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redneck joe

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
10,878
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Written by Dr. Seuss, published in 1957
Cartoon debuted December 18, 1966
Voice, Narrator and GrinchBoris Karloff
Voice, Cindy-Lou WhoJune Foray
Vocals, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" Thurl Ravenscroft

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, bring your light
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome in the cold of night

Welcome Christmas, fahoo ramus
Welcome Christmas, dahoo damus
Welcome Christmas, while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand



Trim up the tree with Christmas stuff
Like bingle balls and whofoo fluff
Trim up the town with googoo gums
And bizilbigs and wums

Trim every blessed window and trim every blessed door
Hang up whoboohoo bricks then run out and get some more!
Hang pantookas on the ceilings
Pile panpoonas on the floor
Trim every blessed needle on the blessed Christmas tree
Christmas comes tomorrow. Trim you, trim me!
Trim up your tree with fuzzle fuzz
And fliffer bloofs, and wuzzle wuzz
Trim up your uncle and your aunt
With yards of whoflut flay​

Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot
But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve hating the Whos,

Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town,

For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath
Was busy now hanging a hollywho wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!

For, tomorrow, I know all the Who girls and boys
Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
There's one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

And they'll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing 'round on their wheels.
They'll dance with jingtinglers tied onto their heels.
They'll blow their floofloovers. They'll bang their tartookas.
They'll blow their whohoopers. They'll bang their gardookas.
They'll spin their trumtookas. They'll slam their slooslunkas.
They'll beat their blumbloopas. They'll wham their whowonkas.
And they'll play noisy games like zoozittacarzay,
A roller-skate type of lacrosse and croquet!
And then they'll make ear-splitting noises galooks
On their great big electro whocarnio flooks!

Then the Whos, young and old, will sit down to a feast.
And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'll feast on Who pudding, and rare Who roast beast,
Raw roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least!

And then they'll do something I hate most of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,

They'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those Whos will start singing!"
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas! Come this way
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day

Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus
Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays...​

"And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!"
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who Christmas Sing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!

Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
"I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat."

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great grinchy trick!
With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch! I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!​

"All I need is a reindeer." The Grinch looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the Grinch? Hah! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread.
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.

Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh and he whistled for Max.

Then the Grinch said "Giddyap!" and the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little house of the square.

"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
As he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.

He got stuck only once, for a minute or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue

Where the little Who stockings hung all in a row.
"These stockings," he grinched, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Pop guns, pampoogas, pantookas, and drums!
Checkerboards, bizilbigs, popcorn, and plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney.
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch! Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch. You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots.
Mr. Grinch! You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!​

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who pudding! He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took the last can of Who hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"Now," grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"

As the Grinch took the tree, as he started to shove,
He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was no more than two.

She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.

So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink, and he sent her to bed.

And when Cindy-Lou Who was in bed with her cup,
He crupt to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food that he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then he did the same thing to the other Whos' houses,
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Whos' mouses!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch, with a nauseous super "naus"!
You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss.
Mr. Grinch! Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty-wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch! The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, "Stink, stank, stunk"!​

It was quarter of dawn. All the Whos still a-bed,
All the Whos still a-snooze, when he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings,
Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings!

Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpet,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!

"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinchily humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry boo-hoo!

That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "that I simply must hear!"
He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low, then it started to grow.
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas! Come this way
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day

Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus
Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp​

But this sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded glad!

Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing without any presents at all!

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say
That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!

And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,
And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches, plus two!

And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light

With a smile to his soul, he descended Mount Crumpet
Cheerily blowing "Who! Who!" on his trumpet.

He road into Whoville. He brought back their toys.
He brought back their floof to the Who girls and boys.

He brought back their snoof and their tringlers and fuzzles,
Brought back their pantookas, their dafflers and wuzzles.

He brought everything back, all the food for the feast!
And he, he himself, the Grinch carved the roast beast!

Welcome Christmas. Bring your cheer,
Cheer to all Whos, far and near.

Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to grasp.

Christmas Day will always be
Just as long as we have we.

Welcome Christmas while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand.
 

brian4321

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jan 19, 2014
Messages
359
Thanks Joe, I gotta say I always get a chuckle out of Dr Seuss stories lol
 

brian4321

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jan 19, 2014
Messages
359

My wife sent this picture about 20 minutes after I left for work this morning
 

redneck joe

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
10,878
so looking at some reviews online - need to get crawspace fixed up. Actual, posted review.


a year ago-
I eat a lot, a lot. Of taco bell. Probably more than anyone I've ever meant. For sure more then you've ever meant, trust me, I run with the Tacolota boys and we eat of Taco Bell at a lot of different Taco bells. Personally they call me Big Burrito Boy, Because I usually get my signature Burrito of 6 extra large extra meat burritos rolled in a large line. I'll usually have 3 or 2 of these then wash it all down with a couple of liters of fountain water in the mall outside of my local Taco bell. After that its not more then 30 minutes before its WW2 in my bowels and that flood gates are ready to open. The Industrial toilets at the mall Can usually hand my load after 6 or 7 flushes. But as of late I haven't been able to leave my house do to pending health issues so I've been ordering quite a bit of takeout. Well let me tell you, my toilet at home was NOT industrial and neither was my piping system. So after about 3 days of abuse it all gave out. My basement looked like Omaha beach down there and the smell was unbelievable. Even in all my days of serves I have NEVER seen something like this. Honestly it was a blessing because I was able to see I was not fully digesting my food and there was a fair amount of blood in all of it. But that's all beside that point. I don't know if I or my house would be here right now if it wasn't for my sump pump. I contacted USS and they set me up with wonderful sump pump that drained my basement in no time. I have to say that anyone looking for a sump pump must look no further because USS inc. is where it's at. Trust me, i know. I eat a lot, a lot.

-Nate Hurkley, AKA Big Burrito Boy, aka Nut

 

redneck joe

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
10,878
jellyfish.png


...





Jesus
 

sphelps

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Nov 16, 2011
Messages
11,462
TC didn't get bored and turn his Gypsy into a swamp buggy did he ? :D
 

Pusher

Lieutenant
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
1,273
Oh, I thought you were in the deep south for some reason! I hope you cash in on that family card :)
 
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