As a result of some past and especially an unfortunate series of very recent events, I am able to propound these laws. Others may be able to add to them.<br /><br />1. The further you travel to get the part you desperately need the less likely it is that it will be the right one.<br /><br />2. Trying to avoid Law 1 by telephoning first to make sure they have the right part will only result in you travelling even further to experience even greater disappointment and anger.<br /><br />3. The more the parts clown on the other end of the phone assures you that he doesn't have the part number you've quoted from the manufacturer's original parts catalogue but that the part number he's quoting from something else that definitely supersedes it is correct, the more likely it is that he's wrong.<br /><br />4. The more the parts clown on the other end of the phone assures you that although he can't find the part you're talking about in his exploded diagram but that the one he has will do the job, the more likely it is that (a) he doesn't understand what you're talking about, and /or (b) he doesn't understand what he's talking about and / or (c) he's looking at the wrong diagram, and / or (d) the only diagram he's looking at is the sheila in the bikini on a calendar.<br /><br />5. When you describe specific aspects of the part and he assures you that the one is his hand is the same, (a) it won't be when you get there, and / or (b) the only part he had in his hand when he was talking to you was inspired by the half-naked sheila he was looking at on the calendar and as far as he's concerned that will fit anything.<br /><br />6. When two or more of the preceding laws occur on the same part, don't bother leaving home because when you get there it won't be the right part. <br /><br />7. If you don't take your sample part, a digital vernier caliper, full set of micrometers, telescopic gauges, dial gauge, full electrical testing set, fume cabinet, X-ray machine and a full destruction testing kit to compare the parts at the parts place you will always find when you get home that the part you've got is RT 569/07089-7 not RT 569/07089/7. The difference is that the flugenwall ridge on the beepenfak shaft is 3 degrees to the left of anything that could possibly fit your motor. Everybody knows that / is only for the **A** series motors not the **A* one you have that takes -.<br /><br />8. You will never get an apology for relying on the parts clown's assurances after you gave very specific details about the part he doesn't have now but assured you he had an hour and half ago before you left home to burn up half a tank of gas crossing the city in 90 degree heat. Instead of apologising the parts clown will disappear and send out a grown up to deal with you while he skulks at the back of the shop, the useless little pr*ck. The grown up will express amazement that anybody is still running one of these antiques and will not very subtly imply that it's all your fault for wasting their time looking for it when everybody knows it's been an unlisted part since 1983. <br /><br />8. When you point out that you wouldn't be there if the parts clown hadn't assured you on the phone that he had the part, and that you're not real happy about the long hot trip to no purpose, the grown up will get all shirty like it's unfair to blame them and you should have been clearer in your description of the part. <br /><br />9. Buying a part from a wrecker has much the same risks, plus the joy of bringing it home and testing it and finding out it's a dud after you were so careful to get assurances that they test them before selling them. So now you can waste another couple of hours and another half tank of gas going back to argue with them about whether, say, a temperature sender for a warning horn is defective because it won't close a circuit when left in boiling water for 15 minutes.
It sames me a trip to the dumpster.. 
