Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

jtexas

jtexas

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She's a high school freshman, first time dating (actual car dating), going out with a junior. We (the parents) insisted on meeting him first & he's okay. I had envisioned a burly athlete preying on freshman girls, but he's just a regular kid, polite (for a teenager) & we know who his folks are through PTA.<br /><br />My question:<br />Is coming in 10 minutes late because they've been "talking" for 10 minutes breaking curfew or not?<br /><br />Our position is that she's not "home" until she's inside the house - sitting in the car at the curb don't count. We specifically discussed this so there's question of a misunderstanding. Consequence: grounded for next weekend, but she threw such a hissy fit that we added another weekend.<br /><br />Just curious how much "tolerance" is built in to your curfews.<br /><br />thanks,<br />jtw
 
ehenry

ehenry

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

You bet your A$$ its right ! ! ! I got a son and he has a curfew. My boy is a junior....he has to have Scoop (the girlfriend) home @ 11:30 for her and 12:00 for him on weekends and they dont go anywhere at all during the week unless it to church or a school function. Then its 9:00 for her and 9:30 for him. Zero tolerance unless he calls and says what the problem is.
 
aspeck

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

JT - I'm on your side. If they were talking they could have come in the house and continued the conversation around the kitchen table. If you give a little leeway now, she will only be asking for more leeway later.<br /><br />Just my opinion, but what do I know when it comes to women, then add to that teenage women - yikes!
 
JB

JB

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

When my girls were teens (loooong time ago) on-the-property was "home". Porch swing was a favorite "talking" spot. In the house was better, but kitchen and living room only. Half hour after "curfew" the guy had to leave.<br /><br />You've been around here long enough to guess how much slack they got. :D
 
SpinnerBait_Nut

SpinnerBait_Nut

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

JT, have raised 3 girls here and when I set a curfew, I stayed with it.<br /><br />Like speck says, if they see they can throw a "hissy" and sling tears and snot around and get by with it, they will do it again.<br /><br />The guys never did like to meet me for I was always a big fellow and I always made it a point that they knew if they hurt my little girls in any way, it would make me very unhappy.<br /><br />Never a problem. ;)
 
KaGee

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

Originally posted by JB:<br /> You've been around here long enough to guess how much slack they got. :D
Click to expand...
So, you had a "POOF" button way back then too , eh JB? Or was it the Shotgun? ;) <br /><br />My boys soon had zero tolerance because they always pushed the envelope.
 
S

spratt

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

I would feel the same way you do about it, JT, but I never raised daughters, just sons. However, can I be the Devil's Advocate here? As parents sometimes we expect things of ouor kids, but we are not willing to be kept to the same standards. IT you and your wife are prompt, on time folks, then she should have learned that 10 minutes late, is jut plain LATE!!! And should suffer the consequences. However...if you are late runners also, tehn she may have learned it is ok to be "fashionably late" or even not even take time into consideration. <br /><br />I disagree slightly with aspeck, in that this one (you said first date) instance she was at least home, but not int he house, but she DID come in 10 minutes late. I remember my first dates, and the fact that one can get caught up in something, even a converstaion and lose track of time.<br /><br />I believe she should be forgiven, and receive the lecture of "Next time will be the last time"...guess it is easy for me to say since I don't have girls...though I AM raising two grand-daughters, perhaps even till they are grown!!! Ask me in 14 years what I would do:)
 
LadyFish

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

When I was growing up we could not go out at all<br />during the week, unless it was a special function.<br />Weekends curfew was 11:00 until I was a senior <br />then it was midnight. And God help you if you <br />broke curfew, you'd be grounded for a month. But<br />when I was a freshman and Sophmore, it was 10:00.<br /><br />I used to think my Dad was strict, but I raised my<br />daughter the same way.There was NO tolerance built<br />in curfews. No arguing, no questioning, no <br />concessions, no changing it...PERIOD. <br /><br />P.S. They're not talking. :p My Daddy would be <br />standing in the door or on the porch waiting, no <br />time for talking or whatever. I'd better have my <br />bootie out of that car and if he didn't walk me to<br />the door and say hello to my parents before and <br />after, I couldn't see him again.<br /><br />Now with our daughter, we made a few concessions, <br />but one was never sit in the car and visit.
 
M

mikeandronda

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

JB's got the right Idea if they need a bit of talking time after her curfew, let them do it in the house..........it will give you a little insight on how trust worthy the boy is if hes willing to come in and hang out instead of only wanting that time in the car.
 
N

ndemge

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

suprema-1.jpg
 
ehenry

ehenry

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

I did the sit in the car thing once.....got caught too!!!! I think John Prine wrote his Dear Abby song with a verse about that. Dear Abby, Dear Abby I never thought...Me and my girlfriend would ever be caught...Sittin in the back seat just shootin the breeze....With her hair up in curlers and her ..........I believe you all know the rest. :cool:
 
KaGee

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

ROFLMA.....@ ND! :D :D :D
 
K

kenimpzoom

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

Ummm, You are correct jtexas. Rules are rules.<br /><br />I like JB's idea, if the boy can stay out later, then the extra time can be spent on the front porch with me watching the TV and "cleaning" the shotgun.<br /><br />P.S. I had some interesting talks with an old girlfriend in car while sitting out front of dads house. Cops were called cause it was a suspicious car!!!!! We were only "talking"! ;) :D <br /><br />Ken
 
rolmops

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

I brought up 2 girls.One is 22 now,the other is 17.<br />When they were 13,14 years old,I was very protective.By the time they were 17,I prayed for a guy to come along and return my freedom to me.<br />I never did set them a strict curfew.I taught them common sense and self defense.I pity the guy who looses his common sense with my 2 little innocent looking daughters.<br />My main advice to them always has been:" Don't do what I would have done"
 
LadyFish

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

Noel, thats it......just like my Dads. :D
 
D

deputydawg

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

Hmmm, remember when you were the nice boy sitting in the car? I do, that is why my daughters will not date until they are 30!<br />One girlfriend I had had to be in the house or on the porch. No "talking" in the car. I as a good boy respected that. <br />My mother compramised for my sister, had to be home at 11 on weekends. After a fight, was allowed to sit on the steps and talk until 11:30. When it was time to come in the old porch light would flash a few times.<br />Hold your ground, when she calms down try to talk about it. If it is something you feel strongly about, hold your ground. You are the parent, she is the child. If a compramise would make it better to handle with less rebellion do the porch thing, or have them come in and join thye family watching TV. I have had GF do that too. I married that one. If the BF respects her, he will respect her fathers wishes and encourage her to follow the rules.<br />Just my opinion.
 
Boomyal

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

I, the supreme believer in 'tough love', would cut her a leeettle slack, for this time only. She was, after all, 'kind of home'. That is of course unless you specified 'in the house'.<br /><br />But I would make it perfectly clear that there would be no slack in the future. I really do like LadyFish's fathers expectation, as well.
 
LadyFish

LadyFish

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

TY Boomyal, My Dad raised 4 of us girls that way. <br /><br />Earning his respect wasn't always easy for our <br />boyfriends, some never got it. But even more <br />important to my father was their respect of us and <br />our own self respect.<br /><br />Didn't matter what our friends were allowed to do.<br />Which made it really hard on us at times, but <br />looking back I know he did it cause he loved us..<br /><br />....and I love him for it.
 
N

NYMINUTE

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

Deduct the amount of time over the said curfew from the next "date". Should this go over the limit, double the time. If penalty seems too severe tp the young lady, perhaps a dating ban should take effect until she recognizes you are still the dad and mom. I raised 2 now 34 and 24. The message was clear when I walked out to a car one night to remind her itwas 10:59, and she has 1 minute to get inside. I apologized to the kid for my daughters inability to tell time. He was sweating. My kid tested me afew more times and found I was no softer. Now she is protective of my granddaughter. Burton Cummings of the Guess Who said it best "TIE HER UP"
 
Boomyal

Boomyal

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Re: Parents of teenage daughters: curfew is curfew, right?

Originally posted by JB:<br /> When my girls were teens (loooong time ago) on-the-property was "home". Porch swing was a favorite "talking" spot. In the house was better, but kitchen and living room only. Half hour after "curfew" the guy had to leave.
Click to expand...
JB, you mean you wouldn't let them sit out in the buckboard, with their Beaus? :p
 
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