Other Parents opinions

[ehenry]

I'd just like to hear what the other Daddy's on this board think:<br /><br />My 17 year old son got out of school today for the Christmas holidays. He calls me up wanting to go to a basketball game down in Natchez, MS which is about 145 miles from where we live. A friend from school will ride down with him in his truck. Also, he's wanting to spend the night with this friend's cousin and come back in the morning. We dont know the cousin or the cousin's family & he doesn't know how old the cousin is or anything. All the details he's given me are sketchy at best. He will also be driving back alone since the friend will be staying down there where his mother lives. Kyle knows he only gets a tank of gas a week, he just filled up yesterday.<br /><br />I told him, no, that he couldn't go. Now he's really torqued out of shape with me. <br /><br />My reasons (which he doesn't know) are because:<br /><br />1. Too much of a spur of the moment thing<br />2. Dont know the folks hes staying with<br />3. Driving back alone<br />4. GAS - or his lack of supplying it<br />5. He's the only child I got.....am I holding on too tight?? <br /><br />Just want some other thoughts on this.

 

[KennyKenCan]

Re: Other Parents opinions

1. Too much of a spur of the moment thing <br />A)Yes, I think that if he wanted to go on a trip like this, he should have planned it better.<br />2. Dont know the folks hes staying with<br />A)That alone would prevent any of my kids from going!<br />3. Driving back alone<br />A)NO WAY!<br />4. GAS - or his lack of supplying it<br />A)Well, if he can't afford to go, then how does he plan on getting there and back?<br />5. He's the only child I got.....am I holding on too tight?? <br />A)You can never hold on too tight, its the letting go that hurts!

 

[fixin]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Sounds like it's a girl or a party!

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Other Parents opinions

E.F. Henry you did the right thing!<br /><br />17 is too young to do that, tell him when he is 18 and paying rent he will be an adult.<br /><br />Till then, no way.<br /><br />That is how I would do it.<br /><br />Ken

 

[PatPatterson]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Originally posted by Fixin:<br /> Sounds like it's a girl or a party!

What He said.

 

[ehenry]

Re: Other Parents opinions

I'm pretty sure its not a girl. He got traded Evil Girl friend for a new model ..I do know that there is a basketball tournament down there that his school is playing in. <br /><br />I'm going with my instincts on this one.

 

[PatPatterson]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Trust your instincts, EF. <br /><br />When it comes to my kids, (I have 3 from 20 down to 10), if it don't look right, or sound right, or feel right, it usually ain't right.

 

[Mark42]

Re: Other Parents opinions

I support your decision. Drive 145 miles for a basketball game? Is he a big fan of either team? If not, you can be sure he just wants to "party hearty". <br /><br />He sounds like me at 17. And 18, and 19, and 20....

 

[ehenry]

Re: Other Parents opinions

I trust him totally....this is just a little too hokey to me. Also, aftr this tournament there is another one saturday on over in Louisiana.

 

[NOSLEEP]

Re: Other Parents opinions

I agree trust you instincts.<br />17 Is old enough to know right from wrong.<br />Depends on past experiences. <br /><br />It is expected of a young man to divulge in<br />passions of his time. Under penalty of being<br />judged not to have lived.

 

[Twidget]

Re: Other Parents opinions

I wholeheartedly agree with you. He may be torqued at you now, but trust me, one day he will realize what you are doing for him.<br /><br />I can say that from personal experience. At 17, my Dad needed to get rid of me, his new wife and I didnt get along(wow was that a story). Dad was stationed at Travis AFB(just east of San Francisco), Mom lived in Tulsa, OK. Dad gives me $200, a Texaco card, a map and sends me on my way in my old car. At the time, it seemed cool that he would trust me like that, looking back on it as I got older I realized the didnt give a damn about me. He just wanted his new wife happy.<br /><br />Stick to your guns, he will appreciate the caring later on.

 

[rogerwa]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Offer to go with him.. That should put an end to it..<br /><br />depends on the kid, but you are right in your decision. That why we are called parents not necessarily friends..

 

[Boomyal]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Stand firm, EF and make it clear that his attitude will not be toloerated. When he is of age and is paying all the bills then the decision can be left to him. Until then, he is still under the guidance of his parents!<br /><br />Seventeen is definitely a difficult age. They get a bit heady at that age.

 

[Butch Ammon]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Ditto... At 17, the answer would be "NO" here too. I have twin daughters who are 18 and I have said "No" to a lot of things. But only when I know the parents and/or know the friends they hang with, do I say "Yes".<br /><br />Butch A.

 

[ehenry]

Re: Other Parents opinions

OH, there is no mind changing once I render a decision.

 

[jtexas]

Re: Other Parents opinions

EF, my girls are 12 & 15, and in my opinion, you made a reasonable decision.<br /><br />You looked for reasons to say yes but they just weren't there.<br /><br />Not that his story is unbelievable; at 17 driving to Natchez for a ball game probably sounds like an excellent idea. Like Butch, I gotta know its somebody I trust there to be responsible for my kids when they're that far away. Time enough for road trips after they turn 18.

 

[ED21]

Re: Other Parents opinions

Your reasons are good.<br />My answer would have been the same.<br />BTW- When I was 17 I would have been torqued off too. That's a teenagers right not to like the rules.<br />Then I grew up & am responsible for my kids.

 

[JasonJ]

Re: Other Parents opinions

I could go on about "you have to trust him sometimes" and "he'll just rebel if you keep telling him no" and "if he has been a good kid, why not let him", but then I think about my 13 year old daughter, and what would I do if given the same scenario when she is 17, and in the end I would not let her go, so I have to agree with the others here. When I was 17, I was in Basic Training, puting rounds down range, and getting my arse whipped into shape by drill sergeants, and I really needed it. <br /><br />He can do what ever he wants when he is 18.....

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Other Parents opinions

IMHO.......NO WAY! <br /><br />Unless it was by bus and returning the same night. It's a week before Christmas and there are drunk drivers on the road.<br /><br />The dollar aspect of it, plays a second role to a child's safety and well being. Additionally, staying the night only means another opportunity to get into trouble IMO. Especially if its not with someone you know well. No matter how much you trust him, and how good a kid he is, he is 17. Think back.

 

[ehenry]

Re: Other Parents opinions

JasonJ, no disrespect here but 18 aint the magic number as far as I'm concerned. You might have been " sending rounds down range at 17" but he'll still be living in my house, whoofin down my food, burning my gas, and me makin the notes on his ride and such as that....there wont any "Do what ever he wants when he's 18." When he starts making his own notes, paying his bills, and making his own way in this world THEN there can be all the "Do what ever he wants." than he can stand or can afford.