real family problems

[mellowyellow]

being a NY dego, a huge family is a given... the<br />problem is when the whole family and all the kids<br />get together, it is tough to keep the kids from<br />fighting...<br />as an "elder", I think it's best to let them work<br />it out amongst themselves, cuz when the mods get<br />involved, it always seems to become personal to<br />the rest...<br />really tired of splitting hairs with other adults<br />and I doubt the kids will ever, ever be perfect<br />angels...<br />at MY witt's end and looking for a fresh outlook<br />please

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: real family problems

I am a NY guina as well, I believe there is no formula. My kids are "adults" so they are out of the house. There is always some friction. Now I simply say, Take it outta here. It is harder in the winter, because we can't retreat to the lake. Hey! Don't let it get you down, we are at the tail end of this adventure. They are just getting started. We earned the right to toss them until they can be repectful of us and our wishes for harmony. Afterall we are the Boomers!

 

[ZooMbr]

Re: real family problems

It's family dynamics! Came from a family of 8, raised 6 and I find the best thing is to let them work it out. As I'm the "mod" for our family, I remind them they are part of a family and owe the family and sib's to work through it. I don't take sides even when I have one -- just try to get them to see the other's side. Gee sounding like a iboat mod huh? Guess if our family's were like chat sites they would be posting "I'm outa here"<br /><br />Sometimes takes years for some squabbles to blow over; good friends with a couple of sib's that during middle years hardly spoke to because of an issue - seems that family unity comes back as we get older and wiser and memories fade.

 

[12Footer]

Re: real family problems

It sounds like something a moderator could answer.How 'bout it, JB? <br /><br />JK.. But as a family goers thru time, <br />family is born, <br />family gets married/devorced<br />family dies,<br />Reunions come and go. At one time, the elders were different people. They were the sages of thier generation. YOU are amoung the 'sages' of today's family. And it isn't the same thing it was ,back when you were going 'trick-or-treating' with your cousins. Simular, but not the same.<br />Sure, there are those family traditions, but even these are updated to reflect the world we live in. I am now one of those "elders" myself, MY. It seems like it was an effortless transition for me, but I realize all families are different, even if the structure isn't.... The 'glue' that holds it together is identical.<br />My humble sugjestion is,<br />Consider it your job, and allow for the world we live in today. Not that of our fathers.<br />And ask yourself, "What would the boss do?"

 

[Bassy]

Re: real family problems

I would not get involved. You are right that it gets personal when the parents get involved. There is no safe side for you to be on. Don't do it! Let them work it out. Only one thing... no fighting in your house. You kick their behinds right on out of there if they get disrepectful in your house. <br />I'll be quiet now.<br />Bassy

 

[Mrs Soulwinner]

Re: real family problems

I'm with Bassy. Let 'em work it out. Until it looks like someone's gonna get loud or something's gonna get broke in your house, let them work it out amongst themselves. They'll grow up eventually and realize just how stupid all the fighting was.<br /><br />Good luck to ya though......rather, God bless.

 

[Hooty]

Re: real family problems

It goes: ALRIGHT!! EITHER KNOCK THA SH** OFF OR TAKE IT OUTSIDE! NOW! <br /><br />Ya see, kids don' have any rights. <br /><br />c/6<br />Hooty

 

[Link]

Re: real family problems

Hooty<br />

Ya see, kids don' have any rights.

Got that right! LOL<br /><br />MY<br />I come from what some would call a big family and knew the rules at age 6 as I will at 60.<br /><br />Kids:<br />At Family get togethers Fighting for kids was/is TABOO Those involved, as well as any kid near that could have stopped it got our arses whipped with a razor strap until it didn't matter anymore who was right or wrong! Kids learn fast! <br /><br />Adults:<br />ALL arguements, Fueds, etc stop at the front door. Anyone bringing up a existing situation are asked to leave. Now! If they have kids, they ofcourse sleep over with thier cousins... or friends.<br /><br />Weapons.. TABOO.. if your caught with one it is taken away at the front door and don't even ask for it back! <br /><br />While typing this MY it sounds like we are Mafia but in truth, the rules were put in place a long time before I was born back in the 1940's<br />a white trash family that got tired of killin each other. OzArks comes to mind <br />I have said my peice ..<br /><br /><br />Link

 

[Mrs Soulwinner]

Re: real family problems

Link, love that philosophy! Wished I had that while I was growing up. Things woulda been a whole lot easier 'round my house.

 

[mellowyellow]

Re: real family problems

wow...impressed 12 footer got it so quick!<br />I was really talking about MY surrogate Iboats<br />family.<br />just cuz we don't all get along sometimes, we<br />are still family y'all.<br />just trying to make a point, sorry to pull yur<br />legs.<br />happy holloween <br />M.Y.

 

[Link]

Re: real family problems

ROFLOL yup went right over my head <br />Your correct though MY.

 

[neumanns]

Re: real family problems

You wanna piece of me? Huh...I aint scared of you MY...and that crowd you been hanging with aint no good for nothings, there nothing but trouble! <br /><br />The line's been drawed and you just crossed it.

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: real family problems

Hey MY. that is for April 1. Did you turn your clock back an hour, or 7 months!

 

[oddjob]

Re: real family problems

Funny I wrote and deleted two responses to this thread already.

 

[cbnoodles]

Re: real family problems

I love it MY! What a great analogy. Wish I'd thought of it myself.

 

[Carphunter]

Re: real family problems

Somebody needs a good smackin........................OUCH,..........well it looks like he got it.<br /><br />I told you guys to watch 'ol Mellow,.......he's really Mo in disguise.

 

[gaugeguy]

Re: real family problems

Where's the good looking cousins at

 

[mellowyellow]

Re: real family problems

as with all lies, there is some truth involved.<br />NY, dego, big family etc.<br />GG, Italian women are the most "bella" in the world,<br />wouldn't marry one though <br />not suicidal...