Re: The most annoying sound in the world
Speaking of annoying phone antics......<br /><br />When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it<br />out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone<br />you don't know.<br /><br />It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone<br />call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed. A man answered,<br />saying, "Hello."<br /><br />I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"<br /><br />Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.<br /><br />I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.<br /><br />I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the<br />last two digits of her phone number.<br /><br />After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.<br /><br />When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an @#$%!" and<br />hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ' @#$%' next to it, and put it<br />in my drawer.<br /><br />Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd<br />call him up and yell, "You're an @#$%!" It always cheered me up.<br /><br />When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic calling would have to stop. <br />So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. <br />I'm just calling to see if you're interested in the Caller ID program?"<br /><br />He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and<br />said, "That's because you're an @#$%!"<br /><br />One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.<br /><br />Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently<br />waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.<br /><br />The idiot ignored me, and then I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car<br />window, so I wrote down his number.<br /><br />A couple of days later, right after calling the first @#$%, (I had his<br />number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW, too.<br /><br />I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"<br />"Yes, it is."<br /><br />"Can you tell me where I can see it?"<br /><br />"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's<br />parked right out in front."<br /><br />"What's your name?" I asked.<br /><br />"My name is Don Hansen," he said.<br /><br />"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"<br /><br />"I'm home every evening after five."<br /><br />"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"<br /><br />Yes?"<br /><br />"Don, you're an @#$% ."<br /><br />Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.<br /><br />Now, when I had a problem, I had two @#$%'s to call.<br /><br />But after several months of calling them, it was not as enjoyable as it used<br />to be.<br /><br />I called #1.<br /><br />"Hello." "You're an @#$%!" (But I didn't hang up.)<br /><br />"Are you still there?" he asked.<br /><br />"Yeah," I said.<br /><br />"Stop calling me," he screamed.<br /><br />"Make me," I said.<br /><br />"Who are you?" he asked.<br /><br />"My name is Don Hansen."<br /><br />"Yeah? Where do you live?"<br /><br />" I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black<br />Beamer parked in front."<br /><br />He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying<br />your prayers."<br /><br />I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ."<br /><br />Then I called #2<br /><br />"Hello?" he said.<br /><br />"Hello,@#$% ," I said.<br /><br />He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"<br /><br />"You'll what?" I said.<br /><br />"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.<br /><br />I answered, "Well, , here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."<br /><br />Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at<br />1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.<br /><br />Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on West 34th<br />Street.<br /><br />I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two<br />@#$%s beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a<br />police helicopter, and a news crew.<br /><br />NOW, I feel better.<br /><br />Anger management really works!
