worried that with all the focus today on child abuse someone will complain to Dyfus. <br /><br />What are the chances of getting into difficulty with Dyfus? [/QB]

As nothing happened it looks like it worked out right. For all your wife knows the nurses might have been worried it was some sort of infectious disease that required special handling. <br /><br />It's good if medical and other occupations like teachers are alert to the risk of child abuse as long as they are balanced and objective. The problem is that some of them are just idiots who see abuse every time a kid gets a bruise or a sore bum. <br /><br />Here's a good summary of the harm done by the long discredited sore bum (anal dilation) test devised by a probably well-intentioned but misguided doctor which caused child protection hysteria that took lots of kids away from their parents and subjected the parents to community vilification and did untold damage to all the people involved: http://www.childrenuk.co.uk/choct2002/choct2002/pragnell cleveland abuse.html <br /><br />Here's a more general overview of the issue: http://www.childrenuk.co.uk/choct/oct2000/childabuse.htm <br /><br />It'd also be good if all child protection people had to have kids of their own at least a few years older than the ones they're assessing. <br /><br />An lot of child protection officers are young women with a strong political belief in how men oppress and abuse women and children but not much life experience or commonsense. No, this is not an uninformed and prejudiced opinion but one born of dealing with them off and on for close to 30 years in my work.<br /><br />A few years after our first kid was born my wife, who was a primary teacher, said she was mortified by the book learning advice and uninformed personal opinions she'd given to parents during her 15 years of previous teaching. I've heard the same from other teachers.<br /><br />A lot of us are super-sensitive to the risk of allegations of child abuse in this stupid world where normal people are worried and the bad ones just continue to offend regardless. <br /><br />Like an earlier poster my 12 month old daughter had to go to the doctor with an injury to her privates. This was about 10 years ago when the radical feminist "all men are rapists / wife beaters / guilty of incest against their daughters" cr*p was at its height here. I sweated it out until my wife came back from the doctor, by which time I had envisaged myself being arrested, interrogated, charged, tried, imprisoned and beaten up and maybe raped in prison for something I didn't do. Turned out it wasn't an injury but just an inflamed fold in the skin that is common and means nothing. <br /><br />Around the same time a mate of mine couldn't understand why his father refused even to go into the bathroom when my mate's three girls under 7 y.o. were in the bath, which he'd refused to do since the first one was born. After being pressed grandpa said he'd love to but didn't ever want to be in a position where he could be accused of molesting them.<br /><br />I'm afraid I take the same view. My 11 y.o. daughter can't have girls over unless my wife is home. That's always been my rule, nobody else's.<br /><br />So like lots of others my daughter misses out on stuff that previous generations of kids had because I and other dads are worried about being accused of something we're not going to do while the people who will do it are encouraging kids to come to their homes.<br /><br />Where did life go wrong in the last 20 to 30 years?<br /><br />I know, but it'd be politically incorrect to say it.

 

[neumanns]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

If I could adress this spanking outside the store issue. In Minnesota spanking is allowed, as long as it is openhanded...Ya know I agree, if it is closed handed that is more of a beating than a discipline. I spank my kids and am not afraid to do so in public, it is my right. However if I see ya going after your kid with closed fist, I would interviene and think the state should be allowed to investigate also. There are horrer stories that can be related to almost any issue this one included. I am sure that is where most of the histaria arises from, overall I would imagine far more good is done by these folks than harm. Continue on Mark in the good faith that if it were to be nvestigated you would be cleared of any wrongdoing, and take comfert in the fact that there are checks and balances in place that help children that are in need of intervention.

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

A good story for this topic. Last week a deputy called me to investigate a report of sexual assault on a child by the father. Since I am training this deputy to be an investigator to help my case I told him I would assist him with this one. I specialize in this type of case and handle all of them in my county. <br />In these cases we have our first obligation to protect the child and find out what happened. I feel our next obligation is to protect the suspect in case it is a false report. <br />This one, the mother took the child to the doctor after a visit with father, complaining of redness and pain to the childs privates. She also claimed there was blood in the panties. The doctor did a very good job finding irritation but no sign of intrusion. She said it was possibly true, but no conclusive signs of abuse. Mother changed her story several times. Finally we got the underwear and tested with Luminol finding nothing. More digging found that the parents have a custody hearing coming up in a few weeks. Mother said that a few weeks ago the child had a bad injury to her privates. Investigation found that the day care workers had a table turned upside down fixing it when three children came running in. This child fell on the table leg hurting herself. There was an injury report as required by law filed with the parents, the day care, and the state on this with several independant witnesses. <br />Turned out all reports were false. The mother was trying to set up the father. We can't prove malice so nothing will happen to her. <br />CPS wouldn't get involved because both it was a weekend but also there was not enough evidence to prove anything. Family advocacy would not get involved because of the doctor doing a good job with her assessment.

 

[Tinkerer]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

More digging found that the parents have a custody hearing coming up in a few weeks. [/QB]

It's hardly a first, is it? <br /><br />I've been a lawyer (legal aid which is why I have a cheap boat and am chasing cheapskate repairs etc) for over 25 years and I've heard these allegations often enough. <br /><br />Occasionally they're shown to be true.<br /><br />Occasionally they're clearly disproved. <br /><br />A lot of the time it's unclear and you can put whatever slant you like on it depending on your own analysis or opinion. <br /><br />But the funny thing is how many of the allegations arise in the course of family law proceedings and then subside when they're over. <br /><br />Which seems a bit odd in those cases where mum, who is usually the one making the allegations, consents to court orders giving the evil dad access to the alleged victim child that mum was so worried about a few weeks, months or years before.<br /><br />A bit like intervention (family protection / apprehended violence ) orders that get tangled up with family law proceedings that aren't going the way one of the parties wants.<br /><br />Not that anybody would manipulate the legal system in the highly charged atmosphere of family law disputes.