LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
It started out innocently enough.<br />I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably,<br />though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social<br />thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew<br />it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I<br />was thinking all the time.<br /><br />That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off<br />the TV and asked my husband about the meaning of life. He spent that night<br />at his mother's.<br /><br />I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix,<br />but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I<br />could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and<br />confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"<br /><br />One day the boss called me in.<br /><br />He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking<br />has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll<br />have to find another job."<br /><br />This gave me a lot to think about.<br /><br />I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I<br />confessed, "I've been thinking..."<br /><br />"I know you've been thinking," he said, "and I want a divorce!"<br /><br />"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."<br /><br />"It is serious," he said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college<br />professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on<br />thinking, we won't have any money!"<br /><br />"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. He exploded in tears of<br />rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.<br /><br />"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed<br />for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the<br />parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors...<br />They didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a<br />Higher Power was looking out for me that night.<br /><br />As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for<br />Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining<br />your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the<br />standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a<br />recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.<br /><br />At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was<br />"Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since<br />the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.<br /><br />Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.<br /><br />I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered<br />to vote Democrat. 
