SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"<br /><br />The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.<br /><br />Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed "Bring me my red shirt!"<br /><br />And once again the battle was on. The Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, however this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"<br /><br />The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid...<br /><br />The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. <br /><br />The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. <br /><br />The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!" 
<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />This is an actual transcript between a US Naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.<br /><br />Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.<br />Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid collision.<br /><br />Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.<br />Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.<br /><br />Canadians: No, I say again, you divert your course.<br /><br />Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST<br />SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR HEADING 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THE SHIP.<br /><br />Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.<br />
<br />__________________________________________________<br /><br />This is an actual transcript between a US Naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.<br /><br />Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.<br />Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid collision.<br /><br />Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.<br />Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.<br /><br />Canadians: No, I say again, you divert your course.<br /><br />Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST<br />SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR HEADING 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE TAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THE SHIP.<br /><br />Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.<br /> 
