Safe Boating Tips<br /><br />When launching a boat, always back the boat into the water. Pulling the boat into the water can really mess up your carburetor.<br /><br />When waterskiing, never allow a feisty duck to hitch a ride on your skis.<br /><br />Always stay at least five boat-lengths behind the whale in front of you.<br /><br />While sinking to the bottom of a lake or ocean, screaming does not help.<br /><br />When boating, always wear a swimsuit with suspenders. This makes it easier on the guys with the grapling hook when they're trying to retrieve your body.<br /><br />Drowning can cause severe shortness of breath. And you don't even want to think about what it does to your complexion.<br /><br />Always wear a life jacket in case you fall overboard. Also, it's a good idea to take along something to read, in case you're swallowed by a whale. Most whales seem to enjoy Moby ****.<br /><br />Boating while intoxicated is not illegal in some states, but it's stupid in all of them.
