Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 <br /><br />winter Olympics, the following are some questions people <br /><br />the world over are asking. These questions (and answers) <br /><br />about Canada were actually posted on an international <br /><br />Tourism Website. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do <br /><br /> the plants grow? (UK) <br /><br />A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit <br /><br /> around and watch them die. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) <br /><br />A: Depends how much you've been drinking. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I <br /><br /> follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) <br /><br />A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of <br /><br /> water. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? <br /><br /> (Sweden) <br /><br />A: So its true what they say about Swedes. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses <br /><br /> of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) <br /><br />A: Let's not touch this one. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can <br /><br /> you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, <br /><br /> Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) <br /><br />A: What did your last slave die of? <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing <br /><br /> in Canada?(USA) <br /><br />A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south <br /><br /> of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your <br /><br /> North... oh forget it. Sure the hippo racing is <br /><br /> every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) <br /><br />A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when <br /><br /> you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) <br /><br />A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) <br /><br />A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering <br /><br /> Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the <br /><br /> Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in <br /><br /> Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) <br /><br />A: No, WE don't stink. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where <br /><br /> the female population is smaller than the male pop- <br /><br /> ulation? (Italy) <br /><br />A: Yes, gay nightclubs. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) <br /><br />A: Only at Thanksgiving. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk avail- <br /><br /> able all year round? (Germany) <br /><br />A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/ <br /><br /> gatherers. Milk is illegal. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, <br /><br /> but I forget it's name. It's a kind of big horse <br /><br /> with horns. (USA) <br /><br />A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, <br /><br /> eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. <br /><br /> You can scare it by spraying yourself with human <br /><br /> urine before you go out walking. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact <br /><br /> the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. <br /><br /> Can you help? (USA) <br /><br />A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) <br /><br />A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. <br /><br /> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - <br /><br />A visitor to Canada asked a local in the province of <br /><br />Ontario: "Hi, did you have a good Summer?" <br /><br /> <br /><br />The Ontarian replied, "Yes indeed, we had a great picnic <br /><br />that afternoon!" 
