Grant Brown
Petty Officer 1st Class
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Messages
- 390
A few years ago a (cough cough) "friend" took a lady and her young son out for a day trip. The day didn't go well, in fact about 1/2 way through, the old Merc 70 decided not to start at all.
He fired up the kicker and putted back to the dock. On the way home, the wind picked up. His 4-5 mph turned into about 2 or 3. He decided for safety to drop off the guests on a closer dock so they could call for a ride (this is the Pacific Ocean after all).
Getting close to the dock, the winds and boat traffic were creating quite a cross chop. The cell rang and as he opened the flip phone, the boat bucked the phone dropped, bounced off the gunwale and went into the deep. They managed to tie off and walked up the ramp to wait for the ride.
When they were safely in the car and on the way home, he went back to the boat and found that someone had moved the boat and left it grinding the gel coat against the dock, messing up the finish and some tape stripes on the side. Oh well. He refueled the kicker and prepared to head out for the home dock where the truck and trailer were parked.
He made the 10 miles or so in reasonably good time (he was hungry as it was close to dinner time now so he scarfed down what was left of the lunches and snacks), the wind was still strong but at least there was some shelter from the inlet. As he got closer to port he realized that he really had to go to the bathroom bad, it wouldn't be comfortable to wait. Considering he would be retrieving the boat by himself, with just the kicker, in the wind at a busy time of day, at one of the busiest launches in the area, he decided to relieve himself before getting to port. The problem was that there was a lot of boat traffic around so he couldn't just hang it over the side and go, he had to find another more discreet way; the bailing bucket.
Now I have to tell you that my friend is a very frugal guy. Rather than pay the $10 or so for a good galvanized bucket for the boat, he opted to make a bailing bucket out of an old milk jug. It works fine but it's thin and doesn't really stand up to much wear. He didn't want to lose any momentum from the kicker and lose any headway so he got himself set up between the seats without even stopping the motor. He looks around, (the coast is clear) and begins to do the deed. He soon realizes that his knees are getting wet. He is not missing the bucket, no the bucket has 2 or 3 pin holes in it that are letting the amber liquid flow all over the floor and onto his legs and shorts! He panics as he realizes that it's too late to stop - he has to finish! He begins to stand up to get out of the mess but suddenly notices the large cruiser with an entire family on board overtaking him to starboard. They pass and don't see anything but he is now good and wet. He stands up and just as he does, the wake from the cruiser overtakes his boat, the bailing bucket spills and splashes all over the seats, the cooler and the helm. He avoids falling in it but just barely. He is now feeling rather nauseous and suddenly vomits violently over the side into the water. He looks up just to see some young women in a go fast boat laughing at his plight.
He is now faced with washing down the inside of the boat with salt water. He gets to the launch and due to the poor handling of the boat and the kicker in the wind ends up sideways across 2 of the 4 ramps. He bumps boats, and generally makes an *** of himself in front of probably hundreds of spectators.
He finally gets the boat loaded
(a kind soul reluctantly offered to help) and drives the hour and a half home in rush hour in the 100 degree heat (with the air conditioning broken) and the truck ready to overheat at any moment. The whole way he notices people in other vehicles beside him giving him odd looks and funny smiles. Some look downright angry and some are sickened by the sight of him. When he gets home and begins to inspect and clean the boat he notices the vomit dried to the side of the boat. A nice thick, unmistakable, mess of it that is so cooked on from the sun that it damages the finish...
My friend sold that boat the next weekend at a huge loss and to this day makes sure his new boat is in PERFECT running condition before he leaves the dock...
Grant
Vancouver, BC
He fired up the kicker and putted back to the dock. On the way home, the wind picked up. His 4-5 mph turned into about 2 or 3. He decided for safety to drop off the guests on a closer dock so they could call for a ride (this is the Pacific Ocean after all).
Getting close to the dock, the winds and boat traffic were creating quite a cross chop. The cell rang and as he opened the flip phone, the boat bucked the phone dropped, bounced off the gunwale and went into the deep. They managed to tie off and walked up the ramp to wait for the ride.
When they were safely in the car and on the way home, he went back to the boat and found that someone had moved the boat and left it grinding the gel coat against the dock, messing up the finish and some tape stripes on the side. Oh well. He refueled the kicker and prepared to head out for the home dock where the truck and trailer were parked.
He made the 10 miles or so in reasonably good time (he was hungry as it was close to dinner time now so he scarfed down what was left of the lunches and snacks), the wind was still strong but at least there was some shelter from the inlet. As he got closer to port he realized that he really had to go to the bathroom bad, it wouldn't be comfortable to wait. Considering he would be retrieving the boat by himself, with just the kicker, in the wind at a busy time of day, at one of the busiest launches in the area, he decided to relieve himself before getting to port. The problem was that there was a lot of boat traffic around so he couldn't just hang it over the side and go, he had to find another more discreet way; the bailing bucket.
Now I have to tell you that my friend is a very frugal guy. Rather than pay the $10 or so for a good galvanized bucket for the boat, he opted to make a bailing bucket out of an old milk jug. It works fine but it's thin and doesn't really stand up to much wear. He didn't want to lose any momentum from the kicker and lose any headway so he got himself set up between the seats without even stopping the motor. He looks around, (the coast is clear) and begins to do the deed. He soon realizes that his knees are getting wet. He is not missing the bucket, no the bucket has 2 or 3 pin holes in it that are letting the amber liquid flow all over the floor and onto his legs and shorts! He panics as he realizes that it's too late to stop - he has to finish! He begins to stand up to get out of the mess but suddenly notices the large cruiser with an entire family on board overtaking him to starboard. They pass and don't see anything but he is now good and wet. He stands up and just as he does, the wake from the cruiser overtakes his boat, the bailing bucket spills and splashes all over the seats, the cooler and the helm. He avoids falling in it but just barely. He is now feeling rather nauseous and suddenly vomits violently over the side into the water. He looks up just to see some young women in a go fast boat laughing at his plight.
He is now faced with washing down the inside of the boat with salt water. He gets to the launch and due to the poor handling of the boat and the kicker in the wind ends up sideways across 2 of the 4 ramps. He bumps boats, and generally makes an *** of himself in front of probably hundreds of spectators.
He finally gets the boat loaded
(a kind soul reluctantly offered to help) and drives the hour and a half home in rush hour in the 100 degree heat (with the air conditioning broken) and the truck ready to overheat at any moment. The whole way he notices people in other vehicles beside him giving him odd looks and funny smiles. Some look downright angry and some are sickened by the sight of him. When he gets home and begins to inspect and clean the boat he notices the vomit dried to the side of the boat. A nice thick, unmistakable, mess of it that is so cooked on from the sun that it damages the finish...
My friend sold that boat the next weekend at a huge loss and to this day makes sure his new boat is in PERFECT running condition before he leaves the dock...
Grant
Vancouver, BC
