Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery

Tim Frank

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  • Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  • Someone call the janitor -- we're going to need a mop.
  • Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  • Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingy.
  • Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 mg of this stuff before?
  • Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
  • Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  • I hope his family won't miss him.
  • And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.
  • Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
 

64osby

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I was on the table watching the Doc looking at X-rays, knee X rays. I was having ankle surgery. :eek:

They were my brothers x rays.
 

gm280

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Don't stick your gum in there, put it under that table...
 

GA_Boater

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I'm a chicken. I expect to be knocked our during surgery.
 

aspeck

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Does anyone know which side this is on?
 

Tnstratofam

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Umm does anyone know what this is or where it went?

Dr? I'm not a Dr, but I did stay at a Holliday Inn Express last night!
 

sphelps

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Congratulations team ! This was a perfectly executed sex change operation !!
 

aspeck

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I hope his life insurance policy is paid up!
 

gm280

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Ok docs we're finished...where did I leave my smart phone?
 

jbcurt00

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I'm 100% with ya on this one. After one surgery I came out of Anastasia while still in post op. wasn't a good experience!
I'd like the name of the hospital where this surgery occurred....:watermelon: :D

Seems to have an interesting post op routine, or at least really, really friendly bedside manners
 

gm280

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jbcurt00, I actually had a hip replacement surgery about five to six years ago now. And I do remember going in to the OR on a gurney and there were two people sitting at a booth. A guy and a girl. The guy asked me what I was going to have done and I told him my hip and he asked which side and I told him the right side. He then said the surgeon would be in shortly and that he was going to give me (I guess via IV that was already started) something to settle me a little...and that was the last time I remember anything. Then it was like I blinked my eyes and was in a completely different room. Everybody in that room was telling me I was okay and out of surgery and I thought no I'm not, I just went in to surgery. But yes I was and it was hours later too. My sister being a RN came by to see how I was doing because she couldn't be my OR nurse even though that what she was! She told me I was finished. But what I didn't know was she drew a smiley face on the bottom of my foot knowing I wouldn't be able to see it for a long time...
 

64osby

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Seriously. If you can hear anything during surgery, it's a bad sign.


I woke up during hand surgery. I asked, How it was going?

They said all was good.

I asked, How much longer?, because the tourniquet was starting to really hurt.

They asked if I could make it five more minutes.

I tried but then started to squirm because of the pain.

They loosened the tourniquet and it knocked me out until the surgery was over.
 

garbageguy

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Not during, but just before a craniectomy where they tell you the potential downside and have you sign something that says it's OK if you die
 

southkogs

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"Jenkins, do you recognize this word? I've searched the manual, but I can't figure out what they mean here ..."
 

Outsider

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I never met Anastasia, but every hospital I've been to (several) prefers you be in post op when you come out of anesthesia ... ;)
 

drrpm

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After most general anesthetics the patient is awakened in the operating room. The residual anesthetic usually prevents them form having any memory for a short period of time so they think they woke up in the recovery room (Post Anesthesia Care Unit).
 
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