jtexas
Fleet Admiral
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2003
- Messages
- 8,646
My daugher, L, (age 15) (actually neice/foster child) sometimes forgets to shut off her aim instant message windows after she's done with the computer. I wouldn't eavesdrop without a good reason, but last night the words "I'm losing my virginity" just jumped off the screen. The conversation I read between L and her boyfriend, M, (age 17) left no doubt that they've decided to become intimate, and it gets worse.<br /><br />These two youngsters believe that it would be a good idea to have a child. Mrs. jtexas, J, had a chat with L last night & convinced her that we knew what happened, so L admitted to the act, and that it was unprotected. J asked "what are your plans?" "We can live with M's parents. He says his Mom'll be mad for about a week then she'll get over it & be okay with it." We know M's folks, they're just a normal family so we know there's no way they'd agree.<br /><br />I'm sure it's a normal teenage fantasy, playing house, being married with a child, very romantic, while everybody else in the world is telling you it won't work, you're too young, etc...but how many teens actually believe it & act on it?<br /><br />This wasn't an impulse decision. I checked the browser history - she's been researching teen reproductive rights, whether parents can compel a minor to have an abortion or give a child up for adoption.<br /><br />J & I met with M's mom & dad this morning; they were as shocked & disturbed as we were. We'll be proceeding with a united front.<br /><br />M and L have been dating for about 8 months and it's clear that they believe believe they're "in love," in other words this young man isn't a "sexual predator;" if there was even the slightest chance of that I would not hesitate to call the police right away, which was my first impulse.<br /><br />Preliminary plan of action:<br />We'll do what we can to limit their time together while trying not to push them into a "Romeo & Juliet" scenario. We can't cuff 'em & put bars on the windows. His parents will try to get him to see how serious a criminal complaint would be. Even though I didn't threaten it, it's still not out of the question and I know it's on their minds. M's mom is going to have a one-on-one chat with L this afternoon, to clear up any misconceptions about what would happen should they succeed. J is trying to determine whether a "morning after" medication is available & if we can compel L to take it. We're scheduling an appt with L's doctor for a check-up & STD screening. And researching the feasibility of long-term birth control injections (effective for a month or longer).<br /><br />You can counsel teens about pre-marital relations, take 'em to church, do your best to equip 'em and hope they make good choices, and you hear sad stories about accidental teen pregnancies, but who could have predicted they would try to get pregnant?
