SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt."<br />Soon you will be able to handle this situation. <br /><br />Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, maried O.Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie, the twins Deep and Dip, Fulla, Giva and Bull Schitt.<br />Against his parents strong objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt married Mr Scherlock and because her kids were living with them, decided to keep her previous name also. She became known as Noe Schitt Scherlock.<br />Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son - Chick Noe Schitt (Chick N. Schitt for short). Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood, and consequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse Schitt.<br />Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.<br />Now, when someone says that you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them and ask if they are related to any of the above.<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />The Texan<br />Three men; one German, one Japanese and a Texan were sitting naked in a sauna suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. the others looked at him questioningly. That was my pager, he said, I have a microchip under the skin of my arm. A few minutes later a phone rang. Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear, when he finished he explained. That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand The Texan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. he stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Texan, smiling the whole time, finally said........well, will you look at that, Im getting a fax.
