What made you want to pop the question?

[hostage]

Been dating the same girl for 7 years strait, the idea scared the crap out of me. One thing that makes me scared, is when I hear from people, "I knew she was the one". The problem with me is I am unsure about everything. I spent a year or two looking into cars, before I got a new one. I also spent a lot of time researching boats before I got one. The problem is I can't compare different models of women via a quantitative method like I do a car. I like putting things into a spreadsheet and compare them, though it doesn't seem like I do that with this particular question. The good thing, is once I do make a decision, I am happy with it. I love my boat, car, and house.

I just hear a lot of people asking me about when we are getting married and her parents are baby crazy. She is 25 and I am 28.

Thanks for your input,

Hostage

 

[Chuck1a]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

IMHO - When you are more scared of living without them, than scared of asking the question will be the right time.

 

[Huron Angler]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

I'm not married, so I can't answer the question...but I've been happily unmarried to the same woman for 9 years. If it ain't broke don't fix it is my take on it.

[Insert comment about getting the milk for free...etc]

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[rbh]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Once you figure out growing old alone sucks!

 

[ezmobee]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Word of advice....apparently "maybe I'll want to have kids someday" actually means "I want to have two children". You are also apparently not allowed to take your experience of having one child and use it to thoughtfully consider having any more. Living with resentment is awesome!

So um yeah, you might want to nail those details down a bit beforehand.

 

[paultjohnson]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Pregnant girlfriends Father with a shotgun pointed at my head


Just kiddn I will ans this question later when i have time... Been there -done that ... divorced..... broke

 

[RogersJetboat454]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Haven't popped the question. Too much going on right now. Shes still in school, not gainfully employed. We will be needing to purchase our condo that daddy bird-dogged for her, from him in a year from now.

In my opinion it's a grass is always greener mentality if you have lived with someone so long, but question getting married. If you can make it work for so long with out wanting to strangle her, or jump off a bridge, what difference does it make if its on paper.

Yeah yeah yeah, divorce lawyers, alimony, child support, etc....

But still if its just about what you think your missing out on, do you really belong in a relationship anyway? There are very rarely any perfect people for each other. There is always trade-offs from one partner to the next.

The ecstasy of a new relationship quickly gives way to stupid fights about how many bowls of food you put on the floor for the three cats you own.

Of course all that being said, firearms of any type pointed in my direction usually speeds up the decision by 1-2 years

 

[stic88]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

It was when I realized that my wife was not self centered and a me me me person and she has great values that she lives her life by. So I asked her around 8 on a monday morning, and by 330 that afternoon we were married. the only people there were her parents and my aunt and uncle who raised me after my mom passed away.

 

[HAV2FISH]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

If your heart goes pitter patter and you get this warm fuzzy feeling inside every time you see her then you'll know its the right time.

 

[18WCmerc]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

a popped the big Q the weekend before i left for iraq, not that i questioned here loyalty, but if a relationship can withstand that without infedelity then she is a keeper. long story short, she passed lol or at least I think she did lol. it worked out because when i was home on leave we made a OOOOPPSS, and when i got back for good most of the crappy pregnancy times were over, then to make a woman of her i married her.

nothing against her or our awesome marriage, but im only 25, i should have waited till 30 i think....i have a sweet job, a boat, jeep, truck, toys galore and just not enough time to play with them all lol.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

If your heart goes pitter patter and you get this warm fuzzy feeling inside every time you see her then you'll know its the right time.

That or your suffering from Atrial Fib.

 

[angus63]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

A guy named "HOSTAGE" asking about getting married......my wife even laughed!!!!

 

[stic88]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

A guy named "HOSTAGE" asking about getting married......my wife even laughed!!!!

did not catch that one... now i am laughing

 

[Deadwood]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

More advice: two little words......."pre" and "nup". Wait....are her parents rich?

 

[royal0014]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Kinda hard to say. I quess after 8 years, and everyone else we knew had gotten hitched, it was just time to. She told me a couple of years later that she was just about to dump me and move on, she was tired of waiting....talk about lousy timing

That was 11 years ago. Almost all of those other couples are divorced now. Sometimes when we are aggravating each other, she'll pop off something about divorce, and I'll say it's cheaper-to-keep-her

 

[98Shabah]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

I got married the 1st time at age 28, we had been dating for 9 or 10 years at that point, we were living together, etc, etc.. Everyone said "you might as well get married, it's the next step", and her parents were fond of the idea. We both we comfortable with the relationship, but made the next step because "it was the thing to do"... We got married in June, by December of the same year we realized it was a mistake, she moved out just after christmas, I bought a divorce package online for $300, filled it out and filed it, we were divorced at what would have been the 1 year anniversary.

I am happily remarried now with 2 kids at age 33.. yeah, that was quick!

All I can say is if you're not madly in love with the person, think it through before making the next step.

 

[scooper77515]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Without reading all the posts (I got better things to do than read all those posts)...

If it don't feel right, dont do it.

If that means you are on your own for the rest of your life, that is better for all the girls out there. Maybe for you also.

 

[windshield_time]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

I have been married for 16 years now. The things I have learned are many and never enough. Just sit there and think about it, when you think of taking a vacation does doing something with her come to mind ? When you think of fun is she in the picture ? If you think about being without her does your chest hurt ?

Also you need to know marriage is WORK! You will argue, fight, think why did I marry her ? That is normal and IMHO anybody who says they don't argue in their marriage isn't really married, they are just going through the motions.

Everybody should go into a marriage thinking that divorce is NOT an option, if you go into it with an exit strategy then you're doomed to fail.

 

[bruceb58]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

Don't do it!

 

[jonesg]

Re: What made you want to pop the question?

The problem with me is I am unsure about everything.

You aren't ready.
But you will not become ready merely by waiting, the problem with you needs resolving.