What made you want to pop the question?

[JB]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

1955 was a different planet. We didn't have the alternative of faking a partnership or "trial" relationships. Divorce rate was a tiny fraction of what it is today.

What made me pop the question? I had a wholly different view of what marriage is than people seem to have today. It seemed the next step in having a real life, and I knew I had found the love of my life.

 

[aspeck]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

My values ARE much like the values JB mentioned in 1955. Trial runs were NOT an option for ME. We were best friends and had known each other for about 11 years. 10 1/2 years after asking "Will you ..." the only regret I have is that I didn't resolve the conflict in me sooner and ask earlier. We have a great marriage, wonderful kids, and I couldn't imagine living without her.

So, what made me ask, well, I was going overseas for an extended period of time and, well, I decided I didn't want to be alone any more, I wanted to share the experience and my life with her and no one else would do. No sense looking for "something better" because there just wasn't any better to be found. I still feel that way. I have the best wife in the world and would not trade her for anything or anybody.

Scared ... you betcha! Sorry ... not even for a minute (not even in the middle of a disagreement). Like I said, I only wish I had asked sooner so we would have more years together.

 

[levittownnick]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

It is some-what related to the feeling one gets when giving a gift to someone that you really like, only better. If you don't get that feeling, don't even think of doing it.

 

[Eric 3.7LX Alpha 1]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

My values ARE much like the values JB mentioned in 1955. Trial runs were NOT an option for ME. We were best friends and had known each other for about 11 years. 10 1/2 years after asking "Will you ..." the only regret I have is that I didn't resolve the conflict in me sooner and ask earlier. We have a great marriage, wonderful kids, and I couldn't imagine living without her.

So, what made me ask, well, I was going overseas for an extended period of time and, well, I decided I didn't want to be alone any more, I wanted to share the experience and my life with her and no one else would do. No sense looking for "something better" because there just wasn't any better to be found. I still feel that way. I have the best wife in the world and would not trade her for anything or anybody.

Scared ... you betcha! Sorry ... not even for a minute (not even in the middle of a disagreement). Like I said, I only wish I had asked sooner so we would have more years together.

Nice! Congrats!

Seems like the problem today is kids are learning from their parents and society that it's ok to bail. Ya think marriages that last 30, 40, 50 years don't make it without difficult times in there?

BTW in many states, there's that law that if you 've been together for so many years everything's split anyways.

 

[WIMUSKY]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Been dating the same girl for 7 years strait, the idea scared the crap out of me. Hostage

But, how much longer do you think she's willing to wait b/4 SHE moves on? We're hearing everything about your feelings, but, what about hers?

 

[korygrandy]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

To me, it would be obvious if she's marriage material but everyone is different.

I was ready to marry her after my first date. Obviously she was not but I brought it up within a month of dating and she didn't run for the hills so I took that as a good sign.

I think for some (my girlfriend) your age has some impact on the decision. She doesn't want to have children too late in life (she's 28). You need to be married before you have children. (I don't believe this but both our mothers certainly do).

I knew I wanted to marry her when she passed up my folks and siblings in my prayers. I knew I wanted to marry her when she stuck by me getting sober (she moved out but still supported me and eventually moved back). I knew I wanted to marry her after we made love the first time. I knew I wanted to marry her when her grandfather was dieing from alzheimer's.

Lately we have been talking about it a lot and I know she is ready. Now I just need the funds to pull off a destination wedding in Hawaii. Been together 4 years now.

 

[bkwapisz]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Seemed like a good idea at the time....


Seriously, I just knew. We talked about it a month after we started dating and went from there. She stuck with me through college, grad school, board exams, etc and then we got married. Dated for 8 years and never looked back. I was lucky enough to find a woman who was more interested in me than herself, and I reciprocate. Never worry about adultery, etc. Now, given that, we're both older and a lot fatter, and some of her friends are looking pretty good, but I made a committment and I will follow through. Same goes for her. I'm the most unsightly of all of my friends but she still sticks with me. Guess there's not much more I could ask for...

Hope you found the same. Remember, committment is a BIG word, and both of you need to understand what that really means. Good luck!

Oh, and LMAO at "hostage" too.

 

[perchin]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

If after 7 years straight you can't decide what justifies popping the question, then maybe your with the wrong one..... you'll know when its right. JMHO

 

[bruceb58]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

I don't know but if you have to ask a bunch of guys(and girls) on a boating forum that you have never met, then you are probably not ready.

What I find is that love is blind and that when ever I have broken up with a girl, my friends always tell me that they warned me but I wasn't listening. Why don't you ask your friends that know you best what they think of her.

 

[hostage]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Lots of good feedback here. For me seeing and hearing what others have done really helps. It also puts things in perspective and separates the fairy tells from real life experiences. Again I am someone who is not sure of anything, until after I do it. When I do make decisions, I am usually correct and never look back.

I never have ever met someone so crazy about me, until I met her. We do enjoy doing things together and love each other's company. I also do miss her when she is not around. She would be a great mother.

I think I prob need to talk about it more with her, I think we both are scared of it.

Thanks again,

Hostage (no pun intended)

 

[JB]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Hostage, when you think about your dreams for the future are they about "me" or about "we"? There is your answer.

 

[jonesg]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

A general rule of thumb is a guy is ready when he changes his life, he meets a gal and re-orders his priorities because of her.

And common interests aren't as significant as common values.