Tough Decision

[gonfishn]

My mom who is 85 Years young, has mentally been going down hill these past six months. Her health is great. Her driving is another matter. She lives at the homstead in Minn. and is quite independant. Walker Minn. is a small town so everyone knows everyone. <br />Seems lately she has ran lights,stop signs and we think she forgets what she is doing.<br /><br />She is visiting us for a couple weeks. Tonite we must take her keyes away. She has many friends who are willing to drive her anywhere she wants to go. Our plan is to tell her we want her to not drive this winter and hope in the spring she will be use to having others drive her and not want to drive. Only other option is to have the Sheriffs office send a letter requesting her to come in and take a drivers test.<br /><br />This seems kinda harsh but on the flip side its only a matter of time before she hurts herself or heaven forbid some one else. Are there any other suggestions?

 

[txswinner]

Re: Tough Decision

It is called "Reverse Tuff Love" she did it for you and you must do it for her. Probably one of the hardest things for a loving child to do. Good luck, bet she is really looking for a reason not to drive.

 

[Ron G]

Re: Tough Decision

Thats a very tough and troublesome disission to make,we had to take my grandfathers keys away it wasnt pretty at all,he was about blind and would still sneak off.good luck with whatever dissions.

 

[KaGee]

Re: Tough Decision

Do not wish to be in your shoes GF. You are so right... very tough decision.<br /><br />Fortunetly for me, the doctors were the bad guys for dad. But even then, in his heart he knew he couldn't drive anymore. <br /><br />I hope things work out ok.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Tough Decision

No other suggestion needed in my book. Had to do the same thing with the MIL several years back. After a run in with a 'mystery object" that left a rim so badly bent that it and the tire needed to be replaced. (BTW MIL swore she never hit or felt a thing.) And twice being guided back home by good Samaritans we figured for her safety as well as others her driving days were passed. Seems sheety at the time but better safe than sorry. Good Luck!!

 

[ehenry]

Re: Tough Decision

I'm in your shoes my friend. I posted the same delema a good while back only its my Daddy. Theres no stopping him...believe me we've tried. Even had his hung the stars, sun and moon laywer grandson talk to him an it did no good. This is a man that was a B24 pilot in WW2, shot at AND hit a couple times....so it rightfully makes him a little bull headed.<br /><br />Good Luck is all i can offer you.

 

[txswinner]

Re: Tough Decision

ef, Stay after him, he has too many stories left to tell to the great grandkids. Also, get a recorder if he will tell about WW2, I did not do so with an uncle and my Dad and regret I do not have their stories. Hope all is well in Miss. now.

 

[dogsdad]

Re: Tough Decision

The easy way might be to let the local law enforcement folks do the dirty deed. Problem is, you have no ammunition if she passes the test. Maybe a pre-arranged understanding with the officer who administers the test would work, but then again, that could blow up in your face.<br /><br />Just some thoughts thrown out there---not meant to be construed as advice.

 

[JB]

Re: Tough Decision

It is hard to contemplate having freedom to come and go withdrawn, GF. It is a surrender of a lot of control over your own life.<br /><br />I have given up driving at night or in rain (when the heck does it ever rain in N. Texas?) because early stage cataracts cause the lights to dazzle me and I can't see.<br /><br />I hope to continue safe daytime driving for many years, but realize that someday I will no longer be safe and others will probably know it before I do.<br /><br />I don't know how I will take it when it comes, but I do trust my children to make the right decision for me if I don't make it for myself.<br /><br />How your Mom will take it is a measure of her trust in you.

 

[deeep water]

Re: Tough Decision

reguardless of your outcome its going to hard ,,but it will get better,,but not in a week or a month,,but just better over time

 

[heycods]

Re: Tough Decision

I feel for you. About 25 years ago my grand father came by my house one evning and told me he was going to sell me his cows and move to town ( he was 84 at the time) I was dumbstruck,and ask what was the problem. He said he failed his driving test (poor vision). HE then jumped up and left the house crying ( In all my life I never saw him cry) He Moved to town and never came back to the ranch where he spent his life.He lasted a year befour dieing,Broke his heart and he gave up.I have thanked the lord I wasnt the one who made him stop driving. MY suggestion to you is to find a Dr. who will do your dirty work for you.

 

[ZooMbr]

Re: Tough Decision

GF as said by others it's as important for the elderly as for the teen. Up here, after age ?? (don't know the age; but, MIL is 80 and has to do it) they renew license yearly and you have to have a Dr. approval. Then every ?? (again don't know the #) you have to take a road test. Takes some pressure off the family.