heycods
Captain
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2005
- Messages
- 3,941
Subject: Cowboy buying a bra<br /><br /><br />I just flat think this is cute>>><br /><br />I ain't much for shopping,<br />Or for goin' into town<br />Except at cattle-shipping time,<br />I ain't too easily found.<br /><br />But the day came when I had to go -<br />I left the kids with Ma.<br />But 'fore I left, she asked me,<br />"Would you pick me up a bra?"<br /><br />So without thinkin' I said, "Sure,"<br />How tough could that job be?<br />An' I bent down and kissed her<br />An' said, "I'll be back by three."<br />Well, I done the things I needed,<br />But I started to regret<br />Ever offering to buy that thing -<br />I worked me up a sweat<br /><br />I walked into the ladies shop<br />My hat pulled over my eyes,<br />I didn't want to take a chance<br />On bein' recognized.<br />I walked up to the sales clerk -<br />I didn't hem or haw -<br />I told that lady right straight out,<br />"I'm here to buy a bra."<br /><br />From behind I heard some snickers, <br />So I turned around to see<br />Every woman in that store<br />Was a'gawkin' right at me!<br /><br />"What kind would you be looking for?"<br />Well, I just scratched my head.<br />I'd only seen one kind before,<br />"Thought bras was bras," I said.<br /><br />She gave me a disgusted look,<br />"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.<br />Follow me," I heard her say,<br />Like a dog, I tagged along.<br /><br />She took me down this alley<br />Where bras was on display.<br />I thought my jaw would hit the floor<br />When I saw that lingerie.<br /><br />They had all these different styles<br />That I'd never seen before<br />I thought I'd go plumb crazy<br />'fore I left that women's store.<br />They had bras you wear for eighteen hours<br />And bras that cross your heart.<br />There was bras that lift and separate,<br />And that was just the start.<br /><br />They had bras that made you feel<br />Like you ain't wearing one at all,<br />And bras that you can train in<br />When you start off when you're small.<br /><br />Well, I finally made my mind up -<br />Picked a black and lacy one -<br />I told the lady, "Bag it up,"<br />And figured I was done.<br /><br />But then she asked me for the size<br />I didn't hesitate<br />I knew that measurement by heart,<br />"A six-and-seven-eighths."<br /><br />"Six and seven eighths you say?<br />That really isn't right."<br />"Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -<br />I measured them last night!"<br />I thought that she'd go into shock,<br />Musta took her by surprise<br />When I told her that my wife's bust<br />Was the same as my hat size.<br />"That's what I used to measure with,<br />I figured it was fair,<br />But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."<br />This drew another stare.<br /><br />By now a crowd had gathered<br />And they all was crackin' up<br />When the lady asked to see my hat,<br />To measure for the cup.<br /><br />When she finally had it figured,<br />I gave the gal her pay.<br />Then I turned to leave the store,<br />Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."<br /><br />My wife had heard the story<br />'fore I ever made it home.<br />She'd talked to fifteen women<br />Who called her on the phone.<br /><br />She was still a-laughin'<br />But by then I didn't care.<br />Now she don't ask and I don't shop<br />For women's underwear.
