Need suggestions (cub scouts)

kenimpzoom

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I am the leader of our Scouts Bear den (3rd graders).<br /><br />One of the boy's older sister always wants to participate. The boy ends up fighting with the sister, trying to keep her away. The parents try to keep her away, but dont do a very good job. Parents are really the grandparents and dont get around very well.<br /><br />Right now I am just 100% ignoring her, hoping she will get bored.<br /><br />Kinda fed up with the situation, just really venting more than anything. Its hard enough to try to control six 8 yr old boys.<br /><br />Ken
 

Bassy

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Contact the girl's parents and explain that she is being a distraction and if she can't behave she won't be allowed to come to the meetings. My opinion.<br />Bassy
 

kenimpzoom

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

The whole family stays there, granpaw, granmaw, boy, and sister.<br /><br />I am hoping the granmaw takes the girl someplace else, but I know the real reason they come, they need relief from the kids.<br /><br />Two people in their 60s living in a travel trailer dont need to bring up two kids, but they had no choice. The grandpaw explained he had to rescue them from the real parents. Bad custody battle.<br /><br />Ken
 

JB

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Sounds like a young lady in desperate need of acceptance to me, KIZ. She has probably had more than her share of rejection.<br /><br />Is there no organized scouting type activity available to her? How old is she?<br /><br />Do you think maybe her brother could be persuaded to share his fun with her? Are there unbreakable rules against allowing her in?<br /><br />I think my approach would be to look for a way to solve her needs for acceptance among playmates.<br /><br />We Grandparents are caring and loving but we aren't mom or dad or playmates. She needs them just as badly as he does.
 

Parrott_head

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Does one of the Cub Scouts have an older sister, maybe a bit older than her, that could come to the meetings and play with her?<br /><br />Scout meetings are kind of short, maybe they could play board games or crafts?<br /><br />I agree with JB, this girl needs some friends.<br /><br />Since the mothers of the Cubs have to drop off and pickup their sons could one of the mothers take the girl and spend a bit of time with her?<br /><br />Maybe get the girl enrolled in the Big Brothers/Big Sister program.
 

WillyBWright

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Yeah, but her brother would probably go to the meetings and be a distraction. ;)
 

mellowyellow

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

how old is she? if old enuff, I'd try to put her<br />in charge of an activity. sometimes if you give<br />a little responsibility, they act much diff.
 

SS MAYFLOAT

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Gee Ken, you got your hands full! I did the Cub Scout leader thing for about a year. It was fun, exciting, and nerve racking.<br /><br />It always seems that at every meeting there was someone different showing up. I agree it is distraction to the utmost. <br /><br />One of the cubs had a sister that would show up and would disrupt the meetings. I talked to the parents about how it makes it impossible to keep the attention with outside interference. I suggested to them maybe get her into 4-H, Girl Scouts, Junior Achievement, and some other local community groups. It didn't work. So I talked to the group and asked them what they would like to do to help keep her from wanting to be included in the group. A show of hands was unamaous (sp) that they didn't want her included.<br /><br />The smart one of the cubs made a suggestion that I offer to give the girls brother a ride to and from the meetings. What an idea. So I asked the parents if it was okay that I would supply them with transportation of their son to the meetings. They thought that was a wonderful idea. It worked!<br /><br />If that doesn't work, try using her for knot tying practice for the cubs! Find out which one can successfully tie her up where she can't move or talk. Just kidding, but boy oh boy did we want to try that technique!
 

kenimpzoom

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Thanks guys for all the help. I think the girl is in girl scouts, they just meet on a different day.<br /><br />The girl is about 10, I think. It is hard to tell cause she is on the large side.<br /><br />As for her joining in, I am a firm believer in keeping things seperate. It may help the girl to join, but it may also harm the boy at the same time.<br /><br />I am also going to try the transportation idea, cause some kids arent showing up, and I suspect it is due to parents not helping.<br /><br />Ken
 

PatPatterson

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

I have the same problems with youth sports. I make it clear to all that the only ones allowed in the activity are the team members.<br /><br />Try setting up a VCR and TV with a movie for her to watch. Just to get her out of the way. Might help.
 

kenimpzoom

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Have another question.<br /><br />Need suggestions for a subsititue word for parents. I feel guily saying "When you go home, talk to your parents...uh, or grandparents, uh or mom"<br /><br />All (except for one or two) of the kids dont have parents, they live with grandparents, or other relatives, or from single parent homes.<br /><br />Caregiver sounds kinda wierd.<br /><br />Ken
 

PatPatterson

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

I also have this problem with calling them parents. I am from the South, so I just say "Tell your folks...."
 

JB

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

"Guardian" is a correct term, but might not have the right meaning to small ones. <br /><br />I like Capt. Kidd's suggestion, "folks", but you might also try the taste of "grown-ups".<br /><br />You are doing an important thing for those boys, KIZ. You have my respect. :)
 

kenimpzoom

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Duh, I forgot, Akela is the cub scout name for adults.<br /><br />JB, trust me, I am not doing this out of choice, but only because no one else will do it. I dont mind doing it, but I think someone else would be better as I am pretty boring and kinda technical.<br /><br />I was hoping the assistant this year would help, but she has not shown up for the last two meetings. The one previous to that she came, but brought her coupons to organize while at the meeting. Needless to say, no help so far.<br /><br />Ken
 

deofc

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Being the leader is always hard. Try to get other parents involved in doing a meeting or at least an activity on a rotating basis. All parents won't but some will. This way you will get some help and a break from being in total charge all of the time.
 

hayhauler

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Scouting is tough on the adults, but impossible without parents who will take on the responsibility. You are the one doing it, so you are to be commended.<br /><br />When are you meeting? And what options do you have. At that age we meet right after school, at the school, with the principal's permission. That was effective because they weren't up too late. Might be effective for you because sis could ride the bus home, or get home however she usually does. I wasn't the leader then, but the women who were in the pack led. Now I am the Webelos leader, and we meet in the evening. My schedule is flexible enough for right after school, but I wanted to begin transitioning them into what the Boy Scouts do.<br /><br />Where are you meeting? We meet at a church, and one of the boys parents almost always brings his sister, another a little brother. One of the mom's stays out on the play ground with them, but I make sure to include them in snack time.<br /><br />Cub Scouting is more of a family activity, and I appreciate your sensitivity to the grandparents in this situation. Most of my scouts are from stable, two parent, homes, but I still tell them to tell the adults at their house, or "give this to the adults at your house."<br /><br />Good luck.
 

kenimpzoom

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

That is one problem, I get off at 5 pm and have a 45 min commute. I am lucky to make it to the meeting at 7 pm.<br /><br />Last night the girl tried to join the closing ceremony thing, I had to ask her to leave, she busted out in tears, I felt terrible of corse.<br /><br />Dad tried to get her in girl scouts, but after the first meeting no one ever called.<br /><br />We meet at a church, there is a playground, but there are no kids her age to play with her. I just wish she would stay at home, so she wouldnt get upset.<br /><br />On another topic, I suggest all of you that need some stress try to manage nine 8 yr old boys. Last night we build paper airplanes, and you can imagine the carnage.<br /><br /><br />Ken
 

Peter J Fraser

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

Kempinzoom,<br />You have a tiger by the tail there buddy.<br />I too have been there done that but our scout group was integrated and a mixed group.<br />I was actually the group committee chairman for a few years until I got "stitched up" one night by people I thought were mates and found myself becoming a District Commissioner looking after 5 Scout Groups and about 100 kids and Leaders.<br />Great challenge and enjoyed it for a number of years. <br />However we did not experience any serious sibling rivalry in any of the groups I was working with during that period.<br />Also went to 2 Jamborees with my son (he was 16 yo at the last one) I still have a number of old District Badges left at home if you are a collector let me know. The Area was re-districted about 9 years back and the district name disappeared so these are now unique.<br />Can you get the grandparents involved with your programme as helpers and guide a separation between the kids to ease the problem while they are in your care?<br /> :) :) <br />Peter
 

wajajaja

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Re: Need suggestions (cub scouts)

I believe BSA is now open to females, I would suggest you contact the area council.professionals. you could end up buying her a college education.
 
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